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Funny story: Knock-and-run incident is suspected 'terror attack'

Knock-and-run incident is suspected 'terror attack'

Reports are coming in of a suspected terror attack on the streets of London this afternoon. An unidentified teenager apparently knocked on the red door of a local resident and was filmed afterwards using religious language. Witnesses say that the...
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Funny story: Jolie breasts vow comeback after split

Jolie breasts vow comeback after split

Angelina Jolie's breasts, removed in a double mastectomy when the American actress tried to beat the threat of cancer, have vowed to remain in the film industry despite the painful break-up last week. Both breasts claimed to have been inundated with...
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Funny story: Police have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance

Police have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance

Portuguese police says they have new leads to pursue in the case of missing toddler Peppa Pig. Peppa, who disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 2007, has not been since since she and her parents were holidaying in Praia da Luz. Various theo...
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Funny story: 'Hope fading' for Princess Diana accident recovery

'Hope fading' for Princess Diana accident recovery

Doctors have admitted that Princess Diana is unlikely to recover from the injuries she sustained in 1997 as a result of a car crash in Paris. Medical expertise suggests that, even if she did make significant progress, she would still be unable to le...
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Funny story: Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Researchers working at the University of North London have concluded that former TV presenter Jimmy Savile shared many characteristics with the cell structures found in malignant tumours. Dr Not-the-second-nurse, a specialist in aggressive cancers...
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Funny story: Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour, who, along with others, was arrested for rioting during the protests over student fees in December 2010, has been sentenced to 16 months in prison. This is for the more serious crime of being related to Dave Gilmour, guitarist with...
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Funny story: Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

After days of mounting pressure, Rebekah Brooks has resigned as chief executive of the venal, pus-filled, cancerous appendage for which she had been responsible. Sounding tearful and full of remorse, she said at a press conference 'I have enjoyed...
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Funny story: Commonwealth Games 'could move to Sandy, Bedfordshire'

Commonwealth Games 'could move to Sandy, Bedfordshire'

As tension mounts in the run up to the ill-fated Commonwealth Games, the committee responsible for organising the games has suggested that the Bedfordshire town of Sandy may be used as an alternative venue. Despite its small size, Sandy, unlike De...
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Funny story: Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

A woman whose noisy sex enraged neighbours has now put her anti-social behaviour to good use by featuring in new carbon-monoxide warning sensors. Recordings of Caroline Adult-Literacy, 34, and her husband Gillian, have been installed in the new wall...
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Funny story: 'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

As the furious backclash continued over the 'hastilly-scrawlled letter' written by Gordon Brown to a grieving mum, some high-profile figures were sugesting that Brown should lose his job. Jacqui James, whose son Jamie was killed in an explotion wh...
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Funny story: Council bans Remembrance Day parade 'for a laugh'

Council bans Remembrance Day parade 'for a laugh'

In another example of 'Health and Safety gone mad', a town council has banned this morning's Remembrance Day parade on the grounds of 'pins given out with poppies can cause eye-injuries to children - or something.' The town council of Felcham, K...
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Funny story: Liverpool name 'Strictly Come Dancing' as new manager

Liverpool name 'Strictly Come Dancing' as new manager

After another woeful performance, this time against Fulham, Liverpool have named their third manager this season. In an attempt to win both points and reverse the flagging morale at Anfield, Liverpool have gone for the tried and tested skills of the...
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Funny story: Nick Griffin named new Liverpool manager

Nick Griffin named new Liverpool manager

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, has been named as the new manager of Liverpool FC after the shock departure of Rafa Benitez yesterday. At a hushed press conference, the Liverpool board explained that, though he doesn't yet possess the correct FA...
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Funny story: Liverpool sign Stadium of Light beachball to strengthen attack

Liverpool sign Stadium of Light beachball to strengthen attack

Liverpool, in an increasingly desperate attempt to revive their flagging season, have signed the beachball whose skilfull deflection was their downfall yesterday. The beachball, who was on loan from the Spanish side Real Costa del Sol, will partne...
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Funny story: Eight hour 'normality' binge killed Gately, tests prove

Eight hour 'normality' binge killed Gately, tests prove

The Boyzone singer Stephen Gately died of 'natural causes' a controversial post-mortem has revealed. The 'teetotal' singer, dubbed 'sweet' and 'loving' had, in fact, indulged in a huge eight-hour binge that involved a lethal cocktail of 'some drin...
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Funny story: NASA crash satellites into Winehouse in search of water

NASA crash satellites into Winehouse in search of water

In their continuing search for water or, indeed, signs of life, NASA have crashed two unmanned craft into the surface of the singer Amy Winehouse. They hope to discover whether there is currently, or maybe has been in the past, water inside Winehous...
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Funny story: Du Beke apologises on-air for Strictly Come Dancing

Du Beke apologises on-air for Strictly Come Dancing

Anton du Beke, a dancer you won't of heard of in 6 months time, has apologised on air for Strictly Come Dancing, saying it was 'inappropriate', 'offensive' and he didn't know why the BBC transmitted it. The programme, shown everyday at 7 p.m. and...
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Funny story: Obama wins Nobel Prize for Being Prolific Subject of Lazy Satirical Comedy

Obama wins Nobel Prize for Being Prolific Subject of Lazy Satirical Comedy

The world of comedy was stunned yesterday as the Nobel committee announced that US President Barack Obama, after only 7 months in office, has won the Nobel Prize for No-talent Comedy Writer's Blank Page of the Century award. Speaking from some hil...
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Breaking News...

Ellen challenges Hillary

Hollywood lesbian Ellen Degenerate issued an ice bucket challenge to "friend" Hillary Clinton. "She's too cheap to donate money," Ellen said, "and she has hot hooters. I bet she has nice pokies!"

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