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Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview

Funny story: Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview

As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...

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Trump to be new 'Top Gear' presenter

Funny story: Trump to be new 'Top Gear' presenter

In a shock move, the BBC announced today that Matt le Blanc would be replaced by the potential Republican nominee, Donald Trump, if he fails to win the presidency later this year. Le Blanc, who disgraced himself earlier this week by eating doughnu...

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UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

Funny story: UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...

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Knock-and-run incident is suspected 'terror attack'

Funny story: Knock-and-run incident is suspected 'terror attack'

Reports are coming in of a suspected terror attack on the streets of London this afternoon. An unidentified teenager apparently knocked on the red door of a local resident and was filmed afterwards using religious language. Witnesses say that the...

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Jolie breasts vow comeback after split

Angelina Jolie's breasts, removed in a double mastectomy when the American actress tried to beat the threat of cancer, have vowed to remain in the film industry despite the painful break-up last week. Both breasts claimed to have been inundated with...

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Police have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance

Funny story: Police have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance

Portuguese police says they have new leads to pursue in the case of missing toddler Peppa Pig. Peppa, who disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 2007, has not been since since she and her parents were holidaying in Praia da Luz. Various theo...

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'Hope fading' for Princess Diana accident recovery

Funny story: 'Hope fading' for Princess Diana accident recovery

Doctors have admitted that Princess Diana is unlikely to recover from the injuries she sustained in 1997 as a result of a car crash in Paris. Medical expertise suggests that, even if she did make significant progress, she would still be unable to le...

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Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Funny story: Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Researchers working at the University of North London have concluded that former TV presenter Jimmy Savile shared many characteristics with the cell structures found in malignant tumours. Dr Not-the-second-nurse, a specialist in aggressive cancers...

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Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Funny story: Charlie Gilmour jailed for 16 months for being son of Dave Gilmour

Charlie Gilmour, who, along with others, was arrested for rioting during the protests over student fees in December 2010, has been sentenced to 16 months in prison. This is for the more serious crime of being related to Dave Gilmour, guitarist with...

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Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

Funny story: Rebekah Brooks resigns as boss of human scum filth abattoir

After days of mounting pressure, Rebekah Brooks has resigned as chief executive of the venal, pus-filled, cancerous appendage for which she had been responsible. Sounding tearful and full of remorse, she said at a press conference 'I have enjoyed...

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Commonwealth Games 'could move to Sandy, Bedfordshire'

Funny story: Commonwealth Games 'could move to Sandy, Bedfordshire'

As tension mounts in the run up to the ill-fated Commonwealth Games, the committee responsible for organising the games has suggested that the Bedfordshire town of Sandy may be used as an alternative venue. Despite its small size, Sandy, unlike De...

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Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

Funny story: Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

A woman whose noisy sex enraged neighbours has now put her anti-social behaviour to good use by featuring in new carbon-monoxide warning sensors. Recordings of Caroline Adult-Literacy, 34, and her husband Gillian, have been installed in the new wall...

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'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

Funny story: 'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

As the furious backclash continued over the 'hastilly-scrawlled letter' written by Gordon Brown to a grieving mum, some high-profile figures were sugesting that Brown should lose his job. Jacqui James, whose son Jamie was killed in an explotion wh...

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Council bans Remembrance Day parade 'for a laugh'

Funny story: Council bans Remembrance Day parade 'for a laugh'

In another example of 'Health and Safety gone mad', a town council has banned this morning's Remembrance Day parade on the grounds of 'pins given out with poppies can cause eye-injuries to children - or something.' The town council of Felcham, K...

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Liverpool name 'Strictly Come Dancing' as new manager

Funny story: Liverpool name 'Strictly Come Dancing' as new manager

After another woeful performance, this time against Fulham, Liverpool have named their third manager this season. In an attempt to win both points and reverse the flagging morale at Anfield, Liverpool have gone for the tried and tested skills of the...

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Nick Griffin named new Liverpool manager

Funny story: Nick Griffin named new Liverpool manager

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, has been named as the new manager of Liverpool FC after the shock departure of Rafa Benitez yesterday. At a hushed press conference, the Liverpool board explained that, though he doesn't yet possess the correct FA...

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Liverpool sign Stadium of Light beachball to strengthen attack

Funny story: Liverpool sign Stadium of Light beachball to strengthen attack

Liverpool, in an increasingly desperate attempt to revive their flagging season, have signed the beachball whose skilfull deflection was their downfall yesterday. The beachball, who was on loan from the Spanish side Real Costa del Sol, will partne...

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Eight hour 'normality' binge killed Gately, tests prove

Funny story: Eight hour 'normality' binge killed Gately, tests prove

The Boyzone singer Stephen Gately died of 'natural causes' a controversial post-mortem has revealed. The 'teetotal' singer, dubbed 'sweet' and 'loving' had, in fact, indulged in a huge eight-hour binge that involved a lethal cocktail of 'some drin...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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