WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP Newsliar) -- The U.S. Congressional Booster Club, run by the mothers of currently sitting U.S. representatives and senators, has raised $1400 in funding towards the purchase of new ties.
"Many of our little darlings are still...
WASHINGTON DC (AP Newsliar) - A Pew Research Center poll of current U.S. presidents reveals that the approval rating of American voters has plummeted from 100% in January, 2009 to 0% in July, showing that sitting U.S. presidents now overwhelmingly St...
WASHINGTON D.C. (AP Newsliar) -- The Apollo 11 astronauts and mission control flight directors met with President Obama today to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the first moon landing's 20th anniversary.
"It was 20 years ago today that we met in...
WASHINGTON DC (AP Newsliar) - The parade for Barack Obama's inauguration as 44th president crash landed into the Hudson River today, sending all 10,000+ participants fleeing for safety from the icy waters and startling thousands of New Yorkers who ha...
WASHINGTON D.C. (AP Newsliar) -- A turkey pardoned President Bush today in a ceremony in the Rose Garden of the White House, in Washington.
Presidents since Truman have pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey yearly in this decades-old White House traditio...
AP NEWSLIAR (Wash. DC) -- Ducks nationwide have filed a class-action lawsuit against the People of the United States. The lawsuit charges that use of the phrase "lame duck" in reference to the soon-to-be over Bush administration constitutes slander.
NEW YORK, NY (AP Newsliar) - An early version of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" has been discovered in the upper west side building where the famed American poet and author once lived.
HOUSTON, TX (AP Newsliar) -- Federal air marshals charged an astronaut with groping a female payload specialist aboard space shuttle Atlantis.
DAYTON, OH (AP Newsliar) -- This "The Spoof" reporter would like to publicly proclaim that Ron Paul is the greatest candidate who ever lived. Even better than Ronald Reagan. Way, way better than those hacks Romney and Giuliani.
DAYTONA BEACH, FL (AP Newsliar) -- The Invisible Man expressed consternation yesterday that nobody could see the truly righteous tan he has been working on.
HAMBURG, GERMANY (AP Newsliar) A recent survey conducted to gage the opinions of climate researchers reveals there is now consensus on the fact that there is no consensus on the question of whether global warming is predominantly caused by human acti...
AUSTIN, TX (AP Newsliar) -- A Ron Paul supporter collapsed from exhaustion after spending 36 hours straight on the Internet, posting pro-Paul comments on various blogs, repeatedly viewing videos to pad the stats of the Ron Paul YouTube channel, and s...
MITCHELL, SOUTH DAKOTA (AP Newsliar) -- A freelance photographer frequently employed by AP Newsliar captured her assailant on film today as the man tried to fondle her fun-bags.
HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY (AP Newsliar) -- Three little kittens lost their mittens this morning in an apparent burglary, police reported today.
BERKELEY, CA (AP Newsliar) -- A new study conducted by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley has revealed that researchers are sick and tired of conducting studies.
ATLANTA, GA (AP Newsliar) -- The American Library Association (ALA) is issuing its first ever "Librarian Hotties" calendar. The calendar will be available for ordering this November.
AP Newsliar -- After a lengthy selection process, Bald Eagles have chosen humans to be the national primate of the United States.
SAN DIEGO, CA (AP Newsliar) -- Gorillas and chimpanzees broke a decades long silence today to voice their chagrin at having lost the space race to humans.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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