(La La Land, CA) - As expected, Will Smith's hanCock was enormous over the 4th of July weekend, yanking off $107 million from the box office in North America since its Wednesday debut. Pixar's previously priapic WALL...
(Hades) - Speaking from the crimson colored steps of the newly erected stone edifice that is Hell's Ronald Reagan Theater, Our Great Lord Lucifer at long last welcomed the newest member of his cabinet, former United States Senator Jesse Helms (Fa...
(La La Land, CA) - Trying to prove he's still got the biggest firecracker in Hollywood, Will Smith's summer tent pole, hanCock, will throw down with Pixar's giant WALL-E in American theaters over the 4th...
(Durham, NC) - Leading scientists in the field of Non-Newtonian Non-Sense Gobbledygook reported today that Harry Potter's invisibility cloak may be right around the corner, with one researcher at Duke University going so far as to say that
(La La Land, CA) - By turning on both children and adults, WALL-E sucked up nearly $63 million at the North American box office this past weekend. Telling the story of the last working sex toy/vacuum cleaner left on a barren and ref...
(Washington, DC) - President Bush today said that he was watching the election in Zimbabwe "very closely," and hoped to pick up more reelection tips as the process continued. Referring to the current president of the African nation alterna...
(La La Land, CA) - Normally sex and animation don't mix. But with the success of the Jack Black bestiality and violence cartoon Kung Fu Panda paving the way, Pixar heads back into theaters this week with WALL-E,...
(Raliegh, NC) - Thanks to some sharp eyed grandchildren and one overly sensitive grandparent, the North Carolina DMV has decided to replace for free any license plate containing the letter combination "WTF." Told of this potentially $400,0...
(La La Land, CA) - In what he felt was his funniest anti-establishment joke of all time, George Carlin died yesterday.
(La La Land, CA) - Proving that it takes more than bad wigs and 400 dick jokes to lure an audience, Mike Myers return to the big screen with The Love Guru barely drew enough people to fill a medium sized Ashram. Steve Carell's
(Tunbridge Wells, England) - The Tunbridge Wells Borough Council has finally provided proof to the world that too much time on your hands will drive you completely batty. In a memo sent to city workers, the council has instructed all employees to us...
(London, England) - The British Borders Agency, saying only that "we continue to oppose the entry to the UK of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public," today banned style guru and st...
(The North Pole, Mars) - In one of the most important scientific discoveries of the last 100 days (at least), the Mars Lander, currently making sand castles in the sand of the polar region of the fourth rock from the sun, has located deposits of ice...
(Jackson, Miss.) - Television star and slut extraordinaire Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth today in a mud hollow in Jackson, Mississippi. Within ten minutes the baby girl was pronounced healthy and also pregnant.
(La La Land, CA) - Originality is under attack this weekend at the box office, as Get Smart and The Love Guru, both opening wider than Oprah's vagina, recycle themes, jokes, and characters we have all seen many,...
(Cedar Rapids, Iowa) - With the water finally receding from a downtown area hit hard by flooding caused by a broken levee, most citizens of Cedar Rapids today expressed confidence that the Bush Administration would not ignore their plight the way the...
(La La Land, CA) - Riding a wave of green steroids and martial arts mojo, The Incredible Hulk and Kung Fu Panda smashed M. Night Shyamalana-Ding-Dong's new film, The Happening, at the box office...
(London, England) - Caught frolicking naked on her college grounds, Britain's Princess Eugenie says she did it to connect with commoners and to "show off my naughty bits, of which I am quite proud."...