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Local Man Secretly Awaiting The Return Of Ugly Betty

Funny story: Local Man Secretly Awaiting The Return Of Ugly Betty

(New York) While the fall means the return of football season for most New York men, Upper West Side resident Brian Dubrowski is happy for another reason; the return of his favorite TV Show Ugly Betty. "Don't tell anyone, but I can't wait for the...

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Imaginary Girlfriend Dumped

(New York) Vanessa, the imaginary girlfriend of midtown resident Tim Rogers was devastated to learn that she had been dumped over the weekend; replaced by Christine Moore, a real flesh and blood woman Rogers met through friends.

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Dysfunctional Family Enjoys Incident Free Meal

(New Jersey) For the first time in recent memory, The Mitchell family enjoyed a pleasant Sunday dinner with out all the psychotic behavior that occurs during family meals.

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Air Conditioner Saves Relationship

(New York) West Side resident Glen Fisher decided to break up with his longtime girlfriend this weekend, but with the record heat wave that's currently gripping the city, the thought of leaving her air-conditioned apartment is making him rethink...

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Wasted Girl Can't Work Cell Phone

New York - Local Party girl Robin Privman tried to text the cute guy she met earlier in the evening while barhopping with her girlfriends, but soon discovered something was wrong with her cell phone.

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Woman Spotted At Iron Man Movie Premiere

(New York) The Loews Cinema in Times Square was thrown into a state of turmoil during a special midnight screening of Iron Man when a person believed to be an attractive woman was spotted among the crowd of single overweight male moviegoers.

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Guy Played Soccer Once

(New York) While watching Saturday's Arsenal/Liverpool match on FSC at his friend's apartment, soccer fan Dan Milne wowed everyone gathered with anecdotes about his first season in junior league soccer.

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Local VCR, 13, Unused For Years, Dies

(New York) A JVC VCR was pronounced dead Thursday evening, it's lifeless plastic body failing to respond to repeated presses of the On/Off button.

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Amanda Bynes To Fall Down A Lot In Next Film

(Hollywood) - Amanda Bynes is hard at work on the upcoming Disney film Radioactive Romance. The plucky yet adorable actress is blinded by science and fun as a young Marie Curie.

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Drunken Asshole Prepares For St. Patrick's Day

(New York) - As New York City makes final preparations for the St. Patrick's Day Parade on Monday, thousands of assholes from the tri-state area are also gearing up to invade Manhattan, turning the annual celebration of Irish heritage into a dru...

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Guitar Player Sucks At Guitar Hero

(New York) Local musician Eric Krane has been playing guitar all his life, yet cannot make it through the easiest levels of the popular video game Guitar Hero.

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Death Of Girlfriend's Cat Thrills Local Man

When Diane Barber's nine-year-old cat Jesse passed away from a kidney infection last week, her boyfriend Tim Chambers supported her in her grief but in secret couldn't be happier the miserable thing is finally dead.

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Jennifer Lopez Gives Birth To Children Way Better Than Yours

Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Gives Birth To Children Way Better Than Yours

New York - Superstar singer/actress Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins early Friday morning, a boy and a girl who are destined to be more powerful, successful and just plain better than your kids will ever be.

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Superbowl Fever Kills Three

New York - Tragedy struck Midtown Manhattan Friday night when three patrons of Scruffy Duffy's Sports Bar were overcome with Superbowl fever and died; their lifeless bodies discovered in a heap near the dartboards.

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Film School Guy Thinks He's The Shit

Looking over the list of Academy Award nominees, Upper East Side jackass and onetime film school student Kevin Schmidt proudly announced that not only did he see all of the films up for Best Picture this year, but every Best Foreign Film nominee and...

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Local Man Losing Interest In Woman He Is Stalking

Funny story: Local Man Losing Interest In Woman He Is Stalking

(New York) For nearly two years Manhattan resident James Murphy has been tracking Dawn Kaminski's every move, but lately Murphy is losing interest in the pretty Upper West Side file clerk he watches though high-powered binoculars.

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India Unveils Shitty New Car

Funny story: India Unveils Shitty New Car

(New Dehli) - Hoping to fill the void in the piece of shit car world left when the Yugo ceased production, India unveiled the $2500 Tata Nano, a cheap crapbox that will surely disappoint car enthusiasts all over the world.

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Tara Reid Now Carried Everywhere

After years of drunkenly stumbling around clubs and landing face down in the gutter as paparazzi snap away, rapidly thinning B-list actress Tara Reid now insists on being carried wherever she goes.

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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