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Funny story: English plan to fight Jihadists with stiff upper-lip and tea-pins

English plan to fight Jihadists with stiff upper-lip and tea-pins

The British Government announced that it will not be forced into a "knee jerk" reaction by the provocations of the Jihadist terrorists who are currently sweeping through Iraq and Syria. "There will be no boots on the ground or in the air", said Eton-...
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Funny story: Carrie Fisher will be "taking off her headphones" in new Star Wars movie

Carrie Fisher will be "taking off her headphones" in new Star Wars movie

Princess Leia actress Carrie Fisher has agreed not to wear headphones during the filming of the latest Star Wars movie. This is believed to be a major coup for J.J. Abrams, since Fisher had worn the distinct audio accessories throughout filming of th...
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Funny story: People "too poor to commit crime"

People "too poor to commit crime"

While government sources applauded the 7% drop in crime last year, charities and social welfare groups warned that the drop is nothing to do with people being better behaved but is entirely due to the fact that people are too poor to commit crimes.
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Funny story: NSA Whistle-blower reveals that Obama isn't black

NSA Whistle-blower reveals that Obama isn't black

Spoilsport ex-spy Edward Snowden is in hiding in Hong Kong after revealing to the world one of America's closest-guarded secrets, namely that President Barack Obama isn't black. Snowden, using some Evil Genius software, commandeered every televisi...
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Funny story: Prince Harry saves soldier from fashion blunder

Prince Harry saves soldier from fashion blunder

Royal bad boy Prince Harry made a dramatic intervention last week, it was revealed, when a soldier from his unit almost bought a yellow t-shirt to wear with blue jeans. The incident occurred at a Next outlet in Afghanistan, when the private, drunk af...
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Funny story: Surgeons accidentally give transplant patient "evil hand"

Surgeons accidentally give transplant patient "evil hand"

There was embarrassment at a specialist hospital in Bradford today when it was revealed that following a 6 hour operation to give patient Robert Handy a new hand, surgeons had accidentally given him the hand of a criminal. Mr. Handy lost his left...
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Funny story: US on Fiscal Cliff as Everyone Refuses to Talk to Each Other

US on Fiscal Cliff as Everyone Refuses to Talk to Each Other

President Obama admitted that the nation is on a fiscal cliff as Democrats and Republicans have failed to reach any agreement on the budget. Democrats want to increase the number of taxis in Washington whereas thrifty Republicans want to reduce speed...
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Funny story: Egyptian protesters gather in thousands, fire guns in the air, burn effigies of someone and shout God is Great - Nope, no news here

Egyptian protesters gather in thousands, fire guns in the air, burn effigies of someone and shout God is Great - Nope, no news here

President Mohamed Morsi, fresh from mediating a truce between Hamas and Israel, dismissed protests in Cairo and other Egyptian cities about his decision to give himself Godlike powers. Morsi has dismissed the opposition, sacked all army leaders and j...
View 'Egyptian protesters gather in thousands, fire guns in the air, burn effigies of someone and shout God is Great - Nope, no news here'
Funny story: Mit Romney finds magic stones which say he will win next election

Mit Romney finds magic stones which say he will win next election

Defeated GOP hopeful Mit Romney says he is not giving up the fight for the White House after finding some magic stones in the woods outside Boston which say he will win the next election. Romney told delighted Republican supporters how an angel ap...
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Funny story: Obama wins by 303 - 206 votes, Remaining 149,999,491 voters who forgot to vote say "D'Oh!"

Obama wins by 303 - 206 votes, Remaining 149,999,491 voters who forgot to vote say "D'Oh!"

As Democrat incumbent Barack Obama won the vote for the White House by a historic 303 - 206 majority (nobody has ever won by that specific margin before), millions of voters suddenly realised that had forgotten to vote. Many found out (too late) t...
View 'Obama wins by 303 - 206 votes, Remaining 149,999,491 voters who forgot to vote say "D'Oh!"'
Funny story: Cost of monarchy rises after Queen Elizabeth goes on bingo and cider binge!

Cost of monarchy rises after Queen Elizabeth goes on bingo and cider binge!

Royal watchers have blamed the Queen for a 100% increase in the cost of subsiding the monarchy. Every year, the tax payer contributes a whopping half a million pounds towards the Royal Family (who gets their remaining several million pounds from...
View 'Cost of monarchy rises after Queen Elizabeth goes on bingo and cider binge!'
Funny story: Prince Harry drives to John O'Groats to help friend mugged on phone

Prince Harry drives to John O'Groats to help friend mugged on phone

Prince Harry sped to help a pal after he heard him being mugged as they chatted on the phone The prince, 27, quickly drove to the spot where Thomas van Straubenzee was attacked and searched for him until "intuition" took him to the local police st...
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Funny story: The Spoof denies hacking Sarah Palin's mobile phone - Mrs Palin demands to know how the Spoof found out she is a moron if not by hacking her phone

The Spoof denies hacking Sarah Palin's mobile phone - Mrs Palin demands to know how the Spoof found out she is a moron if not by hacking her phone

In a dramatic new twist to the British phone hacking saga, American hockey mom and former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has accused respected Internet tabloid paper the Spoof of hacking her mobile phone. Well, she actually said "cell" phone but that...
View 'The Spoof denies hacking Sarah Palin's mobile phone - Mrs Palin demands to know how the Spoof found out she is a moron if not by hacking her phone'
Funny story: Australians find Ned Kelly's head in Rolf Harris' didgeridoo

Australians find Ned Kelly's head in Rolf Harris' didgeridoo

Australian historians are cock a hoop after finding the head of Ozzie crime lord Ned Kelly. Kelly, a bank robber, was executed a few years ago and the dumb bastards that ran that country lost his head. That is, until it turned up in a kiwi farm la...
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Funny story: Police praise gangsters for their restraint as only 50 people stabbed at Notting Hill Carnival

Police praise gangsters for their restraint as only 50 people stabbed at Notting Hill Carnival

This year's Notting Hill Carnival passed uneventfully and police praised the public and gang members as reports came in that only 50 people were stabbed. A mere 75 people were arrested for drug-related offences and only 200 police officers were injur...
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Funny story: Scottish Government Ministers offer to play bagpipes at Megrahi's wake

Scottish Government Ministers offer to play bagpipes at Megrahi's wake

Alex Salmond and Kenny MacAskill, the architects of the early release of mass murderer Abdul Megrahi, have written to his wife following news that he may be dying, offering to play bagpipes at his wake. In a letter leaked to the Guardian, Salmond...
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Funny story: Children whose parents divorce 'more likely' to become bastards

Children whose parents divorce 'more likely' to become bastards

Children with parents who divorce or separate before they are five are more likely to become bastards when they reach 16 than children with parents who remain together, a major new study has found. Demos, the think-tank, has analysed the bastard t...
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Funny story: Syria's Assad apologises for getting pledge "not to kill people" wrong - he intended to pledge "to kill people" - thank God that's been sorted

Syria's Assad apologises for getting pledge "not to kill people" wrong - he intended to pledge "to kill people" - thank God that's been sorted

Syria's President Assad has gone on Syrian television apologising to the people for pledging not to kill people. He explained that what he should have said was that he pledged that he WOULD kill people. His English isn't brilliant, because he's a for...
View 'Syria's Assad apologises for getting pledge "not to kill people" wrong - he intended to pledge "to kill people" - thank God that's been sorted'

Showing page 1 (of 18 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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