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BA herald dawn of new era in baggage losing

Funny story: BA herald dawn of new era in baggage losing

BA and airport partners BAA have hailed the success of their latest baggage losing technology in Terminal 5 at Heathrow today.

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Sarkozy - Britain and France have "never been so close"

Funny story: Sarkozy - Britain and France have "never been so close"

In the first speech of his state visit President Sarkozy has heaped warm praise on Britain. Praising Britain's courage, dynamism and strength he urged both countries to "overcome our long-standing rivalries and build together a future that w...

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Pig ignorance to be allowed on UK aircraft in the EU

Funny story: Pig ignorance to be allowed on UK aircraft in the EU

Rude self obsessed annoying people are to be allowed to annoy the hell out of fellow passengers on aircraft in the EU under new rules announced today. In a move welcomed by arrogant gits with no regard for others the ignorant will no longer be confi...

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Top Liverpool cop hits out at judges lenient sentancing for firearms offences

Funny story: Top Liverpool cop hits out at judges lenient sentancing for firearms offences

A Merseyside Chief Constable has hit out at lenient sentencing of gun offenders by judges. Highlighting the often light sentences handed out to gun toting criminals, he explained "Take for example the case of Rhys Jones. His killer was filmed...

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Kidnap and sadistic murder to be banned in Basra outside daylight hours

Funny story: Kidnap and sadistic murder to be banned in Basra outside daylight hours

In a crackdown on the increasingly criminal activities of the Mahdi army shi'ite militia, the authorities in Basra have banned murder, kidnap and extortion between 22:00 and 06:00 local time. The move is expected to be welcomed by all sides in t...

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Eco-towns to reintroduce man with red flag for motorists

Funny story: Eco-towns to reintroduce man with red flag for motorists

Housing minister Caroline Flint has announced that vehicles driving on roads into the planned eco-towns will be compelled to have a man walking in front of them waving a red flag. As part of the governments plans to minimise the carbon footprint of...

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Government proposes "cig hunts" to curb smoking

Funny story: Government proposes "cig hunts" to curb smoking

In an effort to combat smoking the government has proposed legislation to force shopkeepers to hide cigarettes around their shops and time all customers attempting to purchase them. In a statement Public Health Minister Dawn Primarolo explained the...

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National Union of Teachers call to offer faith class choice

Funny story: National Union of Teachers call to offer faith class choice

Imams, rabbis and priests should be allowed to offer religious instruction to pupils in all state schools, teachers' leaders have said. Speaking on behalf of the union Ron Cake explained that the move would promote community cohesion in modern B...

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Brown aide admits human/animal embryo plan backfired

Funny story: Brown aide admits human/animal embryo plan backfired

A senior aide to the Prime Minister admitted that his plan to shake off his dour image and prove he had a sense of humour by authorising the creation of animal-human freak creatures has backfired.

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Bank of England reduces collateral requirements

Funny story: Bank of England reduces collateral requirements

The Governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King, has announced that banks will be allowed to use a wider range of collateral to back loans from the central bank. Among the assets banks can now use are "vague insincere promises", "IOU...

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Minister proposes 5000 pupil classes

Funny story: Minister proposes 5000 pupil classes

Schools Minister Jim Knight has caused controversy after remarks he made suggesting that class sizes of up to 5000 were perfectly acceptable. Mr Knight explained that due to slim lining of the RAF to meet current defense requirements a number of for...

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China locked in life or death struggle with Dalai Lamas forces

Funny story: China locked in life or death struggle with Dalai Lamas forces

Anxious Chinese generals were locked in emergency session today after Tibet's Communist Party secretary, Zhang Qingli, announced the state faced "a life and death struggle with the Dalai Clique". Senior generals are concerned that whil...

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Bin Ladin urges the faithful to work for Middle East peace

Funny story: Bin Ladin urges the faithful to work for Middle East peace

In a message released on al Jazeera Osama bin Ladin has urged Muslims to support the establishment of a Palestinian state. In the recording he said "Every Muslim has a duty to work towards a viable independent Palestinian state and the...

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France cuts nuclear missile arsenal by a third

Funny story: France cuts nuclear missile arsenal by a third

President Sarkozy has announced France's stocks of air launched nuclear weapons is to be slashed in an effort to ensure the safety of Europe. In a speech to French defence chiefs Sarkozy hailed the plan as a major blow to the enemies of France a...

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Breaking news…

Trump Sorry For 'Horseface' Tweet

Trump apologizes to Stormy Daniels for calling her 'horseface' in a
tweet. Tweet was actually meant for Kelly Ann Conway.
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