Former Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will finish and record a lost Britney Spears song for release later this year, sources in the music industry are reporting.
With the news this week that Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood will begin the 2007 season on the disabled list, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry proclaimed at a special ceremony that, "Baseball season is officially here!"...
In an attempt to fight the "greenhouse effect," Pres. George W. Bush today passed into law a global warming bill that makes it illegal for American cows and sheep to belch.
Adding to her recent legacy of acting like a complete idiot, Britney Spears announced today that she is actually the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn.
In a prepared statement, God has announced a recall of Britney Spears, in light of her recent escapades - from drunken partying to her on-again, off-again rehab, to publicly shaving her head.
A negligence lawsuit against the website MySpace, originally filed in response to a young girl who lied about her age being groomed online, was thrown out of a federal court in Texas this week. Meanwhile, another such lawsuit has been filed - by pare...
The United States mint announced this week that it will attempt to shove another dollar-coin down our throats. This expected failure is to be called the Presidential Dollar, a gold-colored coin that depicts past presidents beginning with George Washi...
The Police, after a 20-year hiatus, kicked off a world reunion tour this week by playing the Grammys to commemorate the 30-year anniversary of the band's formation. That they were old and creaky was lost on no one.
Iran religious leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced today that Iran would respond to any U.S. aggression by striking at America's interests all over the globe, prompting President George W. Bush to proclaim Iran the latest in line for a good o...
A spokeswoman for Tourette Syndrome International, a non-profit organization that educates the public about the disorder and raises funds for research, said at a press conference today that despite PR efforts, TS is $#%&ing misunderstood.
Jesus Christ announced today that he has legally changed his name to Jesus H. Smith.
Osama Bin Laden and other suspected al-Qaeda leaders are reportedly concerned about recent drop-offs in terrorist training camp recruits due to reports of hazing.
Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, a regular in television commercials for products ranging from Sprint to MasterCard, said during his Super Bowl media day interview that he looks forward to doing even more commercials if the Colts win.
2006 Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized this week due to ongoing complications stemming from the breakdown he suffered during the Preakness Stakes last May. But a marketing representative from Purina noted that Barbaro "will sure taste...
Little remains other than some bones, hair, teeth and a large and tattered sequin jumpsuit, and reports out of Memphis today confirmed the worst: Elvis Presley is still dead.
A vial of Angelina Jolie's saliva sold on eBay for $43,450 this week, with hundreds of bids pouring in for the rare and highly sought-after collectible.
LONDON - Sources close to someone who once owned a copy of the Beatles' Rubber Soul album are reporting today that ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has reached a divorce settlement with his estranged ex-wife, one-legged supermodel Heather Mills, wort...
HATTIESBURG, MS - Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre announced that Brett Favre from the future appeared before him as he mowed his lawn yesterday and told him to return to the football field in 2007.
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Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team
Super Bowl Winners Eagles Do Victory Tour
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Scientists Seek Artificial Filter for Trump's Thoughts
Trump is Banned From Attending Olympics
Trump Calls the Stock Market Drop "Fake News" and Blames Obama and Crooked Hillary
Rep Schiff Exposed as Hillary Black Ops Bot
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