Los Angeles Police Department detectives expected to find all manner and means of very mean manner of painkillers and heart attack serious narcotics when they seized the doctor supplied medicine chest of the King of Pop Michael Jackson. To their surp...
Fresh from returning after his death defying battle with the giant squid, Governor Schwarzenegger was called to San diego to solve the problem of the endangered seals on the Children's Cove Beach. A local judge had ordered the evacuation of the seals...
While orbiting the earth, the crew of the space shuttle Endeavor agreed to answer teenagers questions about space travel on Youtube. Beatsit from Raleigh, NC asked the astronauts what happens when you get a woody in your space suit? Lead Spacewalker,...
Ancient Roman High God, Jupiter, has taken one for the earthling team this week by absorbing the shock of a colliding comet.Astronomers tell us that this is not the first time that Jupiter has risked its planetary ass by taking one for the team of ni...
Scholars of the great American pastime, baseball, have been studying the All Star Game video showing United States President Barack Obama throwing out the first pitch at the star studded gala sporting event. Despite his articulate manner of speech an...
Notorious large breasted English exchange student Amanda Fox has accomplished more than Playboy centerfold and a full eagle spread in Bladewars Illustrated this year. She has managed to be at the center of an OJ Simpson like crime investigation and b...
Rapster extraordinaire and bully embarassment Chris Brown released a two minute video apologising for beating his musical girlfriend, Rihanna. Besides probation and community service doing garbage collection on Sesame Street the judge decided that Br...
Duke of York, Prince Andrew was whacking his balls out on the green at Buckingham Palace when a squadron of Royal protection officers happened by and suggested that the once and maybe even future king may want to do his business in the privacy of his...
In a scene out of Jules Verne, giant squid have been attacking divers off the coast of California. Impotent in his state's fiscal battles, the once great steroid using body builder, movie star assasin and Ravisher of Kennedy women, Arnold threw down...
Sociologists have documented the Straight girl-Gay guy friendship thing as not only anecdotally true but also as a statistical reality and an excellent predictor that girls with gay guy friends will be straight and that guys who fit in as one of the...
Friending once the highest compliment in the social network hierarchy of who's who may soon be replaced by a more visceral kind of contact, now that the worldwide web has been captured by the internet " town " of Assberry. Soon a message in your inbo...
Barack Obama known for his ability to multi task and kick ass in multiple corners is appearing this week in the debut of the new critically acclaimed Harry potter and the Half-Breed Prince. Barack plays an African- Hawaiian- Kansan who rises from rel...
With a squadron of white boy jets strafing and bombing everything in her path, Sonia Sotomayor, a wise Puertoriquena shark from NYC has been swimming like a killer shark. Perhaps it helps that the street gang of Jets come from backwoods locales like...
In a widely distributed Papal Encyclical, Papa Benedict the Sixteenth has reinforced the controversial economic justice prophecy of the last 150 years of Catholic social teaching, despite the fact that it drives rich Roman catholic free marketers bon...
Traditionalist Catholic Mel Gibson insisted that his hands be the hands that drove the nails into the crucified actor playing Jesus in The Passion of the Christ. This same devout religious believer abandoned his wife of thirty years who is also the m...
Amy Winehouse recently dropped out of sight and rehab was the best guess of those who know and mock her best. this time the therapy Miss Wino sought was not that of the twelve steps or Freud's analysis. instead Amy in the tradition of her ancient Eng...
The paparazzi were out in their usual droves as Adrian Honey Chiles putted up to the Christine Bleakley's Bleak House to give her a ride on his put- put. Chiles displayed some second thoughts about his co-stars tinie weenie yet often versatile black...
Republicans on the judiciary committee believe that they have come up with a clever test for Sotomayor's fitness for the Supreme Court of the United States. Mormon Orin Hatch hatched the scheme during one of his Big Love episodes. The plot goes somet...