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Slimy Siren Has Traded Her Tongue In On A Nun Habit

Funny story: Slimy Siren Has Traded Her Tongue In On A Nun Habit

After years of playing the stupid little girl Horny Montoona for the demonic Dismal Network, and then overnight turning into a pornographic female version of Krampus the Christmas Demon and "twerking" up a tempest on stage for a few months, (Twerking...

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Penis of Hillary Clinton Goes On World Tour

Funny story: Penis of Hillary Clinton Goes On World Tour

Hillary Clinton decided that if she isn't going to win the Presidency (Dictatorship) of the USA she will cut off "little Hill" and send it around the world on tour.

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Airports To Be Built On Border To Keep Out Terrorists

Funny story: Airports To Be Built On Border To Keep Out Terrorists

Finally a solution to stop the "TERRIS" crisis plaguing the United States. According to the guy that lives behind the rubbish bins, out back down the pub, Headsonpikes Inc. is running a contest offering a free trip to an underground, nucle...

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Vomit Used To Feed The World

Funny story: Vomit Used To Feed The World

To help the worldwide food crisis brought on by President Bush, hundreds of barrels of manatee vomit made into loaves were shipped in to the hideously disgusting African port of Ngumbobzuti Zhambouti on cargo ships this week.

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Shut It Down Screams Ramsay At Food Crisis Meeting

Funny story: Shut It Down Screams Ramsay At Food Crisis Meeting

"You can't even make a risotto?" Gordon Ramsey shouts at the UN Food Crisis Management Meeting today. "Shut it down, shut the kitchen down."...

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Most Dangersous Job - Mime

Funny story: Most Dangersous Job - Mime

Scientists and loafers, slackers, and losers at the Invisible Box University have determined that the most dangerous job in the world is a mime. A mime is more than 25 times more likely to die on the job than a crab fisherman or a test pilot. It...

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Traffic Cameras Too Expensive Let Peeping Ted Do It

Funny story: Traffic Cameras Too Expensive Let Peeping Ted Do It

Expert economics professor Elmereesha Eelsniffer at Stanford University in California just finished a study. So says a flying chimp that nearly broke the windshield of my car on the way into OZ today. The study was an economical feasibility study to...

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1 Million School Children Missing

Funny story: 1 Million School Children Missing

The entire Bush Mob and staff left town today and began gathering up all the children in the United States.

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Lethal Injection Declared A Party Drug In Florida

Funny story: Lethal Injection Declared A Party Drug In Florida

Snug Harbor, FL - Thousands of senior citizens, elderly folks, old farts, and just plain "Age-Challenged" are coming back to their nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and their houses wasted off their asses and then dying - according...

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Starving People Won't Eat Dead Babies

Funny story: Starving People Won't Eat Dead Babies

Democratic Republic of The Congo - Children affected by war in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo face starvation, says the UN food agency.

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Clinton's Plane Ditches Uses Pantsuit To Save Everyone

Funny story: Clinton's Plane Ditches Uses Pantsuit To Save Everyone

A plane carrying Hillary Clinton just ditched in the Atlantic Ocean this evening on the way back to New York from Indianapolis Indiana according to an invisible man in my garage who sits on a flaming rope.

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Giant Talking Penis To Be Circumsised In NY

Funny story: Giant Talking Penis To Be Circumsised In NY

A giant talking penis is making comments wherever it goes and getting on the news right and left and some people are calling for it to finally be circumcised once and for all.

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Move To Florida And Be Obnoxious Diet

Funny story: Move To Florida And Be Obnoxious Diet

Health experts in New York and Florida have discovered what makes people who move to Florida just as obnoxious as they were up in New York. One would think they would move down here and retire and have nothing to do but enjoy retirement and the nice...

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You Will Die Now For Praying While Driving

Funny story: You Will Die Now For Praying While Driving

Keeping the church (you praying) and the state (state highways) separate is the reason for the season.

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Death For Wearing Hats at Airports

Funny story: Death For Wearing Hats at Airports

In order to make the country safer, U.S. Vice President Dick Chain and a few of his comrades from the orifices of Der Homeland Security are now handing out death sentences for all people at airports wearing hats.

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Stupid Named Kids Banned By US Education Pundits

Funny story: Stupid Named Kids Banned By US Education Pundits

Lobbyists from the U.S. National Edumacation System finally got the Federal Government to pass another unconstitutional pea-brained law. This one is supposed to help stupid teachers keep from being embarrassed when trying to prounounce some of the ri...

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Internet Creating Usless Stupid Kids Tomorrow's Leaders

Funny story: Internet Creating Usless Stupid Kids Tomorrow's Leaders

Iliterrate teachers at the Untied States Teacher's Convection yesterday determined somehow that kids are stupider than they are.

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John McCain Misspeaks About More Lies

Funny story: John McCain Misspeaks About More Lies

Presidential Candidate John Q. McCain said he never said anything about getting rid of Texas. He restated he was trying to say we will have no more taxes. He blames the media for getting his words wrong and insists that he didn't "misspeak&q...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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