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Secret language of Presidents and other leaders analysed

Funny story: Secret language of Presidents and other leaders analysed

Researchers in San Diego have been studying what they described as 'the secret language of Presidents', by using a new machine to monitor words said by Presidents that other human beings can't hear. The current President's cheesy grin and corny mixtu...

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99% of Brits don't know who Cheryl Cole is either

Funny story: 99% of Brits don't know who Cheryl Cole is either

As well as most Americans never having heard of Cheryl Cole, whoever she is, it turned out that 99% of British people didn't know who she is either - except for the usual celebrity-obsessed kiddies that read The Daily Star and think parts of the body...

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Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Funny story: Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Roman Polanski has won the Silver Swastika for best director at the Berlin Film Festival for his new film 'The Ghost Perver'. Polanski could not accept the award as he is under house arrest and fighting extradition to the USA over a conviction of...

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Archbishop Tutu in Gnome Health Study

Funny story: Archbishop Tutu in Gnome Health Study

Scientists have analysed the gnomes of five South Africans, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, to study their genetic diversity and health. The study, published in the magazine Fishing Rod, compared the genes of the Archbishop's garden gnomes with...

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Sharon Stone speaks out again about earthquakes - this time the one in Haiti

Funny story: Sharon Stone speaks out again about earthquakes - this time the one in Haiti

Hollywood actress Sharon Stone, once famous for being tall and blonde and tall and blonde and firing blanks from fake guns in movies, but now the world's leading climatologist and expert on seismic tremors and tectonic plates, today made a long-await...

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Another Controversial Answer to the Meaning of Life Discovered

Funny story: Another Controversial Answer to the Meaning of Life Discovered

Following news here that an Englishman in the Black Country had claimed to have discovered the meaning of life in a dictionary, a claim now disproved by the American Society of Simpleology but believed by most Americans as ABC News said it was true,...

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'Self-Publicists Make Your Ears Hurt' reaches Number One

Funny story: 'Self-Publicists Make Your Ears Hurt' reaches Number One

'Self-Publicists Make Your Ears Hurt', the song recorded to help feeble B-list faded pop stars to publicise themselves to help the tragedy that is their careers, today went straight to Number One after its organiser Simon Lithpfool went round to his...

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Nazi Party meets in Nuremberg to vote on membership changes

Funny story: Nazi Party meets in Nuremberg to vote on membership changes

The National Socialist Democratic Workers' Party - the 'Nazis' - today held an extraordinarily silly meeting in Nuremberg for members of it to vote on amending its rules to allow Jews, Communists, Socialists, Trade Unionists, blacks, Asians, Romanies...

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Prince Andrew allegedly 'struck gold' near Buckingham Palace

Funny story: Prince Andrew allegedly 'struck gold' near Buckingham Palace

Detectives are investigating an incident in which Prince Andrew allegedly struck gold while driving into Buckingham Palace yesterday. The Grand Old Duke of Yorkie Bar reportedly made the strike as a policeman held him up at the Palace gates to gro...

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Bad Outbreak of Delhi Belly in London

Funny story: Bad Outbreak of Delhi Belly in London

A bad outbreak of dissentary mixed up with e-coli and alexsalmonella happened today in West London, and health and safety officials quickly traced it to The Bengal Lancer restaurant in Southall. The illness - nicknamed 'Delhi belly' due to the unp...

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Kraft issue an apology over American-English mistranslation

Funny story: Kraft issue an apology over American-English mistranslation

Kraft issued an apology today over a statement made last week about the Cadbury factory in Keynsham, near Bristol. 'When we said last week that we were going to keep that factory open' said spokesman Cheesy McCheese, 'we used American English, of...

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What Katie Didn't Do Next

Plastic-chested Katie Lowprice, a silly English girl who is only famous for having a ridiculous plastic chest that isn't even the right shape, was on UK TV again today in the programme 'What Katie Didn't Do Next'. Misty Price, loved by certain gi...

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'Escape From Newcastle-Upon-Tyne' starring Kurt Russell premieres today

Funny story: 'Escape From Newcastle-Upon-Tyne' starring Kurt Russell premieres today

As the annual tedious Oscar ceremonies rapidly approached this month, 'Escape From Newcastle-Upon-Tyne' was released today to be a last-minute candidate for a Goldyawn Globe award. Directed by John Tarantino Coppola the action begins as Kurt Russe...

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Dementia 'losing out' in UK funding stakes

Funny story: Dementia 'losing out' in UK funding stakes

The Alzheimer's Research Trust today said that dementia research was 'losing out' in the UK to other charities. Their spokeswoman Artie Artfast said: 'Research into dementia simply doesn't get the funds that other groups get. It simply doesn't get th...

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Obama cancels Moon project as 'it's ridiculous and scientifically impossible'

Funny story: Obama cancels Moon project as 'it's ridiculous and scientifically impossible'

US President Barack Obama today cancelled the waste of time project to send humans to the Moon for the first time, as 'it's ridiculous and scientifically impossible'. In 1969 a ridiculous fake Moon landing was acted out by ham actors and obvious manu...

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'Nobodies Hurt Our Ears' Haiti relief single to be inflicted on the public

Funny story: 'Nobodies Hurt Our Ears' Haiti relief single to be inflicted on the public

Lots of talentless nobodies that rely on the media to be famous and to sell their 'music' to the public today announced they were going to inflict a version of the REM song 'Nobodies Hurt Our Ears' on the public in aid of their own self-publicity. Th...

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Earthquake Hits Airdrie

Funny story: Earthquake Hits Airdrie

Following news here that the English town of Basildon is to be used as a nuclear testing site, the Scottish town of Airdrie also became the victim of mass destruction and damage when an earthquake struck it today. Measuring 1.2 on the Teuchter Sca...

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UK Pandering To US About Nonsensical Terror Threat Level Raised To 'A Bit Higher' To Get On American News

Funny story: UK Pandering To US About Nonsensical Terror Threat Level Raised To 'A Bit Higher' To Get On American News

The UK's press pandering to the US and talking about ridiculous terror threat levels' levels today went up to 'a bit higher', so that children's television programmes like CNN and ABC could get all their viewers hiding behind their chairs when the ne...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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