Joplin, MO--Summer storms caused flash flooding and millions of dollars of property damage last night. But the destruction apparently was a clever ruse to disguise more sinister intentions: sexual assault.
Marilyn Nieswyde, a partner at the Nie...
Vatican City--In a stunning move today, the Vatican announced that the Catholic church is now "pro-choice". The surprising news comes following Pope Benedict XVI's recent evening out at a local Denney's.
"I couldn't believe the number of children...
Detroit- In a bold move, Ford Motor Company President and CEO Alan Mulally announced today that the company is closing its doors for good.
"Let's face it," Mulally said, "This company has been producing clunkers for far too long. Everyone is awar...
Chicago--Media mogul Oprah Winfrey reiterated her support of Barack Obama in his bid for the Democratic nomination just moments before her vagina expressed its own support for Hillary Clinton.
Hollywood--Non-Oscar winner and space cadet Tom Cruise has announced that he is leaving the controversial Church of Scientology to explore a new religion: The Force.
In a tragic twist of irony, one time music and cinematic superstar, Lindsay Lohan, posed nude for New York Magazine - only to have most readers turn a disgusted eye from the pictures.
In a move to one up the US Navy, Iraqi insurgents strapped explosives to a woman and catapulted her into space, intercepting a falling bus-sized satellite that was threatening to endanger unsuspecting earthlings. Upon impact, the satellite exploded...
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced today that it is acceptable once again to use the word 'Colored' when referring to non-caucasian people.
Washington D.C. -- Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) announced today that he will hold hearings to investigate alleged cheating by an owner in the Greater Mid-West Fantasy Football League.
World class decathlete Mike Britney caused a stir this week while practicing his javelin throw. According to his training partner and sister, Linda, Britney stumbled as he released the javelin, which sailed off course and into a nearby farmer's...
Local Resident Jerry Bush accused his neighors, Tom and Cathy Black, of being lazy for failing to take down their Christmas lights in a timely manner.
President Bush today revealed his plan to balance the budget by betting on the New England Patriots in this year's Super Bowl. The Patriots are a 13 and a half point favorite over the New York Giants.
Former Tennessee Senator and Republican Presidential pipe-dreamer Fred Thompson announced today that he is dropping out of the race for the party's nomination and has signed on to play the son of Sylvester Stallone's Rambo in next year's...
Barbara Walters has announced that in the coming weeks, Osama Bin Laden will serve as guest-host on "The View." Bin Laden approached Walters about the possibility following Joy Behar's comments last week about the absence of prophets i...
New York City -- Former Saturday Night Live cast member Horatio Sanz filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit early Thursday morning against New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson. Sanz's suit alleges that by dropping his bid for the White House, Richardson...
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Ex-Emperor Goes on the Airwaves with Desperate Message
Redneck Torches Own Pubic Hair
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Trump Has Solution About What to Do With all the Confederate Statues That Were Removed
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