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Zombie babies invade Washington DC

Funny story: Zombie babies invade Washington DC

Washington DC - According to MacDiner restaurant waitress Ms. Taekin, the town is being invaded by zombies. Little zombies. “Hordes of baby zombies, too young to crawl, are walking on their legs, eyes glazed over and drooling at the mouth. “One...

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Airports relabeling “Animal Relief Areas”

Funny story: Airports relabeling “Animal Relief Areas”

UN, New York, NY - Samir Braseer Alahumpidad, chairman of UNFART (United Nations Flying Animal Relief Travelers), held a press conference behind the UN building today at noon, holding the leash of his companion support dog as it relieved itself on th...

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Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff

Funny story: Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff

New York, NY - Overheard by the Trump Tower elevator operator, Igbay Arseay, at noon today: a brilliant plan for America to “keep its stuff”. As reported here, aliens are planning to use their vast hordes of accumulated dollars to buy all America’...

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DEA relieves drug cartel’s cellulose constipation

Funny story: DEA relieves drug cartel’s cellulose constipation

Tijuana, Mexico - Juan Valdez, of the Shinola drug cartel here, called a press conference today to thank the DEA for removing several pounds of hundred-dollar bills from his colon. He stated: I was s-o-o-o-o constipated! I’d run out of room to...

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George Bush eats elephant sushi

Funny story: George Bush eats elephant sushi

Deepest, Africa - According to Voryiay iLdoday, Chief Game Warden, elephant poaching is soon to be a thing of the past. iLdoday and his team are fitting all elephants with automatic guided missile launchers. The special system detects rifle cracks...

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Carnivor Cruise Line to feature cannibalism on the high seas

Funny story: Carnivor Cruise Line to feature cannibalism on the high seas

Miami, FL - A new reality TV series will launch this fall documenting the adventures of vacationers braving voyages on the new Carnivor Cruise Line, producer Annibalcay Rossgay told us when we asked him what’s new. Vacationers sign a waiver that t...

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Stilt housing for the street bum ending homelessness

Funny story: Stilt housing for the street bum ending homelessness

San Francisco, CA - Tubby Bozo, president and CEO of The Bozo Group, an apartment developer in California, announced to a group of reporters at his mansion today the end of homelessness. As previously reported at this link , apartments are expensi...

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The circus is coming back - gang man style!

Funny story: The circus is coming back - gang man style!

Washington DC - According to anonymous White House spokesperson “Q”, Barnum and Bailey Circus is merging with the defense department in a bold move to save both. Sarah Palin also has a piece of the action. The new circus will march from city...

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Hospitals to NOT heat-sanitize plumbing drains to avoid super-bug breeding

Funny story: Hospitals to NOT heat-sanitize plumbing drains to avoid super-bug breeding

Bethesda, Maryland - The National Institute of Health has found out how super-bugs are created by hospitals. It’s very simple. Sick people’s bodily fluids are sent down plumbing drains where they meet up with anti-biotics. All the non-super germs ar...

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UN to wire Earth as a giant electro-magnet

Funny story: UN to wire Earth as a giant electro-magnet

New York, NY - According to Dr. Mellysay of India, stationed at the UN building, the world’s scientists have united in a global effort to wind several billion turns of 1 gauge silver wire around the equator. The reason given by the Dr. involves so...

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Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

Funny story: Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...

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Penis blackening laser treatments the rage at Berkeley

Funny story: Penis blackening laser treatments the rage at Berkeley

Berkeley, CA - The Gilipollas Clinic, according to BLM activists here, is awash with clients getting penis darkening laser treatments. Ironically the opposite is happening in Thailand As reported here. Here in Berkeley, pale members of BLM are...

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Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Funny story: Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Geneva, Switzerland - Professor Grostrou DuCul of Le Pied Malodorant University held a small press conference this afternoon to clarify how global warming is producing earth quakes. According to the Professor both animals and humans turn their ba...

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Super quantum computer now available to the public

Funny story: Super quantum computer now available to the public

Cambridge MA - MIT scientist Jean Hiver held a press conference today under the Great Dome of MIT to announce to the world a modular quantum computer easily expandable to n qubits as n approaches infinity. Unlike previous inorganic architectural a...

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The new Asspull Watch deliberately makes you late

Funny story: The new Asspull Watch deliberately makes you late

Cupertino CA - Spokesperson Evilday Uckersay, of Asspull Computer, announced to a handful of reporters, assembled in a huge auditorium, that the new Asspull Watch is deliberately designed to slow you down and make you late after one year of use. H...

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Santa Claus converts to Islam

Funny story: Santa Claus converts to Islam

F.B.I. Headquarters - Children around the Earth will be disappointed to learn that Santa has converted to Islam and will not be visiting this year. In fact he is being held by the F.B.I., according to our source, agent Smith, on complaints of animal...

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Al Frankenfarter resigns from Senate to run for POTUS

Funny story: Al Frankenfarter resigns from Senate to run for POTUS

Washington D.C. (NYT) Al Frankenfarter sobbed through an emotional press conference yesterday where he revealed that he is God's gift to women. He revealed that he has been fighting so that women will be respected everywhere. He claims it is u...

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Americant Arlines offering special travel package to pilots

Funny story: Americant Arlines offering special travel package to pilots

Fort Worth, Texas - Americant Airlines spokesperson (she rides a bicycle to work) Marsheesha Aliboboosa announced today to a group of frazzled, jet lagged reporters a new travel discount program. Pilots and their friends, up to fifty of them, fly...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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