The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going… Now she's for...
Indiana University professor Dr. Jack Roy Smithton is probably the most arrogant prick on campus. The snobby bastard has been known to glorify himself in lectures, speaking of himself as a so-called "expert" on any number of topics. He never fails to...
Bloomington resident Jethro "shot glass" Purvis used to drink a bottle of whiskey every morning at six, followed by a peaceful drive in his green and rust colored '89 Oldsmobile. Most of his drives were in rural areas at a slow speed.
Now he can o...
It appears the recent surge in gas prices have not only diminished people's checking accounts, but their personalities as well. People are increasingly becoming more selfish with their money, and in particular, their cars.
My best friend of 10 yea...
The Monroe County Blood Bucket Facility was robbed last night by a pale-skinned vampire just after midnight. The nocturnal thief stole every single container of Type A blood, leading authorities to believe the bloodsucker is in fact Type A himself. I...
Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive nominee for president, has been found to be satanic by a research group.
The independent research group, "Republicans for Rule of the World," said that based on their evidence, Obama is satanic becaus...
The recent spikes in gas prices have hurt everyone from small businesses to nine-to-fivers in terms of transportation.
While gas prices haven't hurt convicted arsonist Tim Harris' mobility, he has been affected in other ways.
"Sadly, I just can...
The 71-year-old Senator says he's sick of waiting on Obama and Clinton.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them
Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs
Jake Tapper's Plastic Surgery
United Airlines Sends Dog To Japan
Trump Blames Global Warming on Violent Video Games
Scores of Porn Stars Contact Trump's Lawyer for Payouts
Trump Excludes Golf Clubs from Steel and Aluminum Tariffs
In Retaliation for Putin's and Kim Jong Un's Videos, Trump Makes His Own Video
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