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Showing stories written by Dick Merrick, Jr.

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Funny story: Americans Think Dying is Patriotic

Americans Think Dying is Patriotic

A recent poll has shown that a majority of Americans are so stupid that they would rather die than have the government provide healthcare for them. The poll also shows that the people who need a government healthcare plan the most have been brainw...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Still An Inspiration To Young Golfers

Tiger Woods Still An Inspiration To Young Golfers

Tiger Woods, after his impassioned confession and apology, is more of an inspiration to young golfers than ever before. Before Tigers sexual indiscretions were made known golfers were considered the nerds of the sports world. Now young golfers ev...
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Funny story: Padmits She's a Moron; Crowds Cheer

Padmits She's a Moron; Crowds Cheer

Former US Vice Presidential candidate and dysfunctional red neck family mom sarah Palin has officially declared herself a moron. Palin announced her moron status to a cheering crowd of thousands of very white, well armed, stupid people at a Tea Party...
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Funny story: Sen. John McCain Adopts Col. Kurtz Apocalypse Now Personna

Sen. John McCain Adopts Col. Kurtz Apocalypse Now Personna

U.S. Presidential hopefull Senator John McCain appeared before the press and a large crowd in Pennsylvania yesterday dressed in a bright orange kaftan surrounded by a group of followers carrying automatic weapons and what seemed to be the severed hea...
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Funny story: Dr. Jeckyl and Hanna Montana

Dr. Jeckyl and Hanna Montana

Miley Cyrus had been diagnosed with a rare multiple personality disorder brought on by ingesting a potion created by Dr. Henry Jeckyl from the Jeckyl and Hyde Institute of Los Angeles California. The chemical potion derived from a mixture of Aloe Ver...
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Funny story: Every Actor in Hollywood Overdoses on Drugs At Same Time

Every Actor in Hollywood Overdoses on Drugs At Same Time

Los Angeles hospitals and emergency rooms were taxed to the limit when every actor in Hollywood overdosed on prescription medication at the same time.
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Funny story: Kate Blanchet to Portray Ozzie Osbourne

Kate Blanchet to Portray Ozzie Osbourne

Fresh from her breakthrough performance as the young Bob Dylan in "I'm Not There", actress Kate Blanchet has signed to play the young Ozzie Osbourne in his film bio entitled "I Can't Talk."...
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Funny story: Obama Admits He's Really Irish

Obama Admits He's Really Irish

American Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has revealed that he has played the race card for years in order to promote his political career.
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Funny story: Gibson makes shocking revelation

Gibson makes shocking revelation

"I'm Gay", revealed Gibson in an interview with a Coming Out Magazine reporter on Friday. "And so is Russell Crone. We've been banging each other for years!"...
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Funny story: Falwell Reincarnated as Aborted Fetus

Falwell Reincarnated as Aborted Fetus

In an unprecedented an ironic turn of spiritual events, Jerry Falwell, the recently deceased creator of The Moral Majority and fanatic anti-abortion activist, was reincarnated as the aborted fetus of a crack head, unwed prostitute from Newark, New Je...
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Funny story: Dead Suicide Bomber Angry Over Lack of Virgins in Heaven

Dead Suicide Bomber Angry Over Lack of Virgins in Heaven

Muhammed Yabba Dabbadu speaking from heaven through an unidentified Muslim Cleric complained bitterly about the lack of virgins he found in heaven after blowing himself up.
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Funny story: Paul McCartney Announces Engagement to Headless Cadaver

Paul McCartney Announces Engagement to Headless Cadaver

Fresh off high profile divorce proceedings with amputee gold digger/dance contestant Heather Mills, Ex Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has proved once again that love is all you need.
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Funny story: Poll Shows American Troops Plan to Keep Killing Innocent Civillians After Return From Iraq

Poll Shows American Troops Plan to Keep Killing Innocent Civillians After Return From Iraq

A recent Gallup Poll of US Troops returning to America indicated that more than 80% said they would continue to kill innocent civilians when returning to their respective home towns.
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Funny story: God Gives Bush Timeline to Withdraw Troops Bush Vows to Veto

God Gives Bush Timeline to Withdraw Troops Bush Vows to Veto

US President George W. Bush, known for his many conversations with God, may have hit a snag in their relationship. God has joined Democrats in urging the President to provide a timeline for withdrawl of US troops from Iraq.
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Funny story: Borat Invented Sasha Baron Cohen Character

Borat Invented Sasha Baron Cohen Character

Borat, the Ubekastani news reporter made famous by the movie of the same name actually invented the character known as Sasha Baron Cohen.
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Funny story: Blair Admits Political Career A Practical Joke

Blair Admits Political Career A Practical Joke

Prime Minister Tony Blair revealed yesterday to reporters that he has been a long time fan of the late US comedian Andy Kaufman and Kaufman's routines inspired him to perpetrate a "goof" of international proportions on the public.
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Funny story: McCain to Run Campaign From Tiger Cage

McCain to Run Campaign From Tiger Cage

Senator John McCain will make all speeches, participate in all debates and run his entire campaign from a bamboo tiger cage similar to the one in was imprisoned in during the Vietnam War. McCain aides stated that the angry, confused Senator who still...
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Funny story: Senator Barack Obama to Officially Change Name

Senator Barack Obama to Officially Change Name

In a bold attempt to further increase his chances in his bid for the 2008 Democratic Presidential Nominations, Senator Barack Obama announced plans to change his name in time for the first presidential primary.
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Breaking News...

Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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