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Clinton Whitemails Obama; Power-Sharing Agreement Revealed!

Funny story: Clinton Whitemails Obama; Power-Sharing Agreement Revealed!

YTRE FR├śNNINGEN SOGN OG FJORDANE, NORWAY, EU-- Unique CFR-brokered Clinton-Obama power-sharing agreements in May 2008 secretly guaranteed President-Elect Clinton the Middle American presidency after giving Obama a turn, it has been revealed. The...

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Scotus Demands Death Certificate: Did Obama Gramma Really Die in Hawaii?

Funny story: Scotus Demands Death Certificate: Did Obama Gramma Really Die in Hawaii?

02 Dec 08, HONOLULU, HI, USNA-- Barack Hussein Obama, Acting President Elect Presumptive, ignored a deadline of yesterday to release his grandmother's death certificate, as demanded by Scotus, the nine-headed black beast of Washington. Over 20 co...

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Crypto-Fascists Plan Bombing to Support Rudy Rompson's Imperialist Campaign

Funny story: Crypto-Fascists Plan Bombing to Support Rudy Rompson's Imperialist Campaign

PEARL HARBOUR, HI, USNA-- Presidential candidate Rudy "Mitt" Rompson was outed as a Fascist Party member after being linked to a fundraising website promising to reopen World War II on behalf of the Imperial Axis. His membership was proven...

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Campaign Replaces Statue of Liberty with Disrobing Ron Paul Girl

Funny story: Campaign Replaces Statue of Liberty with Disrobing Ron Paul Girl

05 Nov 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- At midnight Eastern Standard Time, Ron Paul's campaign unveiled its November fundraising widget, which replaces last month's graphic of Miss Liberty with new footage of Miss Liv, the "Ron Paul girl". Ins...

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Vanessa Hudgens New Spokesmodel for "Strippers for Ron Paul"

Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens New Spokesmodel for "Strippers for Ron Paul"

05 Oct 07, LOS ANGELES, CA, USNA-- Political action committee Strippers for Ron Paul debuted actress Vanessa Anne Hudgens as their new official spokesmodel at a press-flesh conference yesterday. Hudgens spoke passionately but eloquently about Constit...

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Ron Paul Signs Emancipation Proclamation, Freeing Tax Slaves!

Funny story: Ron Paul Signs Emancipation Proclamation, Freeing Tax Slaves!

03 Oct 07, WASHINGTON, DC, CSA-- President Ron Paul announced the emancipation of all tax slaves within regions where the Union government remains in rebellion against the People of the States today. This daring frontal manoeuvre against the Union ef...

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Achmadmannutjob's Scorched-Middle-Earth Warheads Thwarted by Ron Paul Brigades

Funny story: Achmadmannutjob's Scorched-Middle-Earth Warheads Thwarted by Ron Paul Brigades

02 Oct 07, CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, MIDDLE EARTH-- Muckmud Achmadmannutjob, President of Iran, has once again escalated his threats against the Center of the Universe. An Iranian warhead exploded prematurely Sunday in Damascus, Syria, which early repo...

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Carolina Finalizes Secession; CSA Elects Ron Paul 2nd President, Ray McKinney Veep

Funny story: Carolina Finalizes Secession; CSA Elects Ron Paul 2nd President, Ray McKinney Veep

01 Oct 07, ANDERSON, SC, CSA-- In a whirlwind coup, South Carolina today ratified its secession from the United States (which occurred in 1860) and transferred its governmental powers to the Confederate States of America. Though the CSA had failed to...

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Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall

Funny story: Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall

30 Sep 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- Ron Paul's presidential campaign announces its volunteers have begun paying the national debt shortfall of the United States of North America on an ongoing basis. Campaign director Jesse Benton describes the effort as...

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Ron Paul Posse Throws Rompson Overboard on Guilty Verdict

Funny story: Ron Paul Posse Throws Rompson Overboard on Guilty Verdict

Lake Huron, The Open Sea - Rudy Rompson was thrown overboard Sunday after about thirty Ron Paul supporters discovered his stowaway hideout and resourcefully took a...

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Ron Paul Grills Bernanke; Bush Says to be Fed is a Fine Job

Funny story: Ron Paul Grills Bernanke; Bush Says to be Fed is a Fine Job

20 Sept. 07, WASHINGTON, DC, USNA-- Rep. Ron Paul trapped Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke today into admitting the immorality of his ways. Tuesday, a crackling sound had emitted from Bernanke's magic wand as it rapidly zapped Middle America...

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Richardson, McCain Win UFO Straw Polls; Ron Paul, Kucinich Second

Funny story: Richardson, McCain Win UFO Straw Polls; Ron Paul, Kucinich Second

19 Sep 07, WASHINGTON, DC, USNA-- The Paradigm Research Group announced results of its "UFO Straw Poll", open only to extraterrestrials, at the National Press Club Monday. Group members also lobbied to end the CIA's "truth embargo&...

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John Kerry a Casualty of Britney Spears Taser Accident

Funny story: John Kerry a Casualty of Britney Spears Taser Accident

18 Sep 07, GAINESVILLE, FL, USNA-- Senator and presidential candidate John Fitzgerald Heinz-Kerry, Demon from Taxachusetts, was critically wounded during a University of Florida debate last afternoon, at which Britney Spears, in part-time employment...

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Arrest Warrants Issued for Franklin, Jefferson, Madison, and Ron Paul

Funny story: Arrest Warrants Issued for Franklin, Jefferson, Madison, and Ron Paul

17 Sep 87, PHILADELPHIA, PA, UK-- A ragtag think-tank of paramilitary extremists, mostly libertarians and palaeoconservatives, released a rambling policy document today that they call the "Constitution for the United States of America". Kin...

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Bill O'Really, Drowned in Ron Paul Mail, Debuts Ombudsbabe

Funny story: Bill O'Really, Drowned in Ron Paul Mail, Debuts Ombudsbabe

14 Sep 07, NEW YORK CITY, NY, USNA-- Talking head Bill O'Really, host of "The Spin Zone" on CBC's Faux News network, was drowned this week in thousands of letters from Ron Paul supporters. Admitting for the first time in 11 years th...

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Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available

Funny story: Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available

14 Sep 07, EVANSVILLE, IN, USNA-- Someone has been buying almost all the gold in the world in the past ten days, reports monetary architect Bernard von NutHaus of Liberty Services, suggesting that the next world crisis is imminent. Oddly, in the mids...

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Huckabee Outed as Attack Chihuahua, Duels Ron Paul

Funny story: Huckabee Outed as Attack Chihuahua, Duels Ron Paul

6 Sep 07, DURHAM, NH, USNA-- At last night's CBC Republicacrat debate, Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee carried out the mission entrusted to him by CFR Straw Poll delegates this weekend. Huckabee ordered all Republicacrats to vote for President-El...

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Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton Accepted Into Hogwarts

Funny story: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton Accepted Into Hogwarts

5 Sep 07, HOGSMEADE, UK, EU-- Two presidential candidates are among enrollees at prestigious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this term, said registrar Minerva McGonagall. President-Elect

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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