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Occupy Wall Street, still not happening...honest, no it really isnt, trust me, I'm a journalist.

Funny story: Occupy Wall Street, still not happening...honest, no it really isnt, trust me, I'm a journalist.

The protests that aren't happening in New York's famous financial district are still not happening, according to people who haven't seen it, mainly due to the fact that it isn't going on at all, which is also the main reason for it not being covered...

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PJ Harvey picked by Cameron to be Obesity Tsar

Funny story: PJ Harvey picked by Cameron to be Obesity Tsar

It has been 'all go' since winning her second Mercury prize and it doesn't look as if the media merry go round shows any signs of slowing for pops diminutive, happy go lucky and playful poppet, Polly Jean Harvey. After a whirlwind tour of breakfas...

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Bumper crop of scrumpers and bramble ramblers due to austerity measures.

Funny story: Bumper crop of scrumpers and bramble ramblers due to austerity measures.

The conurbations of England may have seen its share of troubles of late, with hoards of the great unwanted roaming the shopping arcades and retail boulevards, on the look out for a free take home treat of a flat TV or DVD, but an altogether quieter r...

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It happened on my watch

Funny story: It happened on my watch

Following a week of shock revelations and all manner of hullabaloo, there have been warnings of more to come. The times they are a changing and that's not all, people are going and coming, regimes are changing and the hand that ticks and tocks awa...

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Monkey steals newspaper company to write news about himself

Funny story: Monkey steals newspaper company to write news about himself

A macaque monkey in Indonesia took ownership of a major news periodical from a distracted media mogul before publishing stories about himself in a variety of situations. The primate went to investigate the printing equipment before becoming fascin...

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The Spoof writers decided not to join strike

Funny story: The Spoof writers decided not to join strike

There has been some heated debate among the proletariat masses regarding just who would be striking against government cuts, as part of the country wide industrial inaction. The Spoof writers, who, it is fair to say, enjoy a good mass-debate over...

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Local man starts acting responsibly. Close friends concerned.

Funny story: Local man starts acting responsibly. Close friends concerned.

A local man has taken the unprecedented step of changing his sheets recently and ironing some of his clothes, even if he isn't 'on a promise' that evening. According to close friends he 'just started acting a bit more responsibly' Along with a...

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Trains operate only in 'Goldilocks Zone'

Funny story: Trains operate only in 'Goldilocks Zone'

Heat on overhead power lines has caused the cancellation of trains from London to other places. Questions have been asked as to why these same routes were similarly effected during the winter, but due to temperatures being too low. It appears tha...

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Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

Funny story: Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

A senior member of David Cameron's Tory constituency association has been found dead in a toilet at Glastonbury Festival, the police announced a curfew with immediate effect, no one is to leave Glastonbury. Of the 137,000 people attending the fest...

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Galliano mistaken for fashion designer

Funny story: Galliano mistaken for fashion designer

The drunk, junky, drug addled fascist malcontent, anti-semite and all round bad egg, John Galliano, allegedly, is having no end of bother these days since being caught on camera hurling abuse at people who don't comply with his paradigm. Not to menti...

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Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Funny story: Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Glastonbury 2011: With mere hours to go until festival-goers descend on Worthy Farm to watch headline acts including Frank Sidebottom, Beyonce and The Wurzles, organisers warn fans to bring wellies, raincoats, inflatable dingies and distress flares.

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Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Funny story: Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is hiding down the pub since incurring the wrath of her indoors. Apparently the lovely Gwyneth, no honest, she is lovely, it's not her fault that she was named after a sheep, anyhoo, the lovely Gwyneth is in one hec...

Read full story View 'Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!'

Twitter to have Bull Shit detector fitted

Funny story: Twitter to have Bull Shit detector fitted

Following on from quite a few recent misleading viral tweets, it has been decided that some form of filtering system should be put in place to stop alarming and untrue stories from spreading like wildfire and causing potential public harm, mainly due...

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Russell Brand did NOT shag Jonathan Ross's daughter. Shock claim.

Funny story: Russell Brand did NOT shag Jonathan Ross's daughter. Shock claim.

The world of celebrity stuff and things is moderately reeling today from the announcement that there is allegedly at least one bird on the planet that pneumatic tadger wielding Brand hasn't bedded, apart from his own relatives that is. Following o...

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Sachs telephones Ross about lezzer daughter

Funny story: Sachs telephones Ross about lezzer daughter

Jonathan Ross is hopping mad apparently after Andrew Sachs ripped the shit out of him for having a lezzer as a daughter. 'Ripped the shit' has been revealed to be an English colloquialism for taking the piss. As soon as news broke regarding Jo...

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Local man stars in advert for local kebab shop following mugging

Funny story: Local man stars in advert for local kebab shop following mugging

The battered face of formulaic local man, Eccles Burnstone, features in a new advert for a local fast food outlet. The 43 year-old was mugged by four people and also robbed of his freshly purchased kebab, the advert was an idea by Eccles himself,...

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Virgin Media plots a Tivo injection

Funny story: Virgin Media plots a Tivo injection

Daybed entertainment source for England's feckless layabout doley scroungers, Virgin Media, have announced its intention to bring a Tivo powered television service to UK couch potatoes. Those concerned that their daytime TV time is nothing but rep...

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Index finger length prostate cancer clue

Funny story: Index finger length prostate cancer clue

A British Journal of Cancer study has found men whose index finger is longer than their ring finger are more likely to poke themselves in the bum hole then men with shorter fingers. Men are well known for poking themselves in the bum hole in secre...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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