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Funny story: Duke of Cambridge's elevation sparks Fenland conflagration

Duke of Cambridge's elevation sparks Fenland conflagration

Prince William's appointment as Duke if Cambridge has pushed East Anglia to the brink of civil war, as the Windsor dynasty's expansion re-ignites ancient feudal rivalries. With Lord Browne of Madingley encamped on the city's west, Baroness Trumpingto...
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Funny story: Pop-Up Pope Beatifies 'Cars-dinal' Gary Numan

Pop-Up Pope Beatifies 'Cars-dinal' Gary Numan

Following a translation mistake, the Pope today beatified Gary Numan. In a synthesiser-studded event in Birmingham, the 82-year-old pontiff - old enough to remember the birth of electro-pop - hailed Numan as the clear leader in the race to British ro...
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Funny story: Quakers sue Facebook over stolen 'Friends' idea

Quakers sue Facebook over stolen 'Friends' idea

The Religious Society of Friends, better known as the Quakers, have launched a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against the founders of Facebook for stealing their big idea. Explaining the surprise move, a quaking spokesperson said: "The Quaker moveme...
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Funny story: Swiss Role in American Jam

Swiss Role in American Jam

European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...
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Funny story: Nuclear scientists in orgasm over Large Hardon Collider

Nuclear scientists in orgasm over Large Hardon Collider

Leading minds from the world of high-energy physics have gathered for a weeklong orgy under the Swiss Alps, where each is hoping for a Big Bang with their newly installed Large Hardon Collider. "It's better than s to the power x," said one ecstat...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown blamed for splitting UB40 after 30 years

Gordon Brown blamed for splitting UB40 after 30 years

Ali Campbell has dismissed talk of artistic differences being cause of his departure from veteran rock band UB40, and says it's all the fault of policy changes under New Labour.
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Funny story: "Our rogue traders are better than yours," say leading US banks

"Our rogue traders are better than yours," say leading US banks

America's leading banks have reacted angrily to claims that a French rival, Societe General, has achieved the world's biggest trading fraud loss, worth $7bn.
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Funny story: "No-one knows anything about you." Public assured after latest data lapse

"No-one knows anything about you." Public assured after latest data lapse

The British public, now confirmed by official figures to be the most public in the world, have been assured that their personal data is completely safe. From now on, even the people who are supposed to read it won't be able to.
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Funny story: Universities ordered to stop extreme-sports students

Universities ordered to stop extreme-sports students

Reacting to alarming evidence that Britain's universities are becoming a recruiting ground for dangerous and life-threatening activity, the government has issued new instructions to academics to monitor and report student engagement in extremist...
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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