Showing stories written by John Cavanagh

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Funny story: Vivian's Way

Vivian's Way

NEW YORK (AP) - NPR chief, Vivian Schiller, denied that there was anything "mafia-like" in her firing of news man, Juan Williams. "We run a legitimate business here at NPR." When asked why she was not prepared to meet Juan Williams in person w...
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Funny story: Lights. Camera. Healthcare.

Lights. Camera. Healthcare.

Obama: "It's because we truly care about the American people that the State must properly exercise control over healthcare." "So, we have decided to set up Health America as the vehicle to deliver this goal." "We came across this great idea fro...
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Funny story: Elvis to Return in 2018

Elvis to Return in 2018

HOLLYWOOD, (AP) - December 3, 2018. That's the date. In a stunning development coming from the world of entertainment, American singer, Elvis Presley, has been given special permission to make an exclusive return. The return date will be most fitting...
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Funny story: Pelosi Comes Clean About CIA

Pelosi Comes Clean About CIA

Washington (AP) - US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi today clarified her recent statements about the CIA. "The CIA does not lie to Congress. No - it kind of misleads in a masterly fashion. What I mean is that it simply goes about its business; which it...
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Funny story: Gone with the Spin

Gone with the Spin

"I've got him. Phony Tony - right where I want him. What a bloody relief! I've had to put up with the Cherie and Tony show for way too long now. I can't tell you how infuriating all this madness has been."...
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Funny story: The Licence Fee

The Licence Fee

NEW YORK (AP) - "We, at the New York Times, believe that the time is right for the introduction of a licence fee to support our continuing activities," remarked Janet L. Robinson, President and Chief Executive Officer, of the prominent...
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Funny story: Priscilla Presley: Double Trouble

Priscilla Presley: Double Trouble

Washington DC (AP) - After leaving the Alexandria office of the Commissioner for Patents today, Priscilla Presley, President of Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc., announced that she is now the licensee and owner of a patent that discloses the invention...
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Funny story: The Terrorist, The Bomber and the BBC

The Terrorist, The Bomber and the BBC

LONDON (AP) - "Whether the London attacks were the work of a terrorist or a bomber is not the important thing", said BBC Director-General, Mark Thompson.
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Funny story: Bono Does Africa

Bono Does Africa

"It will be the visible hand of the State that will finally alleviate the curse of poverty from the blighted continent of Africa" , remarked Bono, the lead singer of Irish rock band U2. "I have been assured by Gordon Brown - with w...
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Funny story: New Labour Reloaded

New Labour Reloaded

After a number of false starts, and in order to be in "fighting shape" for the real contest that will take place on May 5, New Labour is understood to have patched up all of its remaining internal divisions. Refreshingly, it now seems c...
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Funny story: Blair commits to open and transparent government

Blair commits to open and transparent government

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair declared that, if re-elected, "a new breeze of openness and transparency will waft through all areas of his third term government."...
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Funny story: New York Times signs Ward Churchill

New York Times signs Ward Churchill

NEW YORK (AP) - Controversial academic Ward Churchill has been signed by the famous media company, The New York Times.
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Funny story: On the road to Victory

On the road to Victory

LONDON (AP) - "In a hard fought contest, it will be New Labour's natural ability to present a unified front, that will ensure us victory for a third time", said UK Prime Minister Tony Blair.
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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne to head United Nations

Ozzy Osbourne to head United Nations

UNITED NATIONS (AP) - The United Nations' chief of staff Mark Malloch Brown announced that significant changes, both cultural and structural, would soon take place at the scandal-ridden United Nations. Brown said, "the endemic corruption...
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Funny story: Brown Recommends New System for Britain

Brown Recommends New System for Britain

LONDON (AP) - Chancellor Gordon Brown has made it plain that he does not see Tony Blair's vision of "unremitting New Labour" as being "right" for a modern Britain.
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Funny story: Blair agrees to take lessons on leadership.

Blair agrees to take lessons on leadership.

In a frank admission of his need to do better, UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has agreed to go back to school, and take some lessons on leadership. Apparently, this was his own idea, and Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, had "no knowledg...
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Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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