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We are not amused

The Queen was clearly irritated by the noisy Italian Leader Mr Berlusconi yesterday at the G20 summit. Her Majesty posed for photographs with world leaders whilst Berlusconi was singing opera and offering ice cream to passers by. Berlusconi is kn...

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NExpress launch inspired service

Dastardly Dick Bowker head Vulture at NExpress central announced more bleak news "Despite my efforts to maintain profitability it looks like we are slipping off the rails" Dick axed the on board catering for the East Coast main line recently in an ef...

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National Express - Train Nerd debate hots up

The debate into banning train nerds from stations in order to peruse their hobbies is hotting up. Supreme train geek Pete Waterman responsible for a string a shite pop songs in the eighties said "This is diabolical, National Express are putting an en...

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A Goody waste of space

Funny story: A Goody waste of space

Jade Goody, half human half Alsatian has made the headlines again for no apparent reason other than the fact she is dying from cancer. In hospitals and care homes across Britain people who have lived fulfilling lives are in the same predicament. With...

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Train Nerds indentified as terror threat

Funny story: Train Nerds indentified as terror threat

Train spotters are to be banned from all major stations along the East Coast route as the result of a clampdown from National Express. A spokeswoman for the Transport Salaried Staff Association said "We know NX are planning this move. The informatio...

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Nexpress East Coast crap service continues

Funny story: Nexpress East Coast crap service continues

Liquid shit - Passengers standing on platforms at Hatfield and Welwyn station are literally getting shat on by Nexpress East Coast. According to recent passenger complaints NXEC trains are spraying liquid shit on passengers as the train enters the st...

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Bradford residents in uproar over pink plans

Funny story: Bradford residents in uproar over pink plans

Following on from the fiasco to brighten up Bradford centre one council leader tried to calm residents fears by saying: "Look, I know Bradford may be a disease riddled festering sump of putrid matter. Full of obnoxious toe rags you wouldn't pee on if...

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Bowkers Last Supper

Funny story: Bowkers Last Supper

The cockerel crows and the ghoul has arisen. It's the last supper for the East Coast Main Line Crucified Richard Bowker is a graduate of the Richard Branson school of management but with none of the aptitude. Flitting from job to job and leavin...

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The Golden Age of British Media

Channel 4 will show still images of Prices Diana's last moments on TV tonight despite request from Prince William and Price Harry for them to refrain.

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Bad day for the Devil as Jerry Falwell gets sent down

Funny story: Bad day for the Devil as Jerry Falwell gets sent down

Extremist Jerry Falwell, the controversial homophobic arsehole and evangelical lunatic has died of a heart attack. "Good bloody riddance" said the Reverend Ian Paisley. "He will burn in ever lasting flame for his twist...

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Euro-disaster as Scootch make an arse of it

Funny story: Euro-disaster as Scootch make an arse of it

Scooch, the British entry into this-years Eurovision Song Contest flew back into Heathrow yesterday evening to scenes of hysteria. People cheered "You're crap!" and "Tossers!"...

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Torture in Iraq as Baghdad hosts Eurovision Song Contest

Tony Blair pulled off one last insult when he persuaded the Eurovision organisers to move the World Famous Song Contest final from Helsinki to Baghdad.

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Blair Steps Down

Funny story: Blair Steps Down

An almost great showbiz entertainer finally hangs up his dancing shoes today.

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Bush in Queen Cockup

Funny story: Bush in Queen Cockup

President George W. Bush embarrassed the Queen at the White House in front of a packed audience. His speech started well saying: "It's a real pleasure to have The Queen here in America." But rapidly went down hill with, "I was upse...

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Terror rapper wife arrested

The wife of the jailed terror rapper Mrs Jalalala Wowo has been arrested for raising funds with menaces. Police arrested her on Monday evening she was questioned at London's Paddington Green police station.

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Peter Andre in brain scare

Funny story: Peter Andre in brain scare

Peter Andre the sickly faced playmate of inflatable model Jordan has been discharged from hospital.

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French presidential battle heats up

Funny story: French presidential battle heats up

As the race for the French presidential election heats up our foreign policy reporter Danny Buckle investigates.

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Calls for inquiry into terror rappers investigation

Funny story: Calls for inquiry into terror rappers investigation

The Conservative leader David Cameron lead calls for a public inquiry into the hip hop rappers investigation, following on from yesterday's outrage at terror rappe...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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