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Showing stories written by Zander Kaufman

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Funny story: Area packrat sill doesn't know what to do with hoard of AOL disks

Area packrat sill doesn't know what to do with hoard of AOL disks

Greenville, Mississippi -- Since 1994 Nick Russell has been receiving free trial disks from American online. AOL the worlds largest internet service provider has been sending out their trial disks for over ten years.
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Funny story: Elderly woman finds God in basement

Elderly woman finds God in basement

Oakland, Iowa- Rose Brogan a local resident of Oakland, Iowa clams she found God in her basement. Brogan 87, said it all started when a group of Mormon missionaries knocked on her door.
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Funny story: Can Krispy Kreme turn you GAY? Asks Jerry Falwell

Can Krispy Kreme turn you GAY? Asks Jerry Falwell

Today while addressing his Television flock of millions. The Reverend Jerry Falwell posed the question: Do Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, turn people Gay? This analogy comes three year's after he stated on his television program that "Tinky Winkey" the purp...
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Funny story: Area man attempts Contact High

Area man attempts Contact High

Riverside Iowa- John Henry proclaimed loudly to neighbors, that even thought an entire amount of an un-known narcotic was lost to a neighborhood bonfire it would not be lost to him. "Don't worry watch this," Henry said. It was then that Henry alleged...
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Funny story: Bush orders 420 removed from national time keeping system

Bush orders 420 removed from national time keeping system

Washington- Today on the advice of attorney general John Ashcroft, President Bush announced that the U.S. will be phasing out 4:20 on the US ti...
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Funny story: Assholes to retire The Finger

Assholes to retire The Finger

Pine Bluff, North Dakota-...
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Funny story: The short die poor and lonely

The short die poor and lonely

In a new government study released today that show new facts that lead scientists to believe that short men and women die poor and lonely. This comes a week after a report showed tall people die younger then others.
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Funny story: Ralph Nader just about Screwed

Ralph Nader just about Screwed

Today Ralph Nader the Green party leader and presidential and hopeful presidential candidate without being registered in any state for contender in the 2004 presidential race was today offered the role as presidential candidate for the Reform party.
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Funny story: Ralph Nader flips out in Texas court room

Ralph Nader flips out in Texas court room

Austin, Texas- On Monday green party leader and presidential candidate Ralph Nader filed papers to sue the state of Texas. This comes a day after m...
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Funny story: Euro space race is on, Italian's build first pasta spacecraft

Euro space race is on, Italian's build first pasta spacecraft

Yesterday European Scientists successfully conducted a test of the "Phoenix craft". The Phoenix is a German build spacecraft for use in the joint European space shuttle program. In the 90 seconds of flight the craft reached speeds of 450 kilometers p...
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Funny story: New study shows ugly parents more likely to have ugly children

New study shows ugly parents more likely to have ugly children

Virgin Utah- Steve White, head scientist at Kramer labs held a press conference today showing new findings from a five year fact finding missi...
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Funny story: Local weather man goes ape after ill-predicted weekend forecast

Local weather man goes ape after ill-predicted weekend forecast

Omaha, Nebraska- Stan Flowers a local weather man for WOAX channel 4, forecasted a bright sunny rain free weekend, weather great for the whole fami...
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Funny story: God to put humanity up for lease due to record low fundraising

God to put humanity up for lease due to record low fundraising

Today God Almighty announced that due to record low fundraising he is forced to put up humanity up for lease or possible sale. "It just costs too much, I mean the lighting bill up here is a real Bitch" God said in his east Haven penthouse.
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Funny story: Kermit the frog's assassin Slain in Police garage

Kermit the frog's assassin Slain in Police garage

An earlier report made to the spoof, told of the tragic events following an early morning parade in honor of the Muppets creator Jim Hanson. where In which Kermit the Frog, probably best known as Hanson's favorite creation was gunned down on the moto...
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Funny story: Klan announces new Hispanic membership

Klan announces new Hispanic membership

Hope, Arkansas Today the Klu Klux Klan announced that they will be seeking membership from Hispanics, Asians and Indian Americans. Gra...
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Funny story: Sharpton, Kuncinich, Nelson Beat the crap out of Kerry

Sharpton, Kuncinich, Nelson Beat the crap out of Kerry

Today while visiting a Kansas city liquor store presidential hopeful John Kerry was attacked.
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Funny story: ABE Lincoln Reanimates kicks President Bush's Ass, destroys White House

ABE Lincoln Reanimates kicks President Bush's Ass, destroys White House

Washington George Bush and country music star Toby Keith met with Chief burros of the MUGO islands today to thank him for there support in the invasion and occupation of Iraq, MUGO population 400 and is on the list of the coalition of the will...
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Breaking News...

Roll away the stone as magicians stage effort to tart up Houdini's grave

Harry Houdini's remains have vanished and the sepulchre is empty, surprise surprise
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