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Stick-Figure-Man Wins Copyright Lawsuit

Funny story: Stick-Figure-Man Wins Copyright Lawsuit

In a stunning victory today, Stick-Figure-Man (S-F-M) won his decades long lawsuit against the world. Experts predict that the reward he'll earn for copyright infringement and libel will be in the high billions if not trillions.

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Fruitcake Attacks, Devours Pit Bull

Funny story: Fruitcake Attacks, Devours Pit Bull

Houston, TX : Yesterday a 9-inch fruitcake attacked and ate a full-grown pit bull. Rocky was a 4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier weighing in at just over 75 lbs.

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Flesh-Eating Bacteria Refuse To Eat Michael Jackson

Funny story: Flesh-Eating Bacteria Refuse To Eat Michael Jackson

Stunned scientists are reporting today that pop star Michael Jackson has been discovered to have a very rare immunity to flesh-eating bacteria.

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'The Day After Tomorrow' Destroys Record Before Release, Wins Dubious Award

LA, NY, Montreal (FP) - Twentieth Century Fox's global warming disaster epic has completely annihilated a previous film record before even being released for public consumption. The $125 million Hollywood blockbuster has ironically won the 'G...

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Israeli-U.S. Laser Slices Off Part of Moon

JERUSALEM (FP) - A laser beam under joint Israeli-U.S. development missed a long-range rocket in the skies over the American Southwest and severed off a substantial chunk of the moon, Israel's Defense Ministry said on Friday.

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Urban Survivalists Thinning Out, Placed On Endangered Species List

WASHINGTON (FP) - Money grubbing capitalists added 288,000 jobs to their payrolls in April as the nation's unemployment rate slipped to 5.6 percent, forcing urban survivalists (homeless hobos) to abandon any and all excuses and actually go to wor...

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Hockey Hit-Man Bertuzzi Makes Many Apologies, Says He Didn't Mean It

TORONTO, Canada (FP) -- Todd Bertuzzi, an All-Star NHL forward, publically apologized to Colorado's Steve Moore, the man whose neck he broke with one damaging punch.

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Politico Ad Nauseum

Three new Bush Campaign ads that feature the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center have ignited criticism from the families of the victims, Democrats and anyone with a working moral compass. But it's not just the President's ads which ar...

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Kerry Wants To Become America's First Inverted President

Funny story: Kerry Wants To Become America's First Inverted President

GREENVILLE, Mississippi (FP) -- Democratic presidential hopeful John F. Kerry made a startling announcement yesterday. What he is proposing not only defies the laws of logic, but would also defy the laws of physics as well.

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Martha Stewart Found "Quilty"

Funny story: Martha Stewart Found "Quilty"

NEW YORK (FP) - Martha Stewart was found to be "quilty" on Friday by a jury of her peers completely consisting of homemakers both male and female. She had been charged with blocking out justice and embroidering a patchwork of lies that she...

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Bird Holds Man's Eyeball Hostage

Funny story: Bird Holds Man's Eyeball Hostage

FORT MYERS, Florida (FP) -- A pet parrot has stolen its owners fake eye and is holding it hostage. The bird, whose name is Colonel Bubby, is a Military Macaw (ara militaris) who is demanding changes in living conditions and claims that the prosthetic...

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San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.

Funny story: San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA (FP) -- In order to deal with the city's increasing financial crisis, San francisco has started printing its own money to pay off debtors and employees. The controversial move has caused an uproar among more fiscally conservativ...

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Horses Genetically Engineered To Have Cupholders

Funny story: Horses Genetically Engineered To Have Cupholders

COLLEGE STATION, TX -- It's not your father's horse. Researchers at Texas A&M University have successfully altered horse DNA so that each one is born with a cupholder on it's neck. The feat is being hailed as a biological engineering brea...

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Janet's Nipple Ripple

Funny story: Janet's Nipple Ripple

The aftershocks of Janet Jackson's and Justin Timberlake's strip tease at the Super Bowl are still being felt several weeks later. The latest event to fall victim to the tasteless in-your-face incident is an ABC biopic about Lena Horne.

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Passion Of The Christ: A Warlock Hunt

Funny story: Passion Of The Christ: A Warlock Hunt

Much controversy has surrounded Mel Gibson's film about the brutal torture and murder of humanity's most well-known religious figure. Taken from the gospel accounts in the Bible, the story revolves around the people who were ultimately respon...

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Zogby: Hung In Triple Digit Lead Over Bush, Kerry

WASHINGTON -- A new text-messaging poll conducted by Zogby International for The Spoof and UC Berkeley from February 12-19, 2004 of 3,137,209 likely voters with a margin of error of +/- .08 percentage points found that if the election for president w...

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Gibson's 'Passion' Subliminal Nazi Propaganda

Funny story: Gibson's 'Passion' Subliminal Nazi Propaganda

Hollywood, CA -- Critical analysis of Mel Gibson's new controversial movie has revealed subliminal images and messages peppered throughout the flick. And they're not designed to influence your snack purchase or next movie choice, they're...

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Dems Question Bush's Age, Claim He Couldn't Have Been In '72 Alabama

Washington -- It appears that President Bush is not as old as he has previously led everyone to believe. Accusations from an unknown reliable source claim that the leader of the free world is only 30 years old; which would make his age a negative-two...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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