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Drunken Man Awakens on South Beach

Funny story: Drunken Man Awakens on South Beach

The sun's rays began to beat down on Miami's South Beach around twelve noon today, awaking Chad Breeford from his still-drunken stupor gained from a Friday night of club hopping and tikki-bar desecrating. As family beach-goers jockeyed for th...

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Hot Prospect Aims for Big Leagues

Funny story: Hot Prospect Aims for Big Leagues

The St. Louis Cardinals announced today a 58-year-old prospect in their AAA affiliate made "great strides" in his campaign to make the big-league club. George W. Bush, nicknamed "Mortar" (since the nickname "the Rocket" was taken) came to the Car...

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Bush Tells Press he Served in War, Shows Self in Action

Funny story: Bush Tells Press he Served in War, Shows Self in Action

Washington, DC -- President George Bush met with reporters today to clear the air about his confusing military past.

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White House to be Outsourced to India

Funny story: White House to be Outsourced to India

Washington, DC - President Bush today announced that the White House will be outsourced to Chennai, India. "All jobs within the White House, except the President and Vice President, will move to India" announced Bush today. President Bush...

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Al Gore to Partner with AMC for Environment

Funny story: Al Gore to Partner with AMC for Environment

Tennessee - Al Gore today announced a partnership with AMC, makers of the Hum-Vee (Hummer), H2 and H3 SUV's. Gore and AMC have founded an advocacy group to raise money to save the environment. They are calling their partnership: "SUV's...

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Two of Santa's Reindeer on the Lam

Funny story: Two of Santa's Reindeer on the Lam

North Pole - Today Santa's Little Helper Gazette reported that two of Santa's reindeer have escaped the North Pole Toy Factory and Compound and are on the lam. "Donner and Blitzen have escaped," shouted Santa Claus above the clatter, as he t...

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Aliens Make Galactic Mistake in Probe Placement

Funny story: Aliens Make Galactic Mistake in Probe Placement

Backwater, TN - Aliens from the planet ~Frdcfvbflbmt! today admitted a massive mistake when they accidentally inserted a standard-issue redneck anal probe into a host's mouth.

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Mexican Condom Company Introduces "Son-Brero"

Funny story: Mexican Condom Company Introduces "Son-Brero"

Oahaca, Mexico---- Mexican condom manufacturer Fornicada today unveiled its latest latex creation, the "Son-Brero".

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Lohan Wows Red Carpet at Premier

Funny story: Lohan Wows Red Carpet at Premier

Lindsay Lohan looked positively Emo in a throwback Marine uniform as she stepped onto the red carpet for the premier of her latest movie: "Sobriety".

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Florida Bans 'Early Bird' Dinner Specials: Pensioners Flee in Droves

Funny story: Florida Bans 'Early Bird' Dinner Specials: Pensioners Flee in Droves

Minneowakmookookeekee, FL---The Florida Senate today upheld and passed a law proposed by the Florida House, banning restaurants from having "Early Bird Special" buffets. This has come in the wake of statewide violence amongst octogenarians...

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Construction Continues on Bush Monument to Self

Funny story: Construction Continues on Bush Monument to Self

Washington, DC -- Construction continues on the George W. Bush Monument and Triumphal Arch, and is still slated for completion January 20, 2009. The monument was suggested by Bush a year ago, and, with his backing, was approved and signed into law.

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Candyland Volcano Erupts: Residents Evacuated

Funny story: Candyland Volcano Erupts: Residents Evacuated

Nostalgia, Candyland -- Long-smouldering Mount Jimmy erupted in Candyland today, imperiling the surrounding village of Lollipop Woods, which had to be evacuated. Mt. Jimmy spewed forth a rain of toxic jimmies on Lollipop Woods and set fire to many o...

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CBS to Release Newest CSI Installment

Funny story: CBS to Release Newest CSI Installment

Hollywood, CA -- CBS today announced it will launch another CSI (Crime Scene Investigation) spin-off. This time the popular, self-spawning show will take place in Brazil. Get ready for "CSI: Rio de Janeiro".

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History Channel to Launch Latest Documentary Series About Hitler And the Nazis

Funny story: History Channel to Launch Latest Documentary Series About Hitler And the Nazis

Hollywood, FL - The History Channel announced today it will air it's newest docudrama series centered around Hitler, the Nazi regime, and World War II. The new show is entitled "The Hidden Great War in Germany" and examines specific aspects of the w...

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DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

Funny story: DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

Washington, DC - Members of the Board of Trustees for the National Park Services and officials at the U.S Department of the Interior today unveiled plans for a new Kennedy Memorial, to honor all of the dynastic family's many contributions to Amer...

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Boy George to Release New Album

Funny story: Boy George to Release New Album

Los Angeles, CA - Musical Icon and paint palette Boy George, of Culture Club and solo artist fame, is set to release his first new album in eleven years.

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'Forgotten Bush' Ponders Political Future

Funny story: 'Forgotten Bush' Ponders Political Future

Bent Ring, AL - Jed, George Herbert, and of course, "Dubya". We all know the names of this modern day "Scam-a-lot" political dynasty. But what about Elmer Bush? The quiet, slow, middle son of the Bush family, a local government representative in hi...

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Good Humor Truck Overturned in Riots

Funny story: Good Humor Truck Overturned in Riots

Parrish, WI - A teeming horde of upper elementary students at Wokum Elementary today rocked and tipped a Good Humor Ice Cream truck, its smoldering hull still visible by the curbside. During 2nd recess break from classes, an unsuspecting and hapless...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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