US Special Forces were closing in on Osama Bin Laden last night, after intercepting an injudicious message from the terror chief on social networking website Twitter.
"OBL2001 is... relaxing at his favourite cave in good old Tora Bora. You know -...
Several episodes in to the new series of 24, and former First Lady Hillary Clinton has expressed relief that she narrowly avoided becoming the first female President of the United States.
Aides revealed Mrs Clinton has been "closely following" eve...
With Barack Obama's inauguration as President of the United States just days away, several prominent heads of state are competing for the privilege of "buddying-up" and taking him under their wing as he makes his first tentative steps onto the tricky...
Panic and writers' block engulfed Systems Analyst Tony Walton yesterday, as he was handed a communal leaving card for Susan Chambers - a longtime colleague at computer software firm Infobiztec.
"Everyone else had written all these heartfelt or ef...
St Nicholas, the jovial and benevolent bearer of Christmas gifts died when his custom-made sleigh collided with a Jumbo Jet just outside the North Pole, newly-impoverished parents reported to their children yesterday.
The man more commonly known a...
The British Honours system was mired in scandal last night when it emerged the Queen bases her recommendation for titles on frivolous credentials and "personal whimsy".
A leaked memo from Buckingham Palace revealed the shortlist for the 2009 New Y...
Guy Ritchie has delayed post-production on his latest movie and ordered a series of last-minute rewrites to the as-yet-untitled period drama.
Industry insiders had previously praised Ritchie for his "change of direction", when it was announced tha...
A hushed and respectful crowd gathered outside a Connecticut courthouse yesterday as movie icon Paul Newman's last will and testament was revealed.
The majority of his fortune was split evenly between family members and charitable organisations, b...
An entire nation woke groggily yesterday with the nagging guilty feeling that traditionally accompanies ill-judged over-indulgence.
After sternly promising to be sensible, Great Britain lost it from around 5pm on Friday and proceeded to degenerat...
As relentless wind and rain continues to sweep through the country, ruining a second consecutive summer, incidences of pissing and moaning are at an unprecedented high.
Over 50 millimetres of bile and spittle fell in the West Country in less than...
As knife crime grips the nation's inner cities, and gangs run amok on council estates across the country, a shocking new report has revealed how teen violence is now spreading to other social demographics.
Square-jawed, ruddy-faced groups of youth...
A week after completing a three day government-approved training course in Corporate First Aid and Health and Safety, Jeff Birks, a Junior Credit Controller for InfoTech Systems Inc., expressed frustration that he had yet to be called into action.
A report in respected psychiatric journal Nutters has revealed an important new benchmark in measuring mental instability.
ITV1 have announced plans for a brand new game-show that is set to revolutionise the light entertainment industry.
The days of stuffy toastmasters stiltedly clinking champagne glasses and barking dry, emotionless orders to your nearest and dearest may soon be over, with the news that Sky Sports are rolling out their successful football results service format onto...
Scandal hit Channel 4 last night as camp presenter and self-professed "Makeover Queen" Gok Wan was sensationally revealed to be as straight as a die.
Wan, the presumed-to-be-gay host of hit show How to Look Good Naked, admitted at a press conferen...
Following the success of his recent Rolling Stones Rockumentary, Shine a Light, veteran director Martin Scorsese has decided to stick with the music theme for his next epic.
Peg-legged, lawyer-soaking nut-job, Heather Mills, was today threatening further legal action against hapless ex-Beatle and former husband Paul McCartney after a judge published the details of their divorce settlement.