The world was only slightly shocked to hear today that this morning's suspected terrorism alert was caused by Ex Ground Force handyman Tommy Walsh.
The designers behind the much derided logo for the 2012 London Olympics have finally come up with a feasible explanation for the monstrosity, much to the public's relief.
The financial markets of the world are bracing themselves for an economic nosedive into depression as Bill Gates revealed on Monday he actually has no money.
Former Butler to Princess Diana Paul Burrell has announced the latest additions to his growing range of Diana themed merchandise.
After filing a request to the Government under the freedom of information act it has been revealed MI5 were behind the 2005 fire at the Aardman Animations warehouse.
Following their meeting with the Pope the parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann are rumoured to be appearing on stage in a production of Oliver Twist this Christmas.
U2 frontman Bono caused a media furore by repeatedly punching a remote African town's only goat during a live broadcast at the Liberty Medal awards announcement.
Social scientists have warned Manchester United stars past and present to stop making appeals for missing children, as they have been found to have negative consequences.
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