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Doctors Discover Man Suffers From "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensitivities of Society Syndrome"

Funny story: Doctors Discover Man Suffers From "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensitivities of Society Syndrome"

Indianapolis, IN - Doctors here at the Indianapolis State Medical Center have diagnosed the first man with a mental disorder they are calling: "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensiti...

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Animal Trainer Routinely Uses Whip and Gun On Tiger - Has Audacity To Act Surprised When Animal Chews His Arms Off

Funny story: Animal Trainer Routinely Uses Whip and Gun On Tiger - Has Audacity To Act Surprised When Animal Chews His Arms Off

Toronto - A local animal trainer for the Toronto Zoo suffered severe injuries when his tiger, Meeka, turned on him during a training session and gnawed his arms off. According to fellow workmates, the trainer, Peter Dawson, 38, routinely whipped Meek...

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Sexist Man Blatantly Holds Door Open For Woman - Then Called "Rude, Inconsiderate, Sexist Jerk" After Letting Woman Get Door For Herself

Funny story: Sexist Man Blatantly Holds Door Open For Woman - Then Called "Rude, Inconsiderate, Sexist Jerk" After Letting Woman Get Door For Herself

King's Beach, CA - A sexist man here got put in his place after holding the door open for a woman at the local Gas 'N' Sip Tuesday night. Sexist, Fred Holden, 45, single and a local fireman, held the door open for Anita Artisian and rudely said, "Aft...

Read full story View 'Sexist Man Blatantly Holds Door Open For Woman - Then Called "Rude, Inconsiderate, Sexist Jerk" After Letting Woman Get Door For Herself'

This Election: George H. W. Bush To Vote For Tapioca Pudding - "Hooray for Twinkies!" Exclaims Former President

Funny story: This Election: George H. W. Bush To Vote For Tapioca Pudding - "Hooray for Twinkies!" Exclaims Former President

Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding. "I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic belly...

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Airport Security Detains One Year-Old For Possible Bomb Materials In Diaper - "Goo-goo, ga-ga" Says Potential Terrorist

Funny story: Airport Security Detains One Year-Old For Possible Bomb Materials In Diaper - "Goo-goo, ga-ga" Says Potential Terrorist

Salt Lake City - Security here at the Salt Lake City Airport detained a toddler after an officer smelled "a potential terrorist substance" coming from the child's diaper. One year-old Christopher Billingsly, known as Teddy Bear to those who love h...

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Study Reveals: Americans Better At Rioting Than People In UK

Funny story: Study Reveals: Americans Better At Rioting Than People In UK

Washington - A study was released here today proving Americans are much better at rioting than people in other countries - especially the UK. "We rock when it comes to rioting," says White House spokesperson, Perry Larson. "No one riots like the U...

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Homeless Woman Cries Out To God For Help - God Too Busy Helping Denver Broncos

Funny story: Homeless Woman Cries Out To God For Help - God Too Busy Helping Denver Broncos

New York City - A homeless woman here cried out to God to help her find food to feed her and her three year-old child, saying, "Oh, please, God. Don't let my baby die!" God replied an hour later. "I had to tell her 'no way,'" God said. "I realize...

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Paper And Ink Factory Explosion Creates Entire Dictionary By Accident: "See! Told ya!" Say Evolutionists

Funny story: Paper And Ink Factory Explosion Creates Entire Dictionary By Accident: "See! Told ya!" Say Evolutionists

Miami, Florida - Evolutionists could not contain their excitement when a paper and ink factory exploded today, inadvertently creating an entire, accurate dictionary in its wake. Miami Paper and Ink Inc. exploded for unknown reasons. As hundreds w...

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Michelle Obama Spanks Nation's Children - Sends Them To Bed Without Supper

Funny story: Michelle Obama Spanks Nation's Children - Sends Them To Bed Without Supper

Washington DC - The First Lady has taken further and more drastic action in her efforts to raise everyone's children for them. Michelle Obama, whose work to bring tasteless and crappy food to the nation's school cafeterias was a dismal failure and on...

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Everyone In Whole Wide World Hates Local Man

Funny story: Everyone In Whole Wide World Hates Local Man

Kansas City - A local man here discovered today that indeed everyone in the whole wide world hated him and wished he was dead - including his own family, who would love nothing more than to smash his head in. Ezekiel Stanford, 40, a local man who...

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Catholic Conservative Group Asks Politicians To Stop Using the Word "Caucus" - Suggests Using "Hum-Hum Assembly" Or "Thingy-Group"

Funny story: Catholic Conservative Group Asks Politicians To Stop Using the Word "Caucus" - Suggests Using "Hum-Hum Assembly" Or "Thingy-Group"

Washington DC - A conservative Catholic group known as "Parishioners Eliminating Naughty Insinuation Society", or "PENIS," demanded today that politicians stop using the word "caucus" for what they call "obvious reasons." "People are always trying...

Read full story View 'Catholic Conservative Group Asks Politicians To Stop Using the Word "Caucus" - Suggests Using "Hum-Hum Assembly" Or "Thingy-Group"'

Republicans and Democrats To Meet By Swing Sets At Recess

Funny story: Republicans and Democrats To Meet By Swing Sets At Recess

Washington - Republicans and Democrats announced today that they would be meeting by the swing sets at recess to "solve their differences" once and for all - and "no fair telling teacher!" "You're dead at recess!" said Obama, pointing an accusing...

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Woman Contracts Virus After Excessive Facebook "Poking"

Funny story: Woman Contracts Virus After Excessive Facebook "Poking"

Facebook - A woman here has contracted what scientist are calling "a new kind of virus we can make money off of", after excessive and uprotected "poking" of friends on her Facebook account. Mellisa Darin had gained the reputation of "not caring wh...

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Local Man Voluntarily Removes Own Testicles Before Committing To Relationship

Funny story: Local Man Voluntarily Removes Own Testicles Before Committing To Relationship

Kansas City - A local man here manipulated his own mind with guilt-trips until reaching the decision to remove his own testicles before committing himself to a relationship. 40 year-old Jack Sloan reported to officials that he had used a plastic b...

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President Bush Farts - Head Shrinks Three Inches

Funny story: President Bush Farts - Head Shrinks Three Inches

Washington DC - Officials here reported that after farting, President Bush's head shrank at least three inches, causing many Americans to state "that explains a lot."...

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Americans To Celebrate Independence Day With Third-Degree Burns, Drunk Driving

Funny story: Americans To Celebrate Independence Day With Third-Degree Burns, Drunk Driving

OMAHA - Americans are gearing up for the upcoming celebration of Independence Day with plans to barbeque, let off fireworks, inflict third-degree burns on themselves and others, and drive drunk.

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Insensitive Jerk Tells Female Co-Worker: "Gee, that's a nice blouse, Charlene." - Charged With Sexual Harassment

Funny story: Insensitive Jerk Tells Female Co-Worker: "Gee, that's a nice blouse, Charlene." - Charged With Sexual Harassment

SEATTLE - An extremely insensitive jerk was arrested today after he blatantly informed a female co-worker that he thought she had a nice blouse.

Read full story View 'Insensitive Jerk Tells Female Co-Worker: "Gee, that's a nice blouse, Charlene." - Charged With Sexual Harassment'

Brain Tumor Informs Friends He Has A Ted Kennedy

THE BRAIN - A brain tumor in the left hemisphere announced today that according to doctors he has a malignant Ted Kennedy and was expected to be rid of it in at least three months.

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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