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Centenarian Lobster Freed by Popular Vote

Funny story: Centenarian Lobster Freed by Popular Vote

Lawyers for a lobster who waded ashore to celebrate his 140th birthday on Canada's Newfoundland coastline have secured his release from the confines of a tank at a New York restaurant. Lonnie the giant lobster, weighing 9kg (20lb), was caught by...

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UFO Attacks X-Files Wind Farm

Funny story: UFO Attacks X-Files Wind Farm

Enthusiasts from the UFO organisation 12th Planet are claiming the massive damage to a Smegmashire wind farm turbine was caused by a mystery alien spacecraft from the planet Nibiru. The turbine at Doggers Clough lost one 66ft (20m) blade and anot...

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Rice's "Say Sorry" Visit Sparks Protests

Funny story: Rice's "Say Sorry" Visit Sparks Protests

Outgoing US Secretary of State Condo-sleezza Rice landed at Rockall International Airport yesterday amid tight security on the final leg of her round the world brown-nosing / say sorry tour, which has received acerbic criticism as being heavy on phot...

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Rude English Street Names to Go

Funny story: Rude English Street Names to Go

Pratts District Council wants to clean up its highway designations, hence road and street names with rude connotations could soon be banned around Sussex to avoid "deliberate misinterpretation". But throughout England streets with names like 'Grop...

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The Circus Without a Tent

Funny story: The Circus Without a Tent

International critics today slated the Israeli-Palestinian Truce as being more at Scent than Substance. Israel has agreed on 'the principles' of a ceasefire proposal, raising hopes for the Palestinian militants in Gaza of a chance to fully rearm t...

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Five Ways to Slay the Beast of 2009

Funny story: Five Ways to Slay the Beast of 2009

January kicks off 2009 with a few depressing issues. Remember that clot Gore and the global warming fiasco of last year? (we're all gonna sweat to death or drown due the melting icecaps) Remember the savings made by not having to fork out for ant...

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UK Appeal for Brain Donors! Que?

Funny story: UK Appeal for Brain Donors! Que?

Dr. Sigmund Scrunt, Head of Pathology at the NHS-affiliated PFI company Organs-R-Us, says more people need to donate their brains to medical research if cures for diseases like Athlete's Foot and Galloping Dandruff are to be found. Dr. Scrunt exp...

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BBC acts over Light-Skinned Doll

Funny story: BBC acts over Light-Skinned Doll

The BBC is to replace a doll based on the Slutsy Mutsy character from the Topsy-Turvey TV show 'Up yer Garden Path' following complaints it is too light-skinned, or as one irate West Indian caller aptly phrased it: 'Jest too Honky'. A BBC Openwid...

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Nigeria's Black Gold Curse

Funny story: Nigeria's Black Gold Curse

Attacks on oil industry facilities and kidnappings for ransom of foreign oil workers are frequent in the festering creeks of the Niger Delta, which is home to Africa's biggest oil and gas industry, and 419 e-mail scams. The Washington Shitraker's...

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Litterbug Video Up for Cannes Film Festival Award

Funny story: Litterbug Video Up for Cannes Film Festival Award

People who drop litter in a London borough, or commit unsociable acts, could be filmed by a special council team and face £80 fines or an on-the-spot rogering by their PFI-contracted squads of puffy hi-viz environmental community service snitches.

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World's Tallest Building Wins World Record

Funny story: World's Tallest Building Wins World Record

Throughout recorded history, whenever someone's won a war or where there's been an economic boom and a brief period of fickle confidence, or a major pick up on a National Lottery roll-over, there have been tall pointless structures erected to mark su...

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EU President to Ban Soccer in Europe

Funny story: EU President to Ban Soccer in Europe

The Czech Republic marked the start of its six-month term of the European Union presidency on January 1st 2009 with its deputy Prime Minister in charge of EU affairs, Alexander Armadildo, announcing he intends to enforce a prohibition on professional...

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Cynics Predict 2009 as Totally Bonkers Year

Funny story: Cynics Predict 2009 as Totally Bonkers Year

Cynics worldwide are predicting 2009 will be the barmiest year in recorded history to date, and there may well be some accuracy to their claim as even leaders of the Church of Perpetual Optimism are agreeing with them. Professor Theobald Headbange...

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Prince Edward Demonstrates the Royal Prerogative

Funny story: Prince Edward Demonstrates the Royal Prerogative

The RSPCA has said it's looking at claims Prince Edward may have struck a pair of beaters with his official scrote-whacking stick on the Queen's Sandringham estate in Norfolk over the Christmas holiday period. The investigation started after comp...

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eBay Auctions Bonanza for Unwanted Xmas Gifts

Funny story: eBay Auctions Bonanza for Unwanted Xmas Gifts

Online auction website eBay is experiencing a post-Christmas business bonanza with people getting shut of unwanted Xmas gifts and other useless seasonal tat. However, all that glitters is not gold and many items are drawing no serious tenders. Suc...

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Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

Funny story: Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...

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Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

Funny story: Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in the northern Swedish town of Bonkers has been burned down - yet again. The 50 foot high animal has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been ram-raided with a sleigh, b...

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Afghan Warlords Captivated by Viagra Falls

Funny story: Afghan Warlords Captivated by Viagra Falls

America's CIA has found a novel way to expand its business dealings with their fickle stable of aging despotic Afghan warlords - ensuring they receive copious supplies of the sex-enhancing drug Viagra to boost their flagging virility, according to a...

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Breaking news…

The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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