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Fire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump

It would appear that everyone misunderstood President Trump's threats to North Korea, when he said, "They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before." Reacting to provocative nuclear missile t...

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Trump: Lost In Translation

American President Donald Trump recently visited France for Bastille Day festivities, and took the time out from his busy schedule of insulting C-List celebrities on Twitter to sit down with the French media. It was not a good idea. Believing t...

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Trump: It's your wall...literally!

At a Trump rally attended by the hordes of hillbillies, rednecks, and cracker-heads that constitute President Trump's base, the Commander-In-Chief released his newest plan to build the infamous border wall between the U.S. and Mexico. "I was watch...

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Trump Seeks Help From George Costanza On How To Lie Better

It's been revealed that President Trump's skill at lying (oh, excuse me, -- alternative facts) can be traced back to the secret hiring of the little-known position of Secretary of Not-Lies. The man that has accepted the position is a resident of...

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Trump Offers $5,000,000 For Obama's Outer Space Report Cards

He's at it again, and he's doing it just before Dennis Rodman bites Gary Busey's ears off. Donald Trump, full-time billionare and promininent whackadoodle, has challenged President Obama to a monetary stare-down, coincidentally just before his tra...

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Second Presidential Debate; Brainwashing For Everyone!

Following the second Presidential debate for the right to rule the world as we know it, some surprising footage has been unearthed that seems to show that we've all been mind-wiped. Following an outraged outburst from Mitt Romney, who told a quest...

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Romney: Face To Darker Face

Mitt Romney was caught with his pandering pants down recently, as he held a town hall-type of meeting with potential Latino voters. The problem was that he showed up with a visibly darker complexion, almost as if he had self-tanned to better fit in...

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Romney Piggybacks The Facts

Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney arranged another quickie press conference in the hopes to clear the air about his past. "It's come to my attention that the Blame-media hasn't done it's research and is letting some creep get away with an outrageo...

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Romney Clarifies Who The 47 Per Cent Really Are

Presidential hopeful, Mitt 'The Gaffe-Man' Romney has stuck his foot in his mouth again. Speaking to a group of people paying $50,000 a plate (and $2 for tips) at a fund raising dinner, Romney said that 47 % of Americans are dependent on the gover...

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Obama Overturns Second 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Bill; Fans Can Now Choose Between Jolie And Aniston

Hot on the heels of U.S. President Obama's historic repealing of the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' bill regarding gays in the military, Obama has wasted little time in repealing a second, less-known similar bill. This one originated in Hollywood, but so...

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The Real Reason Scarlett Johansson And Ryan Reynolds Are Divorcing

After just 2 years of marriage (or the equivalent amount of time NBC's 'Joey' sitcom series survived), the world's most beautiful, perfect, sexy, enigmatic, and interesting couple are going to have a nice dinner at The Keg-- meaning Mr. and Mrs. Stef...

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Coons To Delaware Voters: "I am not a genie!"

With a lead in the polls over spell-casting Delaware Tea Bagger candidate Christine O'Donnell, Democratic candidate Chris Coons has upped the ante with a provacative, "I am not a genie!" proclamation. Flanked by his wife, and the still very lovely...

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Entertainment Community Rises Up To Put An End To A Malignant Disease - Spencer Pratt

This past weekend entertainers from movies, TV, and music came together to lend their voice in a world-wide campaign to defeat the most malignant cancer of them all. No, not, *that* kind of cancer, but rather the cancer that is reality TV show doofu...

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Florida Star Wars Fan Cancels Holy Star Trek Book Burning

Funny story: Florida Star Wars Fan Cancels Holy Star Trek Book Burning

A universally-condemned fanatic of 'Star Wars' who gained world-wide negative attention for his plan to burn the holy book of 'Star Trek' on the show's anniversary of 9/8/10, has been cancelled. Published in 1997, and sporting 630 pages of facts...

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Sarah Palin Invents New Word To Get Attention

Funny story: Sarah Palin Invents New Word To Get Attention

Sarah Palin is at it again; making people's ears hurt and brains explode as they are exposed to the Alaskan Looney's unedumacated dementia. In her first attempt to mangle the English language, via Twitter she asked 'peaceful Muslims' to 'pls refud...

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Godzilla Versus The World Cup

Funny story: Godzilla Versus The World Cup

Toho Pictures has resurrected Godzilla, and it couldn't be a moment too soon. His newest giant monster target; the wretched, buzzing vuvuzela horn torturing soccer/football fans across the globe as they tune in or attend the World Cup. The deta...

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Sarah Palin Hands In Her Speech To Teabaggers

Funny story: Sarah Palin Hands In Her Speech To Teabaggers

Sarah Palin's hypocrisy has been exposed and everyone from the Democrats, to the late-night talk show hosts, to the 12-year old science teacher that taught the ex-governor everything she knows, is having a ball shedding light on Crib-Notes Palin.

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Jamaica: The Number One Ally On The War On Terror

It turns out that one of America's favorite places to drink rum, listen to Reggae, and get mugged five blocks from their hotel, has revealed itself as one of America's strongest allies in the War On Terror. For decades, Americans have enjoyed the...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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