The world of Brit music was reeling this morning after what happened last night when top pop paparazzi gathered to snap petite starlet Pixie Lott as she emerged from London's Smithfield Meat Market on the arm of her beau, trainee cheesemaker Oliver W...
The England football team's chances of winning the Euro 2012 tournament have been rated as 0.000756% by a leading Dorking Professor, writes Sport, Fishing, Linoleum, Commercial Grass Cultivation, Wheelbarrow Design, Spats, Mathematics & Entertain...
The University of Dorking has been rocked by a controversy that threatens to have major repercussions for one of its prestige Departments, writes Storm In A Teacup Correspondent, Will Slather.
This controversy, which threatens major repercussions,...
The human brain has the ability to make even the most boring stories vivid and entertaining, a leading brain scientist claims.
This is because the brain's 'inner voice' can talk over even the most tedious speaker, according to Professor Jens Convo...
Twilight sex symbol Robert Pattinson - who stars as star-crossed boy vampire Edwin Culvert in the Twilight movies about a hapless boy vampire whose fangs haven't come through because he's still got his milk teeth - is set to star in English director...
In what has been described as "an historic breakthrough", a new scientific study has revealed that the Irish people are the descendants of an ancient race of exploring Polar Bears, who were the first species to cultivate the potato.
The study - wh...
Last night's edition of 21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent was definitely the best yet.
Judges Pol Pot, Richard Nixon and Bono were simply knocked out by the array of talent on show at the Stevenage Unspecified Meat Products Abbatoir.
P...
Salford-based winger Ryan Giggs has been playing away from home, not just recently, but for a long time, it has been revealed.
These revelations were vouchsafed to us by a source close to the team that Ryan Giggs plays for. This source - namely, a...
Word in exclusive circles has it that there's a hot book deal in the offing for Pippa Middleton, the UK's top posh totty hot property. For we have it on the authority of no less an authority than the authority of our old friend and Hollywood oracle,...
Pipppa Middletonn is a grate faun of the Eurovition, show. She aha's always loved to of watche'd it, from childhood when she, she was a child in her childhood at home in Whitby where her Dad was, away flying'g the Hull to Ostend flying bort's and now...
Kenny Dalglish has signed a new three-year contract at Liverpool.
Anfield bosses were so happy with his performance in the caretaker role he had occupied since January that they had no hesitation in offering him the new contract.
Dalglish took...
All eyes are on Pippa Middleton after her head-turning role at the Royal Wedding. Global millions were transfixed by Pippa's classy chassis as they took in the Westminster Abbey spectacular.
Her Almost-Royal Litheness wowed us all with her slinky...
Robert Pattinson's latest vehicle Water For Elephants has already been hailed as a work of classic cinema.
"Promises to be one of the most notable examples of a film about water and elephants this year!" trumpeted Sabu, the film critic of Pachyd...
A goldfish named Harold has set in train a controversy, by telling its owner, Mimsie Flopdangler, aged seven, of Trubshaw Crescent, Yarmouth, that people should leave fish, particularly goldfish, alone, and eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.
Mimsie...
Two Church of England vicars have been charged after allegedly conducting hundreds of mock marriages intended to aid illegal immigrants defy immigration legislation and remain in Britain, writes Church Travesty correspondent, Arthur Vestry for the Da...
Ryde niche boutique Snoods Galore! has gone from strength to strength since opening last Summer, writes Fashion, War, Dominoes, Pargeting, Philately, Music, Medicine, Agriculture and Medieval Torture Correspondent, Len D'Meaneer.
Island entreprene...
Twilight franchise star Robert Pattinson continues to sweep all before him when it comes to being a top star and even topper sex symbol. You would think he would be cock-a-hoop. But Robert Pattinson is not completely cock-a-hoop.
It's unlikely Rob...
Diminutive West-Country trapeze artiste P J Harvey has always exuded an unattainable, urgent sexuality. Her influence on circus stunts has always been a subversive yet powerful one, with a singular, raw, physical magnetism augmented by a fierce profe...