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'Hand Relief' Charity TV Event Announced - Celebrity Porn Extravaganza Set to Raise Millions

Funny story: 'Hand Relief' Charity TV Event Announced - Celebrity Porn Extravaganza Set to Raise Millions

TV5 bosses tonight announced an evening of celebrity porn based programmes aimed at raising millions of pounds for the charity SIN (Slappers in Need). Hand Relief, which will air in late July, will include such treats as: - 'Celebrity Come doggin...

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Tiger Woods Quits Golf to Concentrate on Shagging

Funny story: Tiger Woods Quits Golf to Concentrate on Shagging

In a statement on his web-site which has rocked the world of golf, Tiger Woods announced: "I need to give the golf a rest - I'm knackered". He cited the demands of his wife and 78 girlfriends as the reason for this decision. "My swing has deter...

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Tiger Woods Driving Woes Continue

Funny story: Tiger Woods Driving Woes Continue

Tiger Woods well documented troubles with his driving ended in a visit to a Florida hospital in the early hours of Friday morning. He managed to duck hook a 300 yard drive from his garage, ricocheting off a fire hydrant and ending up 50 yards out of...

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Ex Actor Smacks Her Ex on X-Factor

Funny story: Ex Actor Smacks Her Ex on X-Factor

Amid chaotic scenes during the live screening of X-Factor last night, contestant Lucie Jones sensationally lashed out with a right hook aimed at judge Louis Walsh. The pugilistic interlude happened halfway through the singer's heart rending renditio...

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Brown backing for Blair presidency sealed in 'Pizza Hut pact'

Funny story: Brown backing for Blair presidency sealed in 'Pizza Hut pact'

At a press conference late last night, Prime Minister Gordon Brown admitted that his backing for Tony Blair as EU President was sealed in a secret meeting at the Walworth branch of Pizza Hut. "Every 15 years we meet up, and this time it was my choic...

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It's Official - Philately Will Get You Nowhere

Funny story: It's Official - Philately Will Get You Nowhere

It's official: Philately will get you nowhere - at least as far as members of the opposite sex are concerned...

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Curry's in Sat Nav apology to Navy

Funny story: Curry's in Sat Nav apology to Navy

The UK's largest electrical retailers, Curry's, today admitted that Sat Nav sets sold to the Royal Navy "may have been a bit iffy". However, the high street giant refused to take the blame for the diplomatic crisis with Iran that h...

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More West Ham Woe as Top Player Eaten by Puma

Funny story: More West Ham Woe as Top Player Eaten by Puma

West Ham's fortunes hit rock bottom earlier today as news emerged that Lucas Neill had been swallowed whole by a huge black cat, thought to be a puma. The incident happened at the Chadwell Heath training ground, where the Australian centre back...

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Mourinho demands suspension of Premiership

Funny story: Mourinho demands suspension of Premiership

In an astonishing press conference this morning, Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho demanded the immediate suspension of the Premiership. He is angry that other clubs are "taking extreme advantage" of the West London club's injury problems -...

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I hate this job, says Iraq's PM

Funny story: I hate this job, says Iraq's PM

Nouri Maliki today told journalists that he can't wait to leave his job as the political head of Iraq. "It's a rubbish job and nobody seems to like me" he protested.

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Afghanistan chosen to host 2008 world war

Funny story: Afghanistan chosen to host 2008 world war

At a gala event in Singapore last night, Afghanistan was chosen to host the next world war, expected to start in 2008. They beat off strong competition from Belgium, Israel and Pakistan to emerge victorious with the catchy slogan "War: Its What...

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Shock as Hammers appoint Bjork Director of Football

Funny story: Shock as Hammers appoint Bjork Director of Football

In a suprise move today, West Ham's Icelandic chairman Eggert Magnusson today announced 90's singing sensation Bjork as their new footballing supremo.

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Chelsea will play without referees, following FA offer snub

Funny story: Chelsea will play without referees, following FA offer snub

Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho today announced that they would no longer agree to allow referees at their matches. It follows the sensational rejection by the English FA this morning of Chelsea's offer to "buy" all premiership referees fo...

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Accept Tolerance or Else, says Blair

Funny story: Accept Tolerance or Else, says Blair

In a landmark speech from Downing Street earlier today, Tony Blair warned that extreme religious groups would not be tolerated in Britain today. "This is a multicultural society" he said "with deeply ingrained values of tolerance and...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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