(Si Cofant, Royal correspondent): The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have moved into their first royal residence as a married couple, an apartment in Kensington Palace. The Duchess was said to have been 'overwhelmed' when she saw it for the first tim...
[Burnley Echo] Conspiracy theorists were buzzing today after photographs were published of what appears to be a crop circle in a pensioner's garden. The out-of-this-world design, which resembles a giant penis, was first spotted by eager-eyed grandmot...
[AP, Chipping Sodbury] It was revealed today that a Chinese investment consortium is attempting to buy the British Royal Family. Wun Hung Lo, acquisitions representative for the Happy Lucky Investment Company number 4 based in Long Dong province of n...
Following their announcement earlier this week that Google is to roll-out both voice and picture-recognition searches to computers, Buster Gonad, an insider explained that the company has something 'much bigger, much clever-er' up it's sleeve.
'We...
German authorities are today rushing to cover-up an error relating to the latest E-Coli outbreak . It was announced earlier this week that the worst E.Coli outbreak in living memory had been traced to a bacterium found in noodles produced in Germany.
[Press Office, Number 10] The government today denied making a U-turn with regard the investigation of the brutal murder and body dumping of Dr. David Kelly, a nuclear weapons specialist and part-time Santa Claus at Debenhams.
Announcing today th...
Britain's first Asian-Style Prostrate Examination Clinic was closed down today after a series of complaints by patients. In an unprecedented move, 14 Asian nurses were suspended pending investigation into their medical credentials.
The British Med...
David Cameron today sought to pour oil on the waters following Archbishop Rowan Williams' outburst whilst guest-editing The Spectator, Britain's biggest subscription-based voyeur magazine.
'We all have a right to express our political views' said...
Pahrump, Nevada: Following the announcement of his retirement last week, popular radio host Art Bell admitted to a stunned media that for the past twenty years he has been overseeing a trickle-release of sensitive mis-information as...
(Leuters, Beijing) - There is increasing global concern as to the quality of goods being exported from China to the West. In recent months tests on products ranging from dog food to battleships have revealed increasing levels of sub-standard workmans...
(Gay Press) Sacha Cucksoccer, Royal correspondent: In a media leak today it was revealed that the British Royal Family are planning to revive their flagging popularity by bringing Princess Diana back from the dead.
(Ass. Wipe) - Palestine: Following Gordon Brown's newly announced cabinet, Rabid Cameroon's re-shuffled Shadow cabinet and Sir Minging Cowgirl's re-shuffled Runners-Up cabinet, Palestine's Farta Party underwent a similar re-organisati...
Security experts are meeting today to discuss the implementation of a new Terror Alert system. The current system, which has five levels ranging from 'Tickety-Boo' through to 'Critical' is claimed to be insufficient to meet the needs...
It emerged today that Police officers from the UK's new Anti-Terrorism Armed Response Unit have raided a second doctor's surgery in Glasgow. Following a name listed in a discarded telephone directory close to the scene of the Glasgow attack,...
DAOT or 'Death by Act Of Terrorism' is predicted to topple MRSA as the biggest killer of patients in British hospitals in the near future, experts warn. They put the move away from virus-based dangers down to the fact that the NHS appears to...
Prince 'Elsie' Edward and Sophie's second baby is due in December. The Countess of Wessex was said to be "as happy as a pig in shit" yesterday as Buckingham Palace announced she is expecting her second child.
Japanese defence Minister Fu Kyamutha resigned today after a comment he made in a speech on Saturday was taken the wrong way. Mistakenly believing that everyone had heard the old joke about the Mayor of Hiroshima's last words, the punchline drew...
Presidents Bush and Putin met today and completely repaired U.S.-Russian relations, which have been strained in recent months over White House plans to install a nuclear missile on the lawn outside the Kremlin.