HOLLYWOOD, CA - Dick Cheney, one of the funniest comedians to come out Washington, D.C. in years, announced the start of his national comedy tour, "Save My Ass." Dick will bring his bizarre take on life and famous deadpan delivery to comedy clubs and...
DES MOINES, IA - As the cases of Swine Flu continue to multiply around the globe, a parallel outbreak of Swine Flew is plaguing farmers and rural residents throughout the U.S.
Iowa hog farmer David Lyons described the startling phenomena. "I came...
Washington D.C. - A just released national presidential preference poll of Republican voters has surprised politicians and pundits alike. The poll clearly demonstrates that conservative voters are unhappy with mainstream political candidates and are...
After slapping himself again during a broadcast to demonstrate the banality of CIA torture techniques, radio personality Rush Limbaugh surprised his audience by confessing on air that he is, in fact, a fat, lying buffoon who got beaten up a lot as a...
Austin, Texas - In recent statements, Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) has suggested that the state of Texas might consider seceding from the Union in response to President Obama's national policies. The Lone Star State was once a republic, and Gov. Perry i...
Washington, D.C. - In response to Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-Ala.), who claims to have a list of 17 socialists in congress, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced that she has compiled a list of 178 clinically insane members of congress. Alth...
Washington, D.C. - In a move many consider an act of desperation, presidential hopeful John McCain and his pick for VP Sarah Palin, used their final campaign stops to accuse Obama of being the Anti-Christ foretold in the bible.
"Why hasn't anybody...
Minneapolis, Minn. -- In an interview with a Twin Cities' radio station today, Minnesota rep. Michele Bachmann floated the idea of providing struggling American farmers with free feed and fertilizer consisting of ground up liberals.
"It's a win/w...
Vice presidential hopeful Sara Palin now has a gift shop on her website with campaign related products designed to appeal to her most avid supporters.
"Every cent will go toward the McCain/Palin ticket," said the staff member overseeing the endeav...
Representatives from John McCain's campaign have given the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) a list of demands related to the debate scheduled for this Thursday evening.
Democrats angrily responded by claiming the maneuver was a blatant at...
Washington, D.C. - A clearly distraught Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) fought through tears at a hastily organized press conference announcing that she will not be supporting the McCain/Palin presidential ticket after being passed over for th...
Washington, D.C. - At a press conference today, President Bush outlined the government's response plans as hurricane Gustav approaches the Gulf Coast.
"First, let me say how grateful we are that hurricane Katrina tore up so much along the Gulf Coa...
Phoenix, AZ - Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, told a group of reporters that she is going to buy the presidency of the United States as a gift for John's seventy-second birthday.
"I know it's what he really wan...
Washington, D.C. - At a press conference today, President Bush was asked how he was able to persuade Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to withdraw his previous endorsement of a timetable for withdrawal of American troops. The President was blunt.
Selma, AL - Presidential candidate John McCain showed up at a press conference in Selma wearing a white pillowcase over his head with eye holes cut out. He apologized to the audience, telling them that his skin is highly sensitive to sunlight and he...
Washington, D.C. - During a teleconference today, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said that to help cut gas prices, congress should open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, and allow for the expansion of oil exploration in o...
Washington, D.C. - There was frenzied speculation inside the Beltway yesterday after it was revealed that President Bush had ordered all of the White House locks changed. A spokesperson for the White House said that this was nothing more than a regul...
Washington, D.C. - Embattled former Bush advisor Karl Rove held an impromptu teleconference this morning form his new office somewhere in northern Paraguay. Sweating profusely, Mr. Rove appeared to be delivering his announcement from inside a small m...