There was embarrassment at a specialist hospital in Bradford today when it was revealed that following a 6 hour operation to give patient Robert Handy a new hand, surgeons had accidentally given him the hand of a criminal.
Mr. Handy lost his left...
President Obama admitted that the nation is on a fiscal cliff as Democrats and Republicans have failed to reach any agreement on the budget. Democrats want to increase the number of taxis in Washington whereas thrifty Republicans want to reduce speed...
President Mohamed Morsi, fresh from mediating a truce between Hamas and Israel, dismissed protests in Cairo and other Egyptian cities about his decision to give himself Godlike powers. Morsi has dismissed the opposition, sacked all army leaders and j...
Defeated GOP hopeful Mit Romney says he is not giving up the fight for the White House after finding some magic stones in the woods outside Boston which say he will win the next election.
Romney told delighted Republican supporters how an angel ap...
As Democrat incumbent Barack Obama won the vote for the White House by a historic 303 - 206 majority (nobody has ever won by that specific margin before), millions of voters suddenly realised that had forgotten to vote.
Many found out (too late) t...
Royal watchers have blamed the Queen for a 100% increase in the cost of subsiding the monarchy.
Every year, the tax payer contributes a whopping half a million pounds towards the Royal Family (who gets their remaining several million pounds from...
Prince Harry sped to help a pal after he heard him being mugged as they chatted on the phone
The prince, 27, quickly drove to the spot where Thomas van Straubenzee was attacked and searched for him until "intuition" took him to the local police st...
In a dramatic new twist to the British phone hacking saga, American hockey mom and former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has accused respected Internet tabloid paper the Spoof of hacking her mobile phone. Well, she actually said "cell" phone but that...
Australian historians are cock a hoop after finding the head of Ozzie crime lord Ned Kelly. Kelly, a bank robber, was executed a few years ago and the dumb bastards that ran that country lost his head.
That is, until it turned up in a kiwi farm la...
This year's Notting Hill Carnival passed uneventfully and police praised the public and gang members as reports came in that only 50 people were stabbed. A mere 75 people were arrested for drug-related offences and only 200 police officers were injur...
Alex Salmond and Kenny MacAskill, the architects of the early release of mass murderer Abdul Megrahi, have written to his wife following news that he may be dying, offering to play bagpipes at his wake.
In a letter leaked to the Guardian, Salmond...
Children with parents who divorce or separate before they are five are more likely to become bastards when they reach 16 than children with parents who remain together, a major new study has found.
Demos, the think-tank, has analysed the bastard t...
Syria's President Assad has gone on Syrian television apologising to the people for pledging not to kill people. He explained that what he should have said was that he pledged that he WOULD kill people. His English isn't brilliant, because he's a for...
The Ministry of Defence has announced that British fighter planes will step up their bombing campaign against Libya by switching from cabbages to bombs.
The announcement comes weeks after the military campaign to stop the Libyan Government's attac...
PC Smug Arsehole has become one of the most hated people in Britain after a jury found him responsible for the unlawful death of innocent bystander Ian Tomlinson at the G20 protest in London two years ago.
Tomlinson, a family man with a wife and t...
The US Government has released further details about how terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden died during a shoot out at his HQ in Pakistan yesterday. The evil criminal mastermind, far from dying with honour and dignity, threw a couple of female human sh...
In a right royal debacle, Kate Middleton messed up her marriage vows, taking the name of her would-be father-in-law Prince Phillip instead of her fiancé Prince William.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, who was performing the ceremony, continued, hop...
A man who dialled 999 because a stray cat had walked through his back door into his kitchen was criticised today for wasting police time and has been dumped in a bin.
The man, from Gloucester, was politely told to pick up the cat and put him out.