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Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

Funny story: Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

AUSTIN (Kitteh Network News) After a weekend full of harsh criticism on the internet for advising state employees to ignore the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton wasted no time in...

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Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

Funny story: Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate. Both amendment...

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Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Funny story: Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...

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Leaked memo deals second blow to Romney campaign in a week

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) After last week's leak of a Mitt Romney fundraiser speech that insulted nearly half of all voters by repeating a popular but fallacious far-right wing talking point, the campaign suffered another blow yesterday when a memo contain...

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Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

Funny story: Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

ATLANTA GA (AP) The Chick-fil-A fast food chain announced yesterday that it would be dropping its popular "Waffle Fries" from its menu and replacing them with a new fried potato product. At a press conference, Chick-fil-A spokesman Ted Haggard ex...

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Michigan Republicans Outlaw Vagina, Promise Armed Response

Funny story: Michigan Republicans Outlaw Vagina, Promise Armed Response

LANSING MI (AP) After a nationwide flurry of criticism over the Michigan legislature's silencing of two female lawmakers for using the word "vagina" during a floor debate, republican lawmakers are standing hard on their position that "vagina" is not...

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Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

Funny story: Santorum: I Will Tax Woodies, Condoms, Semen

RED BANK, NJ (AP) While stumping in New Jersey, Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) proposed new legislation that he says will simultaneously reduce abortions, pay off the national debt, and promote traditional marriage. The new law, titled "Life Begins a...

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Republicans to Pass Sex Tax - Mandate Weekly Sex Testing For Women Only

Funny story: Republicans to Pass Sex Tax - Mandate Weekly Sex Testing For Women Only

WASHINGTON DC (AP) Late yesterday, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Hooterville) announced stiff new legislation that would enact a national sex tax by "sex testing" all women every week. The Congressman explained that women would be require...

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Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

Funny story: Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. (UPI) Following the recent congressional hearings on the inclusion of birth control pills under health insurance prescription coverage, republican committee members co-sponsored new legislation to address what they called the "religi...

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Santorum Prohibits Possession of Birth Control Pills at Campaign Events

Funny story: Santorum Prohibits Possession of Birth Control Pills at Campaign Events

RED BANK, NJ (AP) Former senator Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) drew criticism from both wings of the political bird yesterday when his campaign spokesman, Cardinal Ignatius Glick, held a news conference to announce that no birth control pills would...

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Planned Parenthood Acquires Chick-fil-A Chain -- Offers Drive Thru Abortions on Sundays.

Funny story: Planned Parenthood Acquires Chick-fil-A Chain -- Offers Drive Thru Abortions on Sundays.

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) In a press release issued yesterday, Planned Parenthood announced that it had purchased the Cick-fil-A corporation and would soon begin utilizing locations that are normally closed on Sunday to offer drive through abortions inste...

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Executive Order: Governor Rick Perry Outlaws Condom Sales In Texas

Funny story: Executive Order: Governor Rick Perry Outlaws Condom Sales In Texas

AUSTIN (AP) Late yesterday, Texas Governor and recently announced Republican candidate for President, Rick Perry, announced that he had issued an executive order that in effect, prohibits the sale of condoms in Texas. In a widely televised and in...

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Palin Blames Dismal Movie Debut on Witchcraft and Harry Potter

Funny story: Palin Blames Dismal Movie Debut on Witchcraft and Harry Potter

Orange County CA (AP) Defeated Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's new documentary "Undefeated" opened in selected theaters to abysmal ticket sales and largely negative reviews. The documentary, which some critics have termed, "a sickening self p...

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Republicans Reveal Low Cost Prayer Based Health Care Plans

Funny story: Republicans Reveal Low Cost Prayer Based Health Care Plans

Washington DC (AP) Following the lead of Representative Virginia Foxx (Nutjob-NC) who introduced successful legislation to ban any federal education assistance from being used to teach abortion techniques in medical schools, the social conservative a...

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Embarrassed: RNC Admits Embryonic Stem Cell Effort to Clone Reagan

Funny story: Embarrassed: RNC Admits Embryonic Stem Cell Effort to Clone Reagan

WASHINGTON DC (AP) In a press release issued late last night, the Republican National Committee confirmed rumors that it had been engaged in a covert embryonic stem cell research effort. According to the press release, the goal of the secret project...

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Olbermann May Return After Anger Management Classes

Funny story: Olbermann May Return After Anger Management Classes

NEW YORK (AP) Several days after indefinitely suspending Keith Olbermann, host of the popular 'Countdown' program, MSNBC issued a press release outlining the conditions for his possible return. In addition to completing a course on anger managemen...

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Maher Mauled by "Mama Grizzlies" after Christine O'Donnell Comments

Funny story: Maher Mauled by "Mama Grizzlies" after Christine O'Donnell Comments

LOS ANGELES (AP) Bill Maher, political satirist and host of HBO's Real Time program was attacked and seriously injured by five angry female grizzly bears yesterday. According to a spokesperson at an area hospital, Maher remains in serious but stable...

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Firefighters did the Christian thing in letting house burn to the ground

Funny story: Firefighters did the Christian thing in letting house burn to the ground

A controversy has erupted over a decision by the South Fulton, TN fire department to allow a rural home in Obion County to burn to the ground because the owner did not pay the requisite $75 annual fee to secure fire protection. The fire department...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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