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China's terracotta army will fight terrorism

Funny story: China's terracotta army will fight terrorism

Chinese President Hu Jintao promised American President, Barack Obama today that he would send 100,000 terracotta troops to help the NATO forces fight terrorism in Afghanistan. The soldiers, which vary in height from 6 ft. to 6 ft. 5 in., will be shi...

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Burger King's, "Flame" blamed for mountain lion attack

Funny story: Burger King's, "Flame" blamed for mountain lion attack

Burger King's new men's body spray, "Flame, the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat" is being blamed for a mountain lion attack which happened earlier this morning near Blowing Rock. Hans Feltercrack and his wife were hiking The...

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Bush visited by three ghosts, wakes up changed man

Funny story: Bush visited by three ghosts, wakes up changed man

President Bush, having survived a night with three apparitions, was feeling very much alive this morning. Eye witnesses say that the president was seen walking over to the federal treasury and inquiring how much money was available and then arranging...

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Bush visited by ghost of Hoover

Funny story: Bush visited by ghost of Hoover

It was reported that President Bush was visited by the ghost of Herbert Hoover after he and the first lady finished watching the tonight show earlier this evening. Bush told reporters that the ghost had identified itself as the spirit of Herbert...

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New series, The Auto Zone, to air this Sunday

Funny story: New series, The Auto Zone, to air this Sunday

CBS (Come Buy Something) announced today that it's new series, Auto Zone, would air this Sunday night at 8pm est after it's primer, Blagojevich. Co-writers for the series and new hybrid owners, Richard Wagoner, Alan Mulally and Robert Nardelli sa...

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"Git-Mo" reveals new music CD; Songs to torture by

Funny story: "Git-Mo" reveals new music CD; Songs to torture by

It was reported today that Guantanamo Bay has compiled a CD with their top 17 songs to torture by. "The bleeding ears sweet seventeen", as they are affectionately called by gitmo staff comes out just in time for Christmas. The new album's release...

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Obama's vacant senate seat sells for $300,000 on e-bay

Funny story: Obama's vacant senate seat sells for $300,000 on e-bay

Barack Obama's vacant senate seat sold for $300,000 this morning to an undisclosed bidder on e-bay. Chicago governor, Rod Blagojevich was reported selling the vacant seat to make some extra cash. "I just wanted to make some money," the naked gover...

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US produces new superhero, micro-man

Funny story: US produces new superhero, micro-man

Residents of small town America today witnessed an extraordinarily amazing feat. A superhero of giant proportions attempted an epic feat, to rescue the world from all of it's problems. Eyewitnesses say that as the world struggled with vice, degra...

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Celebratory sex responsible for 1 million blue babies to be born in July

Funny story: Celebratory sex responsible for 1 million blue babies to be born in July

Republicans, fearing the worst, are bracing for an army of 1 million new, blue babies to be born sometime in July. This comes after Gallup-poll findings that 10 million Americans had unprotected sex on election night. "We are fearing the worst,"...

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Guns N' Roses to tour China

Funny story: Guns N' Roses to tour China

The Chinese government in an unexpected gesture of appreciation has invited north American rockers, Guns N' Roses to tour China. "We feel fortunate Guns N' Roses has featured us on their new album," said a Chinese official for the ruling Communis...

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Low test scores blamed on chicken trucks

Funny story: Low test scores blamed on chicken trucks

This year's epidemic of low test scores has an unusual culprit. Since the end-of-grade scores from tests taken in the spring were made public last week, authorities have been searching for an explanation as to why children in the south scored so low.

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Scientists discover new brain food, Cheetos

Funny story: Scientists discover new brain food, Cheetos

Scientists have discovered a new brain food, Cheetos. Researchers were tipped off after President Bill Clinton's former Treasury secretary, Lawrence Summers admitted to wolfing down Cheetos by the bag full. "Our hope is that this study will lead...

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Three-Buck Chuck turns to Three-Buck Upchuck for American consumer as grapes begin to sour for wine maker

Funny story: Three-Buck Chuck turns to Three-Buck Upchuck for American consumer as grapes begin to sour for wine maker

It appears as if the grapes are beginning to sour for California wine maker, Bucking Bronco Wine Co. famed for its three-dollar bottle of wine Charles Shaw variety as their brand is vastly turning into the three-buck upchuck for American consumers.

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America the fragmented; finally politicians reflect truth; study reveals consumption Americas only unifying force

Funny story: America the fragmented; finally politicians reflect truth; study reveals consumption Americas only unifying force

What do Mitt Romney, John McCain, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckleberry, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama have in common? Absolutely nothing according to sociologist and hobby birdwatcher, Dr. Raymond Birdsong who says that it's about tim...

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President Bush economic stimulus package a sure way for schools not to meet AYP

Funny story: President Bush economic stimulus package a sure way for schools not to meet AYP

Instructor, musician and satirist, King David wants to thank President Bush for an economic stimulus package that promises to drive the final nail into the coffin and insure that pubic school systems across the country will not meet AYP, or Adequate...

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Nevada culinary union to make 60,000 chocolate Easter bunnies for Obama campaign

Funny story: Nevada culinary union to make 60,000 chocolate Easter bunnies for Obama campaign

Nevada's largest labor union, the Culinary Union Local 226 joined with parent organization, UNITE-HERE and announced today that it would be making 60,000 chocolate Easter bunnies, one for each member, to commemorate support for the Obama campaign...

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Middle School Science teacher designs curriculum around fire and flatulence

Funny story: Middle School Science teacher designs curriculum around fire and flatulence

Middle school Science teacher, Pandora Boxer has her 8th grade student's undivided attention. Reports say this unconventional, veteran teacher has tapped into her student's natural proclivity to burn things and fart. "They love these two activiti...

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New study reveals shaken babies score low on tests; many southerners and WWF wrestlers affected with Shaken Baby Syndrome

Funny story: New study reveals shaken babies score low on tests; many southerners and WWF wrestlers affected with Shaken Baby Syndrome

A new study revealed today that babies which are shaken by their parents score lower on standardized achievement and end-of-grade tests when they are school aged than their unshaken peers.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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