Jack Benny should be rolling in his grave, not so much about the news that a rare 1945 Jack Benny plastic penny that he once owned just sold for 200 million dollars at auction, but more to the fact that rolling in one's grave is free.
The coin, th...
Diogenes spent his entire life walking the earth with a lantern searching for an honest man and a pair of matching socks. He found neither. Maybe he should have purchased an iPad and searched Wikileaks instead. Because it's there that the Center f...
Like a crazed lumberjack on a 10 day drunken spree holding a axe to a felled tree and threatening to chop off its branches if he doesn't get what he desires, the Republicans of the US Congress have told President Obama they will not only shut down th...
Under enormous pressure from billions of Americans who have been petitioning the White House to build Star Wars type Death Star to defend the world against reality TV, US President, Barack Obama finally caved in to the pressure by admitting that the...
In a dubious mishap, the president of the United States, Barack Obama, lost the first two trillion dollar coins that were minted at the US mint when he put them into a White House vending machine. Apparently, the president was given the coins a mont...
New Orleans, Louisiana vampire, Bobby Belfry, has lost all of his teeth due to the affects of advanced gingivitis. This happenstance has rendered Mr. Belfry bite-less, albeit, but not flightless.
For 8,656 years and 225 days, Mr. Belfry had been...
Hollywood has now been struck by a new ballyhoo. Dead people who have for decades been playing the dead extras in so many of Hollywood's blockbuster movies are demanding more diverse roles than that of playing a dead person.
This does bode well...
This sure isn't your two dads' or two moms' Sesame Street. The show has decided to start tackling tough subjects like divorce, pedophilia and how to properly water down your parent's liquor so they don't notice that you've been imbibing. And that i...
Detroit fans are calling it a conspiracy, the US Secret Service is calling it a free trick, both presidential candidates claim that third base is a disgruntled New York Yankees fan and everyone else, really wants to know if Big Bird will be on next s...
In a frenzy to find the body of Jimmy Hoffa, Americans have made a run on hardware stores stripping them clean of shovels, picks and jackhammers, as well as Christmas lights which had just gone on sale as of yesterday. The frenzy swept the nation af...
Sometime during the first Tuesday in November, Americans will be taking to the streets and demanding an Apple I-Phone 6, which is way better than voting for the next US President. The sad reality for the American people is that either way, someone w...
Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech...
There will be no more Boeing 747 airplane rides for Mexicans being repatriated back to Mexico for being caught along the Arizona border by the US Border Patrol anymore. These plane rides will be replaced by the more exciting and importantly cheap ca...
Airline Pilot Peter Paranoid has simply refused to land his Bombastic Airlines plane at the Newark, New Jersey Airport as ordered after authorities received a threat there was a bomb aboard the plane.
"Not Again! Oh my God! Not fucking again!"...
The white shark which had washed up dead on Southy And Kinda Westy Beach in Massachusetts was not just dead, but was a zombie shark and a loan shark as well as a writer for the reality show the Jersey Shore.
This was discovered after the foundin...
A Miami, Florida man smashed his car into an Einstein Brothers food stand on the second floor concourse of the Miami International Airport while parallel parking between a set of stationary tables. Fortunately there were no casualties except for the...
An Ithaca, New York man, Johnny Grit had been going through his deceased father's belongings to see if he could find any pictures of his dad, who was rumored to be a transvestite lumberjack, when he came across a box full of unscratched McDonald's sc...
Senator Yoda from the planet of Dog Bath has admitted to being drunk while skinny dipping in the Sea of Galilee a year ago while on a fact finding mission to find out if Israel has any other naked Yodas outside of himself. For the uniformed, the Sea...