The Northern Ireland peace process was finally solved today during a meeting between Bertie Ahearn and Tony Blair at Stormont.
Condoleezza Rice's hopes of becoming president have been dashed after it was revealed that President Rice is a registered trade mark.
Weapons of Mass Destruction have finally been found in Iraq.
"Spirit", one of the two NASA rovers that arrived on Mars in January, has been attacked and eaten by a Martian.
Britain has cut all ties with Europe and is now floating off across the Atlantic in the direction of America.