Chickens are now once again recognized as legal tender. In a bid to kick start the economy, the government has reintroduced the age old trading laws of "bartering".
A spokesman for NEXT, the popular high street name, said "How are we supposed to...
It has been leaked that a tragedy has occurred within the Big Brother house.
A well known celebrity died when Reese Witherspoon tripped on the staircase and her large pointed chin harpooned one of the celebrities who was loitering at the bottom of...
Heroic Jetman, Yves Rossy, the man who crossed the English Channel using only a jet pack, has been arrested for bringing illegal immigrants into the country strapped to his back.
Rossy claimed he was unaware he had sixteen Kurds bound to his back...
The Man from Del Monte has been revealed as the latest hot shot to refuse the chance of guiding Newcastle to safety.
A club insider told us "The man from Del Monte, he said NO!"
It is believed, however, that the white suited man could be direct...
Following lengthy investigations, the cause of the Worldwide Credit Crunch has been traced to a chip shop in Carlisle.
Its been discovered that the shop's owner, Mongoe Gongoe, has been selling his chips for only 3p per bag with free ketchup!
Newcastle United have been sold by Mike Ashley. The new owners, Beverley and Bryan Tomlinson, won the club in an unlucky bag.
Ashley, in a desperate bid to offload the club, slipped the ownership papers into a lucky bag at a local newsagents.
David Bowie is reported to have exploded at a party in Zurich.
Petrol prices in the UK have reached unbelievable levels due to yesterdays declaration that there is only enough oil left in the world to last another three weeks.
Barack Obama is not really coloured, it was claimed today.
Police received an anonymous phone call today to say that Stonehenge, the ancient site, has been stolen. Upon inspection it was found that Stonehenge had indeed been pilfered.
Big Brother contestants have been promised a night of unadulterated wild hedonism with show host Davina McCall in exchange for extreme entertainment from the competitors it was alleged today.
Barack Obama has been arrested along with Hilary Clinton.
England has tonight officially declared war on Scotland. Her "Old Foe" has responded by closing the borders.
Officials are investigating Grand Prix driver, Lewis Hamilton, and Mclaren following complaints that Hamilton cheated in order to gain pole position for the Montreal Grand Prix.
Portugal are to be banned from the European Cup after it was revealed that they have been caught using performance enhancing steroids.
Jesus Christ has risen again in order to carry on his work for the salvation of Mankind.
Following a four year investigation it has come to the attention of anti- terrorism chiefs that throughout history, the people who have threatened world peace have all sported facial hair.
The Army are investing £300,000 in a new innovative mode of transport for their troops in Afghanistan.