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Funny story:  Running, As A Spectator Sport, Is Boring, Concedes Seb Coe

Running, As A Spectator Sport, Is Boring, Concedes Seb Coe

Lord Sebastian Coe, Chair of the British Olympic Association, today conceded that running, as a spectator sport, is boring. 'The Sochi Winter Olympics has once again shown us all,' Lord Coe told the BBC, 'that any number of visually interesting co...
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Funny story:  Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers of UK High Street Banks are increasingly reporting their unease about the recent trend for banks to demonstrate excessive goodwill and courtesy towards customers. 'I only dropped into Nat West to use the cashpoint,' said one customer. 'O...
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Funny story:  Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

The Government has today announced plans aimed at reducing the number of road accidents involving cyclists. 'Successive governments have been worried about the safety of cyclists in Britain for very many years,' admitted Secretary of State for Tra...
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Funny story:  President Obama Brings Happiness To A Child

President Obama Brings Happiness To A Child

US President, Barack Obama, today brought a delighted smile to the face of a ten year old English girl. 'I lost my mobile phone last month,' explained Sophie Harris from Cornwall, England. 'I was really, really upset as it had details of all my fr...
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Funny story:  Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Tesco, Findus, Aldi and other food suppliers named in the recent horsemeat revelations, today formed a consortium to try to re-establish confidence in their beef products, and to put the meat-contamination scandal behind them. 'We do not wish to b...
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Funny story:  General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

Controversy within the Church of England has intensified today on the eve of a crucial vote by the General Synod as to whether Christians should defy some of the laws of physics. 'We are sick of scientists not taking seriously our religious Truths...
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Funny story:  London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which nations have links, simply do not exist. Two hundred and four countries were represented at the opening ceremony of London 2012, and it...
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Funny story:  UK Government To Take Urgent Action To Simplify Everyday Life

UK Government To Take Urgent Action To Simplify Everyday Life

A government report on education in the UK, published today, draws radical, new conclusions about the causes of the apparent decline in educational standards. 'It had become established wisdom that young people were becoming more stupid,' explaine...
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Funny story:  London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
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Funny story:  "Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

"Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

The International Bureau of Weights and Measures in Paris today announced that a "leap centimetre" would be added to the length of the metre at midnight on 28th February 2012, to coincide with the addition of an extra day to the year. 'People are...
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Funny story:  Preparations Underway For Journey Of Olympic Flame

Preparations Underway For Journey Of Olympic Flame

Preparations are now underway to ensure the safe journey of the Olympic Flame from the ancient Greek site of Olympia to the Olympic Stadium in London, for the 2012 Olympic Games. 'Many people wonder how the Flame can travel all that way without mi...
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Funny story:  IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"

IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"

The institutions and regulators of the global financial system today made an unprecedented joint announcement that will change the underlying basis of the global economy. These institutions and regulators, which include the International Monetary...
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Funny story:  CERN Issues Advice On The Capture And Storage Of Higgs Bosons

CERN Issues Advice On The Capture And Storage Of Higgs Bosons

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) team at CERN are now enlisting volunteers who have home computers to contribute in the search for the Higgs boson. Details of the project, called LHC@home 2.0, can be found at http://lhcathome.web.cern.ch/LHCathome/Phy...
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Funny story:  The Silence Of The Automobiles

The Silence Of The Automobiles

Concerns continue to be raised about risks associated with the silent motion of electric automobiles. In a recent report, Ivor Hardhat, chairman of the International Society for the Prevention of Accidents, highlights the problem: 'Without an audi...
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Funny story:  Anti-Matter 'Missing' From Universe Is Found

Anti-Matter 'Missing' From Universe Is Found

Cosmology's biggest mystery has been solved due to pioneering work at CERN. The Big Bang Theory predicts that the universe should contain equal quantities of matter and anti-matter. The fact that only matter had been observed led cosmologists to a...
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Funny story:  Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Football supporters' clubs have expressed concern about the ease with which fans now switch club allegiances. 'It's changing the face of football,' lamented George "Kicker" Boot, the supporters' club chairman of, bottom of League Two, Stockport Co...
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Funny story:  Weather-Related Petitionary Prayer Could Cause Environmental Catastrophes, Warn Scientists

Weather-Related Petitionary Prayer Could Cause Environmental Catastrophes, Warn Scientists

Controversy surrounding weather management for the recent British Royal Wedding has reignited debate about the effect of petitionary prayer on global weather systems. London's weather forecast for the Royal Wedding day had been poor. Unofficial Pa...
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Funny story:  EAS Sufferers Receive European Court Backing

EAS Sufferers Receive European Court Backing

The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg today made a landmark judgement that finally recognised the plight of EAS sufferers. The ruling will also lead to a major review of European employment law. Employment Aversion Syndrome, or EAS, rem...
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