Showing stories written by Ed Parnell

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A new age, a new Internet - Gates

Funny story: A new age, a new Internet - Gates

Microsoft guru Bill Gates has said he is expecting a whole new breed of computer to be in everyone's homes in five years, and he will personally be calling around to check.

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Relaxation on what you can take on planes

Funny story: Relaxation on what you can take on planes

Air travellers can look forward to taking a full set of limbs onto planes after regulations were relaxed at most airports across the UK.

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9/11 conspiracy 'wrong'

The notion that 9/11 was caused by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons has been dismissed by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons.

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Police act in Missing Toffo inquiry

A toffo, missing from a sergeants desk drawer, remains at large somewhere tonight. Despite deployment of the Met's finest officers, the toffee based sweetmeal continues to evade capture.

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Apple develops iGay

Apple have become the first company to develop a product specifically for the gay market. The iGay is a device which detects shopping bargains, comments on men's clothes and generally minces about when the owner is too tired...

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Henman early

Funny story: Henman early

Tim Henman has turned up at Wimbledon. The tennis ace is five months early, but feels this will give him enough time to warm up for his tournament, and he should be able to beat his opponent.

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New Bugsy Malone film

A film catching up on the Bugsy Malone story is being planned. Set seventy years later, the film sees Malone as an East End London gangster with a variety of henchmen.

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Mysterious Urchin heralds second coming

"A mysterious boy has said the Lord is coming, and who are we to doubt it?" Those were the words of David Sneddon, who has abandoned a career in showbusiness to build a crib and change his name to Mary.

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Ying To Stock Average Average

The Ying To stock average closed nineteen points up today after a unsteady start. Rumours abounded in the market of a possible takeover and that the CEO wears women's clothes and hangs around on the docks. Many brokers watched with interest, thou...

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Violence marred by football

The violence at the Millennium Stadium this weekend was marred by 22 men bent on causing football.

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Apple Issues Apology

Funny story: Apple Issues Apology

Apple have issued an apology over faulty iPods and batteries. It's the first time the juicy giant has admitted a design failure in it's popular range.

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Britney is serious trouble

Funny story: Britney is serious trouble

Britney Spears has finally admitted she has a problem with handling reality.

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Queen and Osama

Worried staff found the Queen in bed with Osama Bin Laden this morning. While serving her morning Earl Grey, Her Majesty was heard to tell Bin Laden in between moans "No wonder you are the most wanted man in the world"...

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John Reid Takes Action On Guns

Funny story: John Reid Takes Action On Guns

John Reid has taken decisive action by going out with a high powered rifle and shooting anyone he thinks may have a gun on or about their person.

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Grand Old Duke of York - lied.

We can reveal the Grand Old Duke of York, who claimed to have ten thousand men, who he marched up to the top of the hill and then in a surprise military move, marched back down again, lied about the size of his battalion.

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Pognoy in hostile shareholder pod Nugent

Retailer Pognoy posted 'disappointing' first quarter results today, blaming the recent decision by their CEO to go on the rampage with a machine gun through a kindergarten.

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Apple Goes from Strength to Strength

Funny story: Apple Goes from Strength to Strength

Apple Corps have followed up their highly successful iPhone with the iDrunk, a new version of the phone for the discerning alcoholic.

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Police Issue New I-Fit

Police trialling new i-fit software have released a picture of a man they want to question in connection with a series of outrages and crimes, to dastardly to mention.

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Breaking news…

Trump Sorry For 'Horseface' Tweet

Trump apologizes to Stormy Daniels for calling her 'horseface' in a
tweet. Tweet was actually meant for Kelly Ann Conway.
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