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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest DayBanks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
Sony to Open "The Interview" in IranIn a surprise move, the Sony Corporation has announced that they will now be opening their beleaguered film in Iran. "Let Iran fight it out with North Korea.It's a win-win!" said a Sony spokesperson.
Terrorist Orphans Threaten to Shut Down "Annie"The Guardians of Paternity threatened to carpet movie theaters with dirty diapers if they dare to open that affront to orpans, the new movie Annie.
"As if one wasn't enough!" spoke a GOPer.
Obama Outsources Legislative Branch To Mumbai Management FirmThe administration has high hopes for successful governance. Congress, deeply involved with itself, has not noticed the change.
NIAGARA FALLS IS MOVINGThe city of Chicago, in an attempt to calm everybody down, has purchased Niagara Falls. "We are going to put it right next to Wrigley Field!" Exclained the mayor.
Spoof Writer Accosted by Bill CosbyCal Jennings claims to have been sexually abused by Bill Cosby. Hopes to get his million.
Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns LineUnwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
Update On Ruble And Feather RaceHouston: The feather has landed. The Russian ruble continues to fall…
Not What you Think at AllCCTCT or the compulsion to disprove conspiracy theory has been officially diagnosed as a psychological ailment by the World Psychiatric Association in service to the New World Order. A new drug called Serenity has been introduced to combat it.
At last, Fakebook dismisses 'dislike' button as far too vegetativeUh, negative?
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