Due to his rapidly deteriorating poll numbers among conservatives, John McCain introduced a new bill on the Senate floor today.
Barack Obama today responded to a poem John McCain recited at a campaign rally last week. McCain's poem compared Obama to a terrorist and warned that "he...
John McCain recited a poem he wrote about Sen. Barack Obama at a campaign stop in Iowa. In it, he hinted that Barack Obama is a terrorist who will kill Americans if elected.
The Oakland Raiders shocked the football world when they selected actress/humanitarian/mother Angelina Jolie as their top pick in the NFL draft. Raider's owner, Al Davis, said he fully expects Jolie to show up for training camp in August, althou...
Hugh Grant's reign of terror continued today when he assaulted a meter maid with a pan of hot blueberry muffins. The victim, an unidentified male, suffered first degree burns on his forearm. This follows Grant's "baked beans" atta...
Just days after adopting a southern drawl for a political rally at a black church, Sen. Hillary Clinton today appeared to take on a "gangsta rap" dialect when speaking to a Snoop Dog convention in Compton, CA.
(Sydney, Australia) Shock waves were sent all throughout Australia last night when tragedy struck a popular children's band. "The Wiggles", an Australian band for pre-schoolers, were performing at a concert in Melbourne when one of the...
Former Senator Bob Dole is set to appear in Viagra's new television ad campaign promoting their newest product, "Two-Bagger Viagra". Company spokeswoman, Mariann Caprino, says the the new drug helps men who are no longer physically att...
(Washington, DC) President Bush hosted Earth Day festivities today on the White House lawn. Events included drag racing on Pennsylvania Avenue, cookouts, an air show, military fire power display, a lumberjack competition, a turkey shoot and free SU...
After hearing John McCain sing "bomb, bomb, bomb...bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the popular Beach Boy's song, "Barbara Ann", at a campaign rally in So...
(New York) David Blaine, known for his unique style of street magic and outrageous, death-defying stunts, has planned his next big attraction which he is calling "Eaten Alive."...
President Bush today linked Iran to the shootings earlier this week at Virginia Tech. Speaking from the Oval Office, Bush detailed how he believes Iran is responsible and what action America should take.
A public school in San Francisco has decided to ban all references to Earth Day this year because of the fear that it might offend anyone who might be visiting here from another planet.
Cal Ripken, "The Iron Man" of professional baseball who holds the record of playing in 2632 consecutive games, recently celebrated a new streak with his 2,000 consecutive day of retirement.
In a stark contrast to the Bush Administration's official policy regarding Hell and it's leader, Satan, Nancy Pelosi announced today she will meet with the Dark Lord in an effort to normalize relations between the two entities. George Bush h...