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Showing stories written by Hugh Plonnka

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Funny story:  Petrol to hit record highs

Petrol to hit record highs

Solihull, Tuesday - Anti-car weirdos were given reason to cheer Tuesday morning after it was revealed petrol prices are due to soar to £1.99 a litre by the end of this month (March 2010). The alarming decline in the value of the pound (now officia...
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Funny story:  PM Brown relieved of duties

PM Brown relieved of duties

PM Brown was sensationally relieved of his duties by the (Hull City) Labour Party (FC) on Monday morning following his outrageous outburst against the strike action of British Airways staff over the weekend. It has been suggested by sources close...
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Funny story:  Salary Cap to "destroy Premier League"

Salary Cap to "destroy Premier League"

Norwich - Radical plans to overhaul the pay of Premier League footballers were announced Monday by Chief Executive Lord Peter Scudamore. "We are committed to ensuring that: our fans get value for money; our players are paid according to what their...
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Funny story:  Lottery funding for army veterans

Lottery funding for army veterans

London - There was some cheer for Army veterans early Monday morning when the Big Lottery Fund announced it will be launching its "Forces In Mind" programme later this month, with an initial kitty of £35m. The programme has been designed to help A...
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Funny story:  Economy 'to grow slower in 2011'

Economy 'to grow slower in 2011'

London - A leading business group, the British Chambers of Commerce (the BCC for short), issued a stark warning Sunday following the UK's weak exit from recession. Spokesman Jeremy Idle told reporters outside his house that the UK's tallest busine...
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Funny story:  ITV and the BBC - it's war!

ITV and the BBC - it's war!

London, Tuesday - The BBC today announced their autumn schedule, which includes, according to Director General Greg Karpitt-Muntcher, a "brand new concept in reality television".
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Funny story:  Exposed! Jailbird Paris Stuffs Pussy

Exposed! Jailbird Paris Stuffs Pussy

LA, Monday - Troubled heiress Paris Hilton's stay in prison took an unexpected twist in the early hours of Monday morning.
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Funny story:  MP in call for Speed Camera "Cull"

MP in call for Speed Camera "Cull"

London, Monday - Conservative MP, and shadow Transport secretary, Cameron David has called for a "cull" of speed cameras on UK roads following figures released on Monday morning.
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Funny story:  Murray and Federer Pull Out Of Wimbledon

Murray and Federer Pull Out Of Wimbledon

London, Friday - The tennis world was left reeling from revelations from the camps of both Andy Murray and Roger Federer on Friday.
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Funny story:  Prisoners in £2.5m payout

Prisoners in £2.5m payout

London, Friday - You could be forgiven for thinking, reading the above headline, that a lottery syndicate (of prisoners) has scooped the midweek jackpot, but nothing could be further from the truth.
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Funny story:  Barrymore and two others arrested

Barrymore and two others arrested

Thursday, Essex - Police have arrested television personality Michael Barrymore at his home, according to a statement by Essex Police on Thursday.
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Funny story:  Sir Alan Defends Interview Techniques

Sir Alan Defends Interview Techniques

London, Wednesday - Ahead of tonight's final of "The Apprentice" airing on BBC1 at 9pm, Sir Alan Sugar has spoken out against the critics of his and his associates' interview approach.
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Funny story:  Judge denies flashing at commuter

Judge denies flashing at commuter

London, Tuesday - One of the UK's top and most respected judges, Sir Richard Stephens, strenuously denied "flashing" at a young female commuter in court on Tuesday.
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Funny story:  Hirst reveals reality plans

Hirst reveals reality plans

London, Sunday - Controversial artist Damien Hirst has revealed plans for a new reality TV show at the unveiling of his latest controversial masterpiece, a diamond human skull.
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Funny story:  Britons think bacon comes from humans

Britons think bacon comes from humans

It emerged on Friday that over 53% of Britons (53.01% to be exact) believe that the contents of their morning fry-up, except the fried bread, come from recently deceased human beings.
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Funny story:  Fertility rate at 26-year high

Fertility rate at 26-year high

London, Thursday - The fertility rate in the UK is at its highest rate for 26 years, with more and more women having babies in their late 30s and early 40s.
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Funny story:  Djokovic charges into semi

Djokovic charges into semi

Wimbledon, Wednesday - Novak Djokovic, the sixth seed in this year's French Open men's singles, produced some of the best tennis seen at this year's tournament to see off the brave challenge of Igor Andreev in the quarter finals.
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Funny story:  William and Harry deeply distressed over photos

William and Harry deeply distressed over photos

Channel 4 have confirmed that they will be showing photographs of Princess Diana's death, but that is of little interest to her sons, Their Royal Highnesses William and Harry.
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Breaking News...

Eminent Authority Opines on Hillary's Claim of Impoverishment

"Hillary Clinton claiming to be broke is like King Midas declaring himself to be homeless." M Voltaire

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