Showing stories written by Ace Ventura

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Funny story: The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

We've all heard that some people keep their self pure until marriage. But one Thaddeus B. Jerkwell takes that to a whole other level. Mr. Jerkwell is ninety years old. In the small town of Winchester, Kansas where everyone and their Mum's have a...
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Funny story: It's Kaboom for Zoom

It's Kaboom for Zoom

Zoom Chewing Gum / Airway's stock crashed yesterday after a failed attempt by CEO Mr. Cornelius Zoom at a new flavored chewing guy sirloin steak.
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Funny story: The Simpsons Causes Eye Cancer

The Simpsons Causes Eye Cancer

The Longest Running Animated Comedy the Simpsons has been causing eye cancer for over 10 years!...
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Funny story: The End's Not Near It's Here

The End's Not Near It's Here

Soap fans in America were devastated when the season 4 finale of the popular TV Series The O.C. "The End's not near it's Here" aired last night.
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Funny story: PotterCOM Introduces New Product

PotterCOM Introduces New Product

Last week PotterCOM introduced the WAND. A thin long device which you activate by waving it and saying an activation key Wingardium Leviosa. After which, you must also say a wand-phone number and it makes the call.
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Funny story: I Told you so! Pottermania continues

I Told you so! Pottermania continues

Following the release of the refreshing Potterade apple juice drink from Powerade, the world has now started on the slippery slope towards Pottercraze!...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan on the road to be sexy again or trying to

Lindsay Lohan on the road to be sexy again or trying to

Fat saggy actress, Lindsay Lohan, has announced on CNN that she is cutting off the news from her Beverly Hills home.
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Funny story: Powerade to release new energy drink "Potterade"

Powerade to release new energy drink "Potterade"

Popular energy drink Powerade has signed a deal with Wanker Bros and J.K. Rowling in the next three Harry Potter and the films instead of drinking Butterbeer the Rowling creation they will be drinking Powerade.
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Funny story: Female Crime Wave Worsens

Female Crime Wave Worsens

In New York City a terrible plague has hit a crime wave. Women aged 20-25 have been kidnapping men beetween 18-29 and sexually assaulting them.
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Funny story: PS3 Explosion!

PS3 Explosion!

The release of Sony's Playstation 3 in New Zealand have made people go mad. The NZ store Harvey Nomansland was shipped a dodgy batch of Playstations they claimed to get out of a lawsuit posted by Boonger, I mean islander Noteven Ow.
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Funny story: Breakthrough in Gene Recreation

Breakthrough in Gene Recreation

Dr. Rupert J. Boredwell once said "Let's make a superhuman." The next day he was found shot dead and his apartment was empty. His successor Dr. I.M Gaye (I seem to be writing about him alot), took over his project soon made a breakthrou...
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Funny story: Scientists Working on Cure

Scientists Working on Cure

Scientist I.M Gaye (Ira Manchester Gaye) is the head of the Department developing a cure for the incredibly gay Boy Band Syndrome disease.
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Funny story: Tasters for new beer sue Brewery

Tasters for new beer sue Brewery

This weekend, at Ass & a Half Beer Brewery, a new beer was being tasted. Called Ass' Turd Beer, head taster Dubya Pod threw up on me (I'll be suing him if he wins the case anyway).
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Funny story: Casting for Pirates 3 Go Haywire

Casting for Pirates 3 Go Haywire

The Popular Movie Saga Pirates of the Caribbean was having auditions for the third movie At Worlds End for the part of Captain Sao Feng Yun-Fat Chow (I know what you're thinking were his parents high? We'll never know) got the part after a fu...
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Breaking News...

"Goop" Introduces Coal Egg

"Once you muster enough pelvic muscle strength to compress this baby into a diamond, you will have a beautiful gemstone to present to the man of your dreams," declared spokesmodel Gwyneth Paltrow.
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