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Controversy Surrounds Ranulph Fiennes Everest Conquest

Funny story: Controversy Surrounds Ranulph Fiennes Everest Conquest

It emerged today after live satellite pictures showed a shattered Ranulph Fiennes claim 'The Oldest British Person to scale Mount Everest', was awash with cheat allegations. If rumours are proven to be true, Ranulph Fiennes used a 'Stoner Stair lift'...

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New Allotment Tax to Commence July 13th

Funny story: New Allotment Tax to Commence July 13th

Gordon brown announced today that the proposed Nationwide Allotment Tax will come into force July 13th 2009 in time for the peak growing season. Allotment holders will be charged £75 per plot, per year, based on an average plot of 300 sq. mtr. Mu...

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President Obama in London racism scandal

Funny story: President Obama in London racism scandal

President Obama was today embroiled in a brief incident over an alleged racist slur. The incident is said to have happened at a short visit to London Zoo. President Obama was at the Chimpanzee enclosure listening to Zoo Keeper Max Scatt speakin...

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Police discover arse in field

It was reported today that Norfolk Police made a grim discovery in a field near Stalham. A human arse semi buried on the edge of a newly planted potato field next to the A149. DC Dick Bone investigating the whereabouts of the owner of the arse...

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Chief of Police warns public about rogue apostrophes

Funny story: Chief of Police warns public about rogue apostrophes

There's a new danger to the public. It's on the increase and The United Nations have given the green light to a new World Police Service. What is this new danger to the general public? Firearms? Narcotic's? (fuck right off) Or even Religious Cults...

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Barak Obama bans Starbucks and opens new chain of O'bama's Irish Coffee Shops

Funny story: Barak Obama bans Starbucks and opens new chain of O'bama's Irish Coffee Shops

Barak Obama's (or is it O'bama's) wheels of industry are gradually picking up speed. They are now taking shape in the form of an Irish Coffee shop called O'bamas. These shops are planned to be in every town and city in the USA within four years, se...

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Barak Obama to order US to only import Kenyan Coffee. And then outlaws all other varieties.

Funny story: Barak Obama to order US to only import Kenyan Coffee. And then outlaws all other varieties.

President Obama announced his first Socialist act he was going to pass as soon as possible. Having already warned the US that he'd make decisions that might be unpopular. He stated in front of the world's media, 'we need to help the needy in so...

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President Barak Obama declares war on Scotland and John McCain changes his surname to Kennedy just in case.

Funny story: President Barak Obama declares war on Scotland and John McCain changes his surname to Kennedy just in case.

In an unbelievable amount of time, Barak Obama made his first major decision as President. Totally ignoring the fact that he is not sworn in until January 20th. Declared war on Scotland and gave the Nation 48 hours to surrender or face the wrath of...

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Jeremy Vyle told me to put a condiment on the end of it. And I got my knob stuck in a sauce bottle.

TV personality and self-styled 'humiliationist' Jeremy Vyle found himself in bother from the National Dyslexics Association (NDA) today. After it was found that dyslexic Chav Tyrone Dillon Mitchell 17, who has ADHD, had got his girlfriend pregnant...

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Male Voice Choir from sleepy village colliery wins MOBO award

Funny story: Male Voice Choir from sleepy village colliery wins MOBO award

Rhosgoch village in North Wales are celebrating today. Their male voice choir, formed from the miners of the local coal pit. Have won a prestigious MOBO award (Music Of Black Origin), category - Best UK Newcomers. A surprised MOBO audience watch...

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90th Anniversary Armistice reunion will be the very last...most probably

Funny story: 90th Anniversary Armistice reunion will be the very last...most probably

It was announced today, with great regret. The 90th Annual WWI Armistice Reunion would have to be shelved indefinitely after this year's event. Main reasons being cited are The Credit Crunch and Global Warming taking its toll. Others have a differing...

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Norwich proven to be shit after match fixing probe

Funny story: Norwich proven to be shit after match fixing probe

Norwich City FC was relieved after being cleared of any wrong doing concerning match fixing. Even though the Norwich goalkeeper made the mother of all clangers. The defence were permanently asleep. The midfield kept giving the ball away. And the...

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Gervais would do the Oscars but...

Funny story: Gervais would do the Oscars but...

British funny man and 'ad-lib' king Ricky Gervais announced today that if he was to be offered the host's job of presenting The Oscars he'd have to turn it down. 'It's not that I'm crap at my job', Gervais quipped 'It's just that I don't work without...

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Titanic survivor auctions herself off

Funny story: Titanic survivor auctions herself off

The only remaining relic of the Titanic surviving, today announced she was to auction herself off. 96 year old Lilly Bean who is bed ridden with a gammy leg said today, 'I'm in desperate need to get my pipes cleaned out, but the state of The NHS,...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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