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Mary Poppins Wanted For Drug Dealing.

Funny story: Mary Poppins Wanted For Drug Dealing.

Police have confirmed that an arrest warrant has been issued for one 'Mary Poppins' in relation to the dealing of illegal, nonprescription drugs to minors. "We've been after her for a while", stated Officer C.O. Rupt, head of operation Spit Spot.

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Henman Blasts 'Bottler' Murray.

Former British number one Tim Henman has branded Andy Murray a 'bottler who will never win the big one', after the Scot lost to American Andy Roddick in a tight semi-final. "He doesn't have the balls. And I don't mean tennis ones", said Henman, sp...

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Jade Goody To Star In 'I'm A Corpse! Get Me Out Of Here!'

Funny story: Jade Goody To Star In 'I'm A Corpse! Get Me Out Of Here!'

Jade Goody is the biggest name signed up to star in a new reality show which will begin on ITV in the autumn. The show, to be presented by Ant & Dec and Trevor McDonald, will be called I'm A Corpse! Get Me Out Of Here! and TV bosses are hoping...

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Velma From Scooby Doo: "I'm A Lesbian"

Funny story: Velma From Scooby Doo: "I'm A Lesbian"

Velma from Scooby Doo has finally come clean about her sexuality in a revealing interview with Dyke magazine. "I'm a lesbian and proud", reveals Velma, who has retired from private investigation to focus on her acting career, admitting that she ho...

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Hansel And Gretel Arrested

Funny story: Hansel And Gretel Arrested

Hansel and Gretel have been arrested after new DNA evidence has come to light in the case of the roasted 'witch', a cause celebre and scandal which rocked the world a hundred years ago. "We have evidence which suggests that the siblings may have e...

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Man City Defeated By Hamburgers

Funny story: Man City Defeated By Hamburgers

Manchester City have been knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Hamburgers, which raises serious doubts as to whether Mark Hughes is the right manager for the club. The UEFA Cup, to be renamed the Ropey League from next season onward, was a high priority...

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Rafa Nadal Launches Own Brand Of Underwear

Tennis number one Rafa Nadal is to launch his own brand of underwear, The Spoof.com can reveal. Under the brandname Wedgie Pants, the pants are to be sold at all the biggest outlets in the world and sales are expected to skyrocket. 'They'll come...

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Alex Bogdanovic Launches His Own Website.

Funny story: Alex Bogdanovic Launches His Own Website.

Tennis British number 2 and world number 179 Alex Bogdanovic has launched his own website and tells me that he has big plans for the future. "Well, I've got my website, did I mention that? And I'm sure there's going to be a real improvement in my...

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Gael Monfils Wants To Move Further Behind The Baseline

Funny story: Gael Monfils Wants To Move Further Behind The Baseline

French tennis star and world number 10 Gael Monfils has urged tennis authorities to move spectators' seats further back so that he can stay even further behind the baseline. The black youngster, nicknamed Sliderman, on account of his agility and k...

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Roger Federer Marries Rafa Nadal's Mom

Funny story: Roger Federer Marries Rafa Nadal's Mom

Roger Federer has married Rafa Nadal's mother in a move many see as the Swiss' last throw of the dice in their increasingly one-sided rivalry, in a private ceremony in Switzerland. "He needs to get into Rafa's head", says tennis analyst Mats Wilan...

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Kim Clijsters: "Woman's Tennis Sucks Donkey Balls"

Funny story: Kim Clijsters: "Woman's Tennis Sucks Donkey Balls"

Ex-grand slam champion Kim Clijsters has revealed her private reason for returning to the tennis circuit in an interview with Bored Housewife magazine. "Woman's tennis sucks donkey balls", stated the Belgian, who will return after two years away '...

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Sunderland Appoint Keegan And Shearer

Funny story: Sunderland Appoint Keegan And Shearer

Sunderland have hired Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer to steer them through the rest of the season in their battle against relegation, Niall Quinn confirmed in a press conference today. "We've thought long and hard about who we wanted", stated Quinn...

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Natalie Holloway Found Under Greta Van Susteren's Desk!

Funny story: Natalie Holloway Found Under Greta Van Susteren's Desk!

Texas teen Natalie Holloway was recovering last night after emerging from under the desk of On The Record host Greta Van Susteren where she has been held captive for the last three years. Holloway, whose disappearance has been the subject of a rel...

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Gary Glitter To Star In New Home Alone Movie

Funny story: Gary Glitter To Star In New Home Alone Movie

Gary Glitter is all set to star in the new Home Alone movie alongside Macaulay Culkin. "Negotiations are ongoing as we speak, but Gary is enthusiastic and so are we. It will be an interesting project for sure", stated Irish director Pete O' Feile.

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Billy Whizz Challenges Usain Bolt

Beano speedster Billy Whizz has laid down the gauntlet to Jamaican star Usain Bolt, challenging him to a race 'anytime, anywhere'. Whizz, who despite being around since 1964, still looks about 12, has branded Bolt 'overrated and old news'. "100 me...

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Usain Bolt Laps Rivals In 200 Metres Final

Funny story: Usain Bolt Laps Rivals In 200 Metres Final

Usain Bolt has raised the bar in men's sprinting after lapping his rivals in the 200m final in Beijing and winning in a time of 0.578 seconds. The Jamaican managed to overtake his opponents for a second time on his lap of honour after he had already...

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Federer Blames Gavin Rossdale For Loss Of Form

Funny story: Federer Blames Gavin Rossdale For Loss Of Form

Roger Federer has blamed his recent decline in form on Bush singer Gavin Rossdale, in an astonishing interview with Swiss newspaper Cheese & Cuckoo Clocks daily. Federer, who has lost the number one spot to Nadal, stated that Rossdale was '...

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England Confident Ahead Of Euro 2008

Steven Gerrard insists that he and his English international colleagues have a great chance of glory this summer at Euro 2008. "The lads are confident", said the scouser. "We know we can beat anyone on our day". "Individually, we're better than...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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