"An ill wind that blows no good," states The Raleigh News & Observer in todays morning edition reporting the following event:
Approximately two hundred demonstrators gathered on the steps of the State Capitol building this morning to demonstra...
Wayne LaPierre, Chairman of the NRA spoke to a wildly enthusiastic crowd of supporters over the weekend. Speaking in front of a US flag as big as the state of Kansas, LaPierre exhorted his supporters to, "Stand up, put your baseball caps on backwards...
An archeological dig in Galilee has uncovered transcripts of songs supposedly written by a young Jesus Christ in the year 22 AD. The transcripts were written in Aramaic, the language of Christ. The songs evidently deal with Christ's concerns that fut...
In an extraordinary Kum Ba Ya moment, the United States Senate passed a bi-partisan bill this morning to reduce their pay and benefits for the duration of the country's financial crisis. It was passed unanimously and was quickly followed by a similar...
In a stunning joint announcement that took the Capitol Press corps and the nation by surprise, the NRA and the White House reached an agreement in which the NRA traded forty-five US Senators and one hundred-fifty US Congressmen to the White House in...
In an announcement this morning Fox News and The National Rifle Association announced a joint initiative that shocked even some of their most ardent supporters. The proposal supports a Constitutional amendment that would change the seventh day of the...
The NRA dominated US House of Representatives introduced legislation today combining a new law titled BYGO (Blow Your guts out) with the existing Stand Your Ground gun laws.
Wayne LaPierre, Chairman of the NRA explained the law at an early morning...
A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...
The Franklin Times newspaper in rural North Carolina is reporting today that an elderly man has been found living in the woods near Louisburg, NC with a pack of dogs and is living as part of the pack. Apparently the man is healthy and relatives stat...
It was a shock heard around the world this morning when an anonymous source within the Vatican leaked word that the new Pope, Pope Francis, had failed a standard urine test for substance abuse after his election.
As news outlets scrambled for add...
The world was stunned early this morning as brown smoke spewed from the Vatican chimney. "What does this mean? What has happened? Have the Cardinals lost their minds?"
As the media speculated and the worlds Catholics tried desperately to make se...
Senators John McCain and Lindsay Graham took to the Senate floor yesterday afternnon while holding hands and condemned in highly charged language the visit of Dennis Rodman to North Korea.
A red faced and agitated McCain screamed, "This is no way...
The world was shocked and mostly outraged today when a North Carolina pastor and recently converted Evangelical Christian was elected Pope by the College of Cardinals at the Vatican.
The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina, is a...
Pope Benedict XVI hurried to a waiting helicopter yesterday afternoon after delivering a brief message to the gathered Cardinals waiting to select a new Pope.
Speculation was rampant as to the reason for his brevity and most believed it was due t...
Mr. Steve Brody of Louisburg, NC, was taken from his home late yesterday afternoon after neighbors contacted local authorities. He was removed from his home in restraints as his neighbors watched in horror.
Brody, a civil rights activist in the s...
Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, held a press conference this morning to make a major announcement. His Face flushed and obviously excited, he gripped a sheaf of papers and took the podium. He began:
"Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people...
In a report that is being vehemently denied by the offices of Senator John McCain and Senator Lindsey Graham, Politico is reporting that the two senators were seen by a maid in a local DC hotel room engaged in a Ménage à Trois with Daffy Duck of cart...
In a report that is being vehemently denied by the offices of Senator John McCain and Senator Lindsey Graham, Politico is reporting that the two senators were seen by a maid in a local DC hotel room engaged in a Ménage à Trois with Daffy Duck of cart...