CCN (Crazy Cal News) MAGNOLIA, TEXAS - "The Tribune," the Magnolia newspaper, reports that the first grader brought a loaded gun to Ellisor Elementary on May 9th. The gun father said the 9mm Beretta wasn't loaded when the student got home. The studen...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Washington - Last night, President Obama announced to the public that he had prevented the government shutdown.
""The American people have been told the agreement contains both historic and painful cuts. Yes, some of the cu...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Washington - President Obama took to the airwaves yesterday to make a speech on his actions Libya.
"Some nations may be able to turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries. The United States of America is different.
Nigeria - Femi Babafemi, in charge of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission in Nigeria, said that Dick Cheney would "definitely" be charged for selling the Nigerians millions of American email addresses. Said Babafemi, "The email addresses he...
Washington - I recently received an email from the Tea Party pointing out a life-threatening issue that's facing America. Recently elected Tea Party members have put the incandescent light bulb on the endangered species list, fearing it will soon be...
NASA - Images from the Cassini spacecraft of Saturn's moon Titan has researchers scratching their heads. Using enhanced radar imaging, a Putt-Putt golf course was discovered near the larger of the three lakes near Titan's South pole.
"The lakes w...
NEW ORLEANS, LA - BP and federal officials claim that this latest effort could, maybe, quite possibly have some chance of working and that this isn't yet definitely, totally the end to civilization and all life on Earth. Hopes were slightly lowered...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - Since the last efforts to stop the leak have failed, BP has put their top scientists to work on the clean-up plan to protect the coast. After contacting consultants in Hollywood, the stylists have recommended p...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Gulf of Mexico - BP's plans to use the Gulf of Mexico as a crude oil separation device are proceeding as planned. The 70,000 barrels of oil proceeding from the gash in the collapsed oil rig have been separating into different...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Austin, TX - Don McLeroy's proposed May 2010 amendments to social studies curriculum standards for Texas public schools don't go far enough.
Nowhere did I see any mention of Pecos Bill being responsible for founding the ca...
CCN (Crazy Cal News)- Houston - BP CEO Tony Hayward, after passing the blame for the oil spill between its company, Halliburton, and Transocean, valiantly engineered plans to save the coast line of the United States.
After The Three Stooges of...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - BP announced a new plan to clean up the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill. Today, they will release television commercials and newspaper ads advertising free oil to anyone who can come get it. A BP spokesperson said th...
Dr. Emmett "Doc" Brown just released his latest computer, the iCom Nano. It uses a one point twenty-one jiggawatt new green Mr. Fusion power supply, as seen in "Back to the Future" and operates at 4.1 jiggahertz. It contains 16 jiggabytes of memory...
Rupert Murdoch led a rally against illegal immigration in Los Angeles Saturday with Michelle McGee. He and other white supremacists held a rally and burned books as hundreds of counter-protesters gathered to shout them down.
Approxamately 50 me...
Discovery Communications, wanting to become fair and balanced, looked to Fox News's Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential hopeful in the 2009 U.S. presidential election. Discovery, long known for it's earth-friendly offerings with such shows as the Dis...
Michelle "Bombshell" McGee says in documents filed in her custody battle for her children that she is not a Nazi scumbag.
"I do NOT have a swastika tattoo on me," the alleged mistress of Jesse James said as she quickly drew over her tattoo with a...
Today, at a press conference at the Crawford Ranch, former president Bush denied allegations of sleeping with Tony Blair, stating, "I did not have sex with that man." The statement follows Tony Blair being brought up on charges in the U.K. Former p...
Following the recent coal mine explosion that killed 29 miners, Westboro Baptist Church members staged a protest spouting hate in the name of God, carrying banners that say, "Thank God for Dead Miners," "You Will Eat Your Babies," God Hates Your Tear...