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President Obama To Smite Terrorists And Bill O'Really With Golf Clubs

Funny story: President Obama To Smite Terrorists And Bill O'Really With Golf Clubs

In response to mounting criticism both at home and abroad President Obama told White House staffers this morning that he fully intends to do a full Samuel L Jackson on terrorism 'in any shape or form, any place in the world' - including Faux News's B...

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Local Man Had Great Story Idea Then Forgot What It Was

Funny story: Local Man Had Great Story Idea Then Forgot What It Was

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock informed us this morning that he had a great idea for a story last night, then promptly forgot what it was and spent the remainder of yesterday evening repeatedly punching himself in the face until bed time. "I was wa...

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Local Man Gets The Hump

Funny story: Local Man Gets The Hump

TITCHFIELD - UK - Local man Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he's really got the hump. According to sources he's apparently got the hump so badly that at one point he was considering the random use of exclamation marks. Apparently it all sta...

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The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

Funny story: The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The dearth of news emanating from Martin and Anne Shuttlecock's locally based address recently has led to a great deal of speculation. Some observers assumed that the happily inept couple have gone into retirement, or at the very least, semi-retir...

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Medium Left Distraught As Spirit Guide Materialises And Says: 'Leave Me Alone! Dickhead!'

Funny story: Medium Left Distraught As Spirit Guide Materialises And Says: 'Leave Me Alone! Dickhead!'

Renowned spiritualist and pay per session medium, Carlos Decorum, revealed today that he was left in a distraught and extremely anxious state, following a seance at Carlisle's world renowned 'Cathedral Of The Dead Folk,' following an incident in whic...

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Luis Suarez Not To Blame For Syrian Uprising - Liverpool Boss

Funny story: Luis Suarez Not To Blame For Syrian Uprising - Liverpool Boss

Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was quick to jump to the defence of the Uruguayan striker at a press conference this lunchtime, ahead of the Merseyside derby, as a reporter accused Suarez of initiating the bloody Syrian uprising. "That's a prepost...

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Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus

Funny story: Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus

South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur Ali Bullo today announced that the menu item known as the 'Big Jimmy' is to be discontinued with immediate effect from all of his conveniently located kebab and burger vans. Market analysts speculat...

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Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

Funny story: Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

A local man has threatened to respond to what he described as "the ultimate insult" by performing in a You Tube skit - impersonating his own brother. And making him look a right 'twat'. Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and pioneering satir...

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In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Funny story: In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, announced today that Felix Baumgartner wasn't the only man on the planet pushing himself to the limits of human endurance, as Shuttlecock himself became involved in pushing personal boundaries to the limit. As Felix...

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Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Funny story: Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today made the controversial assertion that Childline mouthpiece, Esther Rantzen, knows more than she's letting on about the Jimmy Savile paedophile allegations, before going on to say that she appears to be in denial a...

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Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Funny story: Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Scarborough Borough Council today issued a statement to the effect that the late Jimmy Savile's grave has recently "substantially subsided." The furore raised by recent allegations against the former BBC disc jockey and TV presenter has been parti...

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Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

Funny story: Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company. Alert employees immediately called the emergency services...

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Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

Funny story: Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

As if things aren't already bad enough in this septic isle, the devastating revelation that beleagured Britain faces an impending bacon shortage has left plucky Brits reeling. Bacon, a staple ingredient in the 'Full English' and a much heralded bu...

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Full English Breakfast Not Really English - It's American

Funny story: Full English Breakfast Not Really English - It's American

The controversial and widely refuted claim was made by US historian, Paul Garfunkel yesterday. A history don at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Garfunkel claims that the 'traditional' full English breakfast as we know it today, was actuall...

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Megan Stammers Working Herself Up For A Full On Tantrum

Funny story: Megan Stammers Working Herself Up For A Full On Tantrum

Grave concerns are being expressed by family and friends of Megan Stammers that a tearful reunion with her parents, Tracy and Martin, her stepfather, seems highly unlikely. Those closest to 15 year old schoolgirl Megan - who eloped with her marrie...

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Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather

Funny story: Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather

Those plucky Brits have been warned this week to batten down the hatches and prepare themselves for prolonged outbreaks of mild weather. Forecasters predict that the skies will probably be grey, and that gentle breezes will probably blow sporadic...

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Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Funny story: Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Notorious shed refugee, Martin Shuttlecock, who traditionally cuts and runs when the going gets tough, has apparently fled to the sanctuary of his garden shed again - for only the 345th time this year, after being mauled by way of a change by well in...

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Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Funny story: Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Following a much hyped probable negative reaction by Manchester United supporters against their Liverpool counterparts, over a tribute to the fallen 96 of Hillsborough, the media were left with nothing to report, as the Manchester United fan continge...

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