First Lady Michelle Obama took a vacation in Europe this week, igniting a firestorm of scandal about Beltway insiders.
"A vacation in Europe?" wept Fox News Crier Glen Beck. "Do I have to draw you a picture? Lenin took a vacation to Europe. Karl M...
Retired President George W Bush announced today he has accepted an invitation to make campaign stops throughout the Midwest in support of his fellow Republicans.
"I am delighted to have extended this invitation," said a Democratic Party organizer,...
New Orleans - Oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico has been renamed "Chocolate Fudge" according to a BP press release today.
"Oil" and "Petroleum" has negative associations for many people, say Tony Hayward, "But everyone loves Chocolate Fudge!"...
Election subcontracting giant OneDollarOneVote, Inc (NASDAQ symbol ODOV) announced today an election auction to be held in November.
"Money is speech", said spokesman Clarence Thomas, "And when money talks, we listen!"
ODOV's right to spend unl...
One penny out of every dollar spent in the United States of America went for salaries and bonuses at Wall Street firms, prompting demands for a new federal holiday.
"We awarded ourselves $140 Billion in salary and bonusses in 2009," explained one...
American political scientists were astounded today by the announcement of the three laws that completely explain earmarks in Congressional Spending:
1. My earmarks are reasonable and necessary for the health and safety of our community.
2. Your...
Samuel Alito revealed today that he mouthed "Completely Not True" during the State of the Union address to publicize his new line of clothing for corporate whores.
"Formerly, judges were required to pretend to some sort of impartiality in public,"...
New Orleans - The Big Easy was rocked today as Secret Agent James O'Keefe was captured during a top secret mission to bug telephones at the office of Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA).
O'Keefe's daring plan involved going to Landrieu's office disguised...
The U.S. Supreme Court has just ruled, in the Citizens United case, that Wall Street firms such as Goldman Sachs have the right to contribute as many billions of dollars as they wish to determine the outcome of Congressional and Presidential campaign...
Democratic Candidate Martha Coakley expressed surprise today that she had been expected to campaign hard for a Senate seat.
"I won the primary, so I figured why bother?" explained Coakley. "My opponent was wasting time opening field offices across...
A blogger who struggled through high-school math has completely debunked the theory of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Change, otherwise known as "Global Warming".
"It was easy, really," said Barney Schtupnagel, "I knew it was a lot of hooey be...
Following up their success with charging fees for carryone baggage, airlines will be imposing fees on passengers wearing hats.
"It's a logical development," said a spokesman Art Farly of the Airline Fee Increase institute. "People who will pay $20...
U.S. President Barack Obama admitted today that he responded swiftly and competently to the disaster in Haiti solely for the purpose of annoying his critics.
"My first impulse was to go have birthday cake with John McCain," Obama told reporters, "...
Billionaire evangelist Pat Robertson admitted today that he made a deal with Satan for worldly success.
"You ask how I know that the Haitians made a deal with the devil?" he said to his radio audience, "Well it's because the Devil Himself told me.
Internet venues that allow anonymous posting promote a personal and group assholism, according to a study by the Institute for Internet Studies (IIS).
"If your name or your face is connected to what you post on the internet, you naturally have a t...
Former Governor Sarah Palin announced today that she is quitting Fox News after a highly successful term of accepting a job there but before actually starting her job.
"This mavericky success I am proud to take credit, for hiring the right people,...
The court-appointed attorney for crotch bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab announced today that his legal defense at the upcoming criminal trial will be based on the "Nuh-uh!" theory.
"What else can I do?," said Illinois Public Defender John Maynard...
Unemployed Americans, and those soon to be unemployed, can now download an iPhone App to help them cope with having their jobs shipped overseas, their tax dollars given to the bankers running our economy and their very lives sold to billionaires in n...