Lawyers for a lobster who waded ashore to celebrate his 140th birthday on Canada's Newfoundland coastline have secured his release from the confines of a tank at a New York restaurant.
Lonnie the giant lobster, weighing 9kg (20lb), was caught by...
Enthusiasts from the UFO organisation 12th Planet are claiming the massive damage to a Smegmashire wind farm turbine was caused by a mystery alien spacecraft from the planet Nibiru.
The turbine at Doggers Clough lost one 66ft (20m) blade and anot...
Outgoing US Secretary of State Condo-sleezza Rice landed at Rockall International Airport yesterday amid tight security on the final leg of her round the world brown-nosing / say sorry tour, which has received acerbic criticism as being heavy on phot...
Pratts District Council wants to clean up its highway designations, hence road and street names with rude connotations could soon be banned around Sussex to avoid "deliberate misinterpretation".
But throughout England streets with names like 'Grop...
International critics today slated the Israeli-Palestinian Truce as being more at Scent than Substance.
Israel has agreed on 'the principles' of a ceasefire proposal, raising hopes for the Palestinian militants in Gaza of a chance to fully rearm t...
January kicks off 2009 with a few depressing issues. Remember that clot Gore and the global warming fiasco of last year? (we're all gonna sweat to death or drown due the melting icecaps)
Remember the savings made by not having to fork out for ant...
Dr. Sigmund Scrunt, Head of Pathology at the NHS-affiliated PFI company Organs-R-Us, says more people need to donate their brains to medical research if cures for diseases like Athlete's Foot and Galloping Dandruff are to be found.
Dr. Scrunt exp...
The BBC is to replace a doll based on the Slutsy Mutsy character from the Topsy-Turvey TV show 'Up yer Garden Path' following complaints it is too light-skinned, or as one irate West Indian caller aptly phrased it: 'Jest too Honky'.
A BBC Openwid...
Attacks on oil industry facilities and kidnappings for ransom of foreign oil workers are frequent in the festering creeks of the Niger Delta, which is home to Africa's biggest oil and gas industry, and 419 e-mail scams.
The Washington Shitraker's...
People who drop litter in a London borough, or commit unsociable acts, could be filmed by a special council team and face £80 fines or an on-the-spot rogering by their PFI-contracted squads of puffy hi-viz environmental community service snitches.
Throughout recorded history, whenever someone's won a war or where there's been an economic boom and a brief period of fickle confidence, or a major pick up on a National Lottery roll-over, there have been tall pointless structures erected to mark su...
The Czech Republic marked the start of its six-month term of the European Union presidency on January 1st 2009 with its deputy Prime Minister in charge of EU affairs, Alexander Armadildo, announcing he intends to enforce a prohibition on professional...
Cynics worldwide are predicting 2009 will be the barmiest year in recorded history to date, and there may well be some accuracy to their claim as even leaders of the Church of Perpetual Optimism are agreeing with them.
Professor Theobald Headbange...
The RSPCA has said it's looking at claims Prince Edward may have struck a pair of beaters with his official scrote-whacking stick on the Queen's Sandringham estate in Norfolk over the Christmas holiday period.
The investigation started after comp...
Online auction website eBay is experiencing a post-Christmas business bonanza with people getting shut of unwanted Xmas gifts and other useless seasonal tat.
However, all that glitters is not gold and many items are drawing no serious tenders. Suc...
A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...
A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in the northern Swedish town of Bonkers has been burned down - yet again.
The 50 foot high animal has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been ram-raided with a sleigh, b...
America's CIA has found a novel way to expand its business dealings with their fickle stable of aging despotic Afghan warlords - ensuring they receive copious supplies of the sex-enhancing drug Viagra to boost their flagging virility, according to a...