Queen Elizabeth II was set Thursday to become Britain's oldest monarch, overtaking her great-great grandmother Queen Victoria amid signs the royal family is preparing for life after 81-year-old "Lillibet".
Massive breasted Jordan aka Katie Price and Peter Andre aka Aussie Twat have exclaimed their joy at the second welcome edition to their family this week, with the birth of daughter "Chlamydia Crystal Moondog Bush Tucker Trial".
A report today challenges the notion that excessive self-abuse can affect your eyesight.
David Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk was today almost reaching Critical Mass as news came in that he had lost out on his prized Wimbledon tickets following bad weather and a drunken session with other Marvel heroes.
People who shop after 11pm at 24 hour supermarkets are more than likely a gay. A recent study, conducted at the 24 hour Asda in Great Bridge found that 60% of all shoppers in store were either bi-curious or full blown homosexual.
A smoking ban came in force at 6am, 1st of July 2007, and already has been the subject of discussion up and down the UK.
A 12 week old foetus, despite being in the confines of it's mothers womb, has sensationally been served with an ASBO this week.
Singer Usher and his partner Tameka Foster (Who?) are expecting their first child together, the couple have announced.
Dentists and leading scientists have compiled a report highlighting the significant risks involved with DIY "over the counter" teeth whitening kits. It has emerged that a single pack could contain upto more than twice the amount of bleach f...
1990s common-as-muck Pop Slags, the Spice Girls have announced that they plan to reunite later this year. The "ladies" will announce a number of gigs throughout the UK sometime this week.
Deceased puppet master, wiry ginger bloke and children's entertainer Rod Hull has sensationally contacted Emu from beyond the grave.
James Blunts "hit" was number one in 11 countries, and stayed at that position over here for 5 gruelling weeks when it was released in 2005.
A short section of road in Lancashire has been named as the most dangerous in Britain in a new survey.
Almost two-thirds of Britons regularly commit petty crimes, according to a report, challenging the notion that the country is made up of a law-abiding, respectable majority.
This week's torrential downpours and relentless rain have caused panic and misery across the UK. Most worrying of all events occurred early this morning as the Ulley Dam in Sheffield began to crack, as the weight of the abnormally high rainfall...
Scientists have discovered the remains of a prehistoric penguin, some 5 feet in height, dating back some 35million years.