Professor Jacqueline Toujours, Dean of the School of Sports Medicine and Automobile Repair at Toulouse, France has issued a press release declaring that jockstraps in male athletes impede fertility and contribute to the phenomenon of "ball drop" in l...
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis.
The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican S...
According to confidential sources within the Vatican Curia, Pope Francis has served an eviction notice on Pope Emeritus Benedict. The former pope has one week from Easter Sunday to vacate Castel Gandolfo or answer to the Italian courts.
The act...
In the wake of Hugo Chavez' wake, elements of North Korea's crack "Stealth Invasion Force" or SIF has established a beachhead on the Venezuelan coast outside of the capital city, Caracas.
It is estimated that approximately 700 SIF combatants have...
The White House has announced this evening that Ambassador-At-Large Dennis Rodman will represent President Obama at Hugo Chavez' funeral.
It is rumored that Chavez was a huge admirer of the basketball diplomat and that his last words were, "Denn...
Dennis Rodman and Kim Jung Un have decided to offer themselves up to President Barack Obama as the best way to facilitate a detente between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress.
According to a Pyong Penh media report, the basketball near-grea...
Specimens of the Duchess of Cambridge's (formerly Kate Middleton) vomitus have been smuggled out of hospital and are now finding their way onto the eBay auction website.
Princess Catharine has been recently hospitalised due to extreme hyperemesi...
Law enforcement has finally identified the anonymous canine that was involved in the bizarre bestiality-homicide case that has rocked the underpinnings of British high society.
It was only a few short weeks ago that Scotland Yard arrested the proc...
Yale Professor of Ancient Religions, Salvatore Crocifisso, disputes the translation of the newly-discovered Coptic text claiming that Jesus had a wife. The professor made his announcement yesterday at the Yale University's Student Union and Car Wash...
In Stockholm, Sweden, the Committee of Five has unanimously voted to award the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize to Pussy Riot. The Russian All-Girl Singing Troika has recently been condemned to two years hard labor in a Russian gulag for uttering blasphemous...
Just as quickly as it was announced that Paul Ryan was to be the Republican choice for Vice-President, he announced that it was his sad duty to withdraw his selection.
About ten minutes after both Romney and Ryan spoke in front of the USS Wisconsi...
Dozens of New York City hospitals are instructing mothers of newborns about the myriad benefits of breast milk and to urge them to breast-feed their infants instead of resorting to substandard formulas. "Not only is it healthier than commercial alte...
The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that it has filed a lawsuit against the FDA for discriminatory practices against a growing minority group in the USA.
Acording to the lawsuit filed in Federal court, the FDA has illegally mandated...
Mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced that henceforth New York City will no longer be nicknamed, "The Big Apple."
At his noon news conference, Hizzoner unloaded this latest bombshell to the unsuspecting news services.
"A 'Big Apple' suggests...
In his never-ending assault on obesity, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg has ruled that as of July 1, 2012, restaurants in the five boroughs will now serve all foods on plates no larger than five inches in diameter.
The Mayor, in yesterday's news confe...
Archaeologists have discovered that an ancient Peruvian tribe living along the Pacific coast was munching on popcorn thousands of years ago.
The discovery was made last Thursday by Sir Percival Blick of the British Museum when he raped and pillage...
Italian authorities have discovered the last two survivors from the ill-fated cruise ship, Cazzo D'Oro, that crashed into a sandbar off the Venetian coast two weeks ago. The world had been eagerly awaiting news on the fate of the last two unaccounte...
In response to Kim Jong Un's sudden surge in the Iowa Causus polls, Michele Bachmann has come out swinging against the North Korean.
"I don't believe than Mr. Un will make a good Republican presidential candidate," she declared at her daily noon...