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Funny story: Local Man Gets The Hump

Local Man Gets The Hump

TITCHFIELD - UK - Local man Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he's really got the hump. According to sources he's apparently got the hump so badly that at one point he was considering the random use of exclamation marks. Apparently it all sta...
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Funny story: The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The dearth of news emanating from Martin and Anne Shuttlecock's locally based address recently has led to a great deal of speculation. Some observers assumed that the happily inept couple have gone into retirement, or at the very least, semi-retir...
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Funny story: Medium Left Distraught As Spirit Guide Materialises And Says: 'Leave Me Alone! Dickhead!'

Medium Left Distraught As Spirit Guide Materialises And Says: 'Leave Me Alone! Dickhead!'

Renowned spiritualist and pay per session medium, Carlos Decorum, revealed today that he was left in a distraught and extremely anxious state, following a seance at Carlisle's world renowned 'Cathedral Of The Dead Folk,' following an incident in whic...
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Funny story: Luis Suarez Not To Blame For Syrian Uprising - Liverpool Boss

Luis Suarez Not To Blame For Syrian Uprising - Liverpool Boss

Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was quick to jump to the defence of the Uruguayan striker at a press conference this lunchtime, ahead of the Merseyside derby, as a reporter accused Suarez of initiating the bloody Syrian uprising. "That's a prepost...
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Funny story: Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus

Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus

South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur Ali Bullo today announced that the menu item known as the 'Big Jimmy' is to be discontinued with immediate effect from all of his conveniently located kebab and burger vans. Market analysts speculat...
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Funny story: Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

A local man has threatened to respond to what he described as "the ultimate insult" by performing in a You Tube skit - impersonating his own brother. And making him look a right 'twat'. Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and pioneering satir...
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Funny story: In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, announced today that Felix Baumgartner wasn't the only man on the planet pushing himself to the limits of human endurance, as Shuttlecock himself became involved in pushing personal boundaries to the limit. As Felix...
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Funny story: Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today made the controversial assertion that Childline mouthpiece, Esther Rantzen, knows more than she's letting on about the Jimmy Savile paedophile allegations, before going on to say that she appears to be in denial a...
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Funny story: Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Scarborough Borough Council today issued a statement to the effect that the late Jimmy Savile's grave has recently "substantially subsided." The furore raised by recent allegations against the former BBC disc jockey and TV presenter has been parti...
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Funny story: Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company. Alert employees immediately called the emergency services...
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Funny story: Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

As if things aren't already bad enough in this septic isle, the devastating revelation that beleagured Britain faces an impending bacon shortage has left plucky Brits reeling. Bacon, a staple ingredient in the 'Full English' and a much heralded bu...
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Funny story: Full English Breakfast Not Really English - It's American

Full English Breakfast Not Really English - It's American

The controversial and widely refuted claim was made by US historian, Paul Garfunkel yesterday. A history don at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Garfunkel claims that the 'traditional' full English breakfast as we know it today, was actuall...
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Funny story: Megan Stammers Working Herself Up For A Full On Tantrum

Megan Stammers Working Herself Up For A Full On Tantrum

Grave concerns are being expressed by family and friends of Megan Stammers that a tearful reunion with her parents, Tracy and Martin, her stepfather, seems highly unlikely. Those closest to 15 year old schoolgirl Megan - who eloped with her marrie...
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Funny story: Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather

Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather

Those plucky Brits have been warned this week to batten down the hatches and prepare themselves for prolonged outbreaks of mild weather. Forecasters predict that the skies will probably be grey, and that gentle breezes will probably blow sporadic...
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Funny story: Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Notorious shed refugee, Martin Shuttlecock, who traditionally cuts and runs when the going gets tough, has apparently fled to the sanctuary of his garden shed again - for only the 345th time this year, after being mauled by way of a change by well in...
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Funny story: Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Following a much hyped probable negative reaction by Manchester United supporters against their Liverpool counterparts, over a tribute to the fallen 96 of Hillsborough, the media were left with nothing to report, as the Manchester United fan continge...
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Funny story: "Can You Smell Shit In Here?" Tuvalu Kate Asks William At Website Office

"Can You Smell Shit In Here?" Tuvalu Kate Asks William At Website Office

In an aside from legal wrangles in La Belle France, relating to a certain 'invasive photographic' orgy of unnecessary and quite pointless overexposure, which of course was lapped up by the French, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been getting a...
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Funny story: Manchester United Fans "Can't Promise" To Be On Best Behaviour At Anfield

Manchester United Fans "Can't Promise" To Be On Best Behaviour At Anfield

At a press conference at Salford Lads Club today, a group of Manchester United supporters refused to promise to be on their best behaviour at Anfield, as Sunday's clash between the bitter rivals looms ever closer. The rebuff comes amid press conce...
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Showing page 1 (of 173 pages)
Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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