California - Fresh from the fertile minds of Apple engineers, according to Apple spokesman Dick Mac Intush, the new portable iPhart lunches will be dispensed everywhere from new Apple vending machines.
The new product offering includes:
An appl...
Washington DC - The FDA today ruled that a new device that detects contaminated food is a terrorist device since it can be used to damage corporations producing GMO foods.
Dr. Strange Death, spokesman for the FDA, made the announcement to a packed...
Washington DC - Ms. Inelay Ancerday, spokeswoman for the IRS, told TheSpoof.com today that in addition to taxpayers K, L, and M having to purchase $20,000.00 of health insurance from the approved cartel, all families of one or more people will be req...
Chicago - Police spokesperson S. Wineburger of the Chicago Police Department announced today that anyone pointing glasses at police conducting official business may be shot.
It was previously reported here that police are now trained to shoot anyo...
Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags...
New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...
Tokyo - Minister of Finance, Kurtaklinger San, has announced a new bank will be in control of all Japanese banks. This new bank will also be taking over the other nations banks in quick succession. According to Kurtaklinger San spokesperson, Ningaw...
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican.
"We feel Satan best represents the...
Vatican - Pope Benedick has stepped down as Pope. According to Vatican sources he is pregnant and has been showing under his robes for about month.
Cardinal Jose Sardouchey, who fathered the child, said in a press conference earlier today that he...
Washington DC - TheSpoof.com has confirmed Eric Gunholder will sue Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi. According to the suit, Ponzi spoiled the reputation of the Social Security Administration.
Gunholder told TheSpoof.com in an exclu...
San Francisco, CA - The 49ers public relations manager, Mr. Phlapper, told reporters tonight that the team is concerned about the global wing shortage.
"We heard on the T.V. that there is a massive shortage of wings. I mean, there just aren't any...
New York NY - Police attempted to restore order today in Times Square amid a tumult of rioting fat people. Spokesperson Ms. Phat Derrierey explained why protest had turned to violence.
"It's that ban an large sugary drinks. We all decided that e...
New York, NY - The state of New York is moving to ban assault shakers, according to a spokesman from the governor's office, Mr. Harry Pepper.
"We have no issue, now, with salt shakers. But who, in their right mind, needs an assault shaker?", Mr.
Washington, D.C. - Senate leaders leaked to this reporter, today, that a solution to the Baby Boomer Fiscal Cliff problem has been agreed to. The basic idea is very simple. Not enough young to take care of the old. It is the creative solution that...
Hollywood, California - The script for the first show of a new T.V. series to be hosted by hoity-toity Piers Morgan has been leaked to the Press. The new show is to be called America's Got Guns and features exciting audience interaction.
The scri...
Washington D.C. - By executive order, per the White House dot com news story section, all small arms are banned.
TheSpoof.com reproduces the order here:
"Small arms have been implicated in too many crimes. To many widdows. Too many sisters...
Golden, CO - From a town named Golden comes a discovery that is about to make the precious metal as cheap as lead. Apple Creek High School student Lanny Auris has developed a cheap process to make gold from lead, in his basement using only common ho...
Washington DC - With the threat of the physical cliff eminent, a maverick group congressional leaders is dealing with the issue.
"The 2% are running out of sources of income. But we know where the money is. Old people", related a congressman,...