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Funny story: US Congress Unanimously Passes 'Days of the Week' Bill

US Congress Unanimously Passes 'Days of the Week' Bill

In unparalleled precedence, the US Congress passed the dubious 'Days of the Week' bill by a unanimous vote, the first such occurrence in the short history of the 113th Do-Nothing Congress. So thrilled were all 535 members at the outcome, that they h...
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Funny story: Statue of World War II Hero Duck, Quentin Quackers, to Be Waddled into Duck Heritage Museum

Statue of World War II Hero Duck, Quentin Quackers, to Be Waddled into Duck Heritage Museum

It's been 68 years and a billion roasted ducks since World War II ended. Over that time span memories have faded, people have become jaded and copious culinary duck recipes have been created. Somewhere buried in the annals of history are the accomp...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Ummm Is Secretly Planning To Launch Newly Developed Fake Bomb At US

Kim Jong Ummm Is Secretly Planning To Launch Newly Developed Fake Bomb At US

Best Korea's Supreme Being, Kim Jong Ummm, hates American Idol. He hates American pie. He hates American Airlines. But more than anything else, he hates the fact that after 13 years, not once, NOT ONCE has he been invited to compete on Dancing with...
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Funny story: Eric Snowden Look Alike Gets Arrested For The 105th Time

Eric Snowden Look Alike Gets Arrested For The 105th Time

Milwaukie, Wisconsin native, Eric Schnowden, is like any other American citizen. He gets up in the morning, takes a shower, grabs a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowl out of his microwave, watches the morning news about the latest presidential scandal, gets...
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Funny story: Asteroid is Predicted to Hit the Earth

Asteroid is Predicted to Hit the Earth

A somber U.S. President, Barack Obama, interrupted America's Got Talent to deliver the fateful news to the American public concerning the impending impact of a football field sized asteroid. The asteroid is due to hit the earth next Wednesday evenin...
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Funny story: US Will Finally Arm Syrian Rebels, Kind Of, Sort Of

US Will Finally Arm Syrian Rebels, Kind Of, Sort Of

After months of wrangling over the consequences of arming the good Al Qaeda infiltrated Syrian Freedom fighters against the Evil-R-Us regime of Syrian President I-Kill-You Assad, US President Barack Obama has announced a compromise proposal in which...
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Funny story: Rare 1945 Jack Benny Plastic Penny Sells for Record 200 Million

Rare 1945 Jack Benny Plastic Penny Sells for Record 200 Million

Jack Benny should be rolling in his grave, not so much about the news that a rare 1945 Jack Benny plastic penny that he once owned just sold for 200 million dollars at auction, but more to the fact that rolling in one's grave is free. The coin, th...
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Funny story: Grand Theft Pony Violent Video led to Genghis Khan Murdering 40 Million

Grand Theft Pony Violent Video led to Genghis Khan Murdering 40 Million

Diogenes spent his entire life walking the earth with a lantern searching for an honest man and a pair of matching socks. He found neither. Maybe he should have purchased an iPad and searched Wikileaks instead. Because it's there that the Center f...
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Funny story: Republicans Threaten to Shut down the Government and Replace NFL Football with Shuffleboard

Republicans Threaten to Shut down the Government and Replace NFL Football with Shuffleboard

Like a crazed lumberjack on a 10 day drunken spree holding a axe to a felled tree and threatening to chop off its branches if he doesn't get what he desires, the Republicans of the US Congress have told President Obama they will not only shut down th...
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Funny story: White House Unveils That the US Has Manufactured a Working Fart Star in Space

White House Unveils That the US Has Manufactured a Working Fart Star in Space

Under enormous pressure from billions of Americans who have been petitioning the White House to build Star Wars type Death Star to defend the world against reality TV, US President, Barack Obama finally caved in to the pressure by admitting that the...
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Funny story: United State's First Two Trillion Dollar Coins End up in White House Vending Machine

United State's First Two Trillion Dollar Coins End up in White House Vending Machine

In a dubious mishap, the president of the United States, Barack Obama, lost the first two trillion dollar coins that were minted at the US mint when he put them into a White House vending machine. Apparently, the president was given the coins a mont...
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Funny story: Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

New Orleans, Louisiana vampire, Bobby Belfry, has lost all of his teeth due to the affects of advanced gingivitis. This happenstance has rendered Mr. Belfry bite-less, albeit, but not flightless. For 8,656 years and 225 days, Mr. Belfry had been...
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Funny story: Dead People Playing Dead Extras Demand More Diverse Roles

Dead People Playing Dead Extras Demand More Diverse Roles

Hollywood has now been struck by a new ballyhoo. Dead people who have for decades been playing the dead extras in so many of Hollywood's blockbuster movies are demanding more diverse roles than that of playing a dead person. This does bode well...
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Funny story: "Divorce" and "Why is that Guy's Hand up Elmo's Butt?" are new Sesame Street Subjects

"Divorce" and "Why is that Guy's Hand up Elmo's Butt?" are new Sesame Street Subjects

This sure isn't your two dads' or two moms' Sesame Street. The show has decided to start tackling tough subjects like divorce, pedophilia and how to properly water down your parent's liquor so they don't notice that you've been imbibing. And that i...
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Funny story: Third Base Conspires to Give Giants Game One in World Series

Third Base Conspires to Give Giants Game One in World Series

Detroit fans are calling it a conspiracy, the US Secret Service is calling it a free trick, both presidential candidates claim that third base is a disgruntled New York Yankees fan and everyone else, really wants to know if Big Bird will be on next s...
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Funny story: Find Jimmy Hoffa Craze Causing Shovel Shortage In America

Find Jimmy Hoffa Craze Causing Shovel Shortage In America

In a frenzy to find the body of Jimmy Hoffa, Americans have made a run on hardware stores stripping them clean of shovels, picks and jackhammers, as well as Christmas lights which had just gone on sale as of yesterday. The frenzy swept the nation af...
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Funny story: It's Election Time in the US

It's Election Time in the US

Sometime during the first Tuesday in November, Americans will be taking to the streets and demanding an Apple I-Phone 6, which is way better than voting for the next US President. The sad reality for the American people is that either way, someone w...
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Funny story: Al Qaeda Eliminates its Number 2 Position

Al Qaeda Eliminates its Number 2 Position

Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech...
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Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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